I said a few weeks ago that I’d be introducing a new character to these parts. But then we all know what happened here with Thursday Thirteen and, to be honest, Wednesday and Thursday of last week just sucked for me. NOT a time to bring someone new into the fold.

However, like most of the women who populate my fiction, Pam doesn’t hold back when she’s been promised something. So… without further ado,

Thirteen Things about Pam Derbish

1. Her hair was originally a caramel brown.

2. She went blonde when she was 12 and never looked back.

3. She began exercising because she was terrified she’d wind up like her parents — overweight, diabetic and emphysemic.

4. She fell in love with her own muscles, once she saw them. Their shape and strength was addictive.

5. Implants only made her look better. She was eighteen when she got them.

6. She avoided the eating disorder trap because those muscles need fuel.

7. That said, she is extremely careful about what she puts in her body.

8. She’s not a huge drinker.

9. That makes being around ShapeShifter difficult.

10. She discovers ShapeShifter mostly because they are the hot thing in Riverview when she’s sixteen.

11. She doesn’t particularly like their music.

12. She loves the attention Trevor gives her.

13. Trevor is a bit of a means to an end — stay tuned for what that means.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

 

While we were busy with the Debut a Debut contest, I snuck in a debut, too, albeit an older one. Joshua Braff’s The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green is a book I’d wanted to read since I first heard about it and come on, how can your resist a book whose cover copy talks about a drawing of a rabbi, a pig, and a lobster in a threesome?

My book club agreed to this adventure, I collected a few copies — because getting books is sometimes a pain — and we read Jacob’s story.

The book is billed as a modern-day Portnoy’s complaint and I was expecting Jacob to be similar to Portnoy in that his teenagered sexual awakening dominated things. Nope. Instead, this book is about Jacob’s relationships with his father and, ultimately, with his brother. And while absolutely nothing in my background is similar to Jacob’s — well, okay, we’ve got that religion thing going — I got this book so totally, I cried through the final confrontation scene.

As for the ending, I got that, too.

This is one of those don’t miss books. You can be sure I’ll be picking up copies at used book stores and sales and sharing them with you guys. Assuming you wisely decide you can’t wait that long.

Just be prepared: the rabbi, the lobster, and the pig aren’t the major players you sort of wish they’d be. Sadly.

 

Despite his weed-induced mellow and years of personal experience, Trevor was still proud of the destruction they’d just wreaked on the dressing room. Beer bottles on every surface. Foil wrappers wherever they’d been tossed. Towels draped over the beer bottles, under the bottles, in one case even wrapped around the base of a bottle, anchoring it upright. Potato chip crumbs — among other things — ground into the carpet. Food everywhere. The couch washed down with shaken-up soda and beer, and people still dumb enough to try to sit on it. Garbage cans overturned; at one point, Mitchell had been wearing it instead of a lampshade, the wanker.

One rather enthused and satisfied girl had taken the squeeze mustard and written ShapeShifter on the wall behind the disaster that the catering table had become. All the food had either been knocked over, pushed aside, rescued by a frantic local roadie or two — Trevor hadn’t bothered to watch — or relocated; it didn’t matter. It wasn’t the lovely little display of tempting usualness it’d been when they’d arrived.

Two girls had decided to see if sliced salami would stick to the wall if they threw it just right. Intriguingly, a couple actually had. A bunch had made contact but then slid down the wall, leaving a lovely grease trail in their wake. The rest made a path — like stepping stones, Trev thought with a snicker — across the room. One or two had been trampled on; a brunette had slipped and fallen on her ass, then limped out. She’d looked more in pain than upset that her party with ShapeShifter had ended so soon.

Trevor didn’t doubt that he’d been the only one who’d noticed her leaving. He also didn’t doubt that he’d laughed the hardest at her fall. Her arms had flailed, her eyes had gone huge, but she’d let out this kittenish, barely audible scream. It hadn’t fit the picture. Pretty fucking cool.

“Come on,” Charlie, their tour manager said, tugging on Trevor’s arm as if he was the one who’d be able to get everyone to leave. “Party’s over. We need to get out of here.”

Trevor pulled his arm free. The guy wasn’t entirely sober, himself. Settlement must not have taken long — although who the hell knew what would happen once the disaster of the dressing room was noticed.

Charlie burped a beery-reeking gasball, giving Trev the feeling that he was the only sober one in the room. For a change. If it weren’t for weed this good, he’d have hated the fact that he was afraid to drink.

“The party’s not over,” he told Charlie.

“The party’s not over?”

Trevor gave him a blessedly stoned, placid look. He stopped himself from folding his hands over his belly. “The party can’t be over until the fat lady sings and if you look around, all the fatties showed sense and left already. No fat girl sings, no party ends.” He nodded. It really was pretty simple.

“We’ve got to clear out,” the tour manager whined.

Trevor curled his lip at the guy. “So clear the fuck out. But in the meantime, we have a party to finish up.” He nodded at the rest of the band. “They’re still standing. There’s still a few girls here. Party’s not over.”

“Move it back to the hotel,” Charlie called, raising his voice to be heard over the drunken slurring that passed for chatter. Even if most of it was directions about what felt good and the slurping of deep kisses.

When no one gave any sign of hearing, he turned the radio off. “Move it back to the hotel,” Charlie repeated.

The guys looked around their girls at each other and shrugged. One spot was as good as another. So long as there was beer, they’d be happy. Besides, there were beds in hotels. That meant less complaints about sore knees and backs and other body parts.

Maybe.

Trevor wondered if there’d be any fat chicks at the hotel they could pick up. And if there were, what would it take to get them to sing?

 

I’ve got a ton of stuff to share with you, but the apparent demise — and, as of Friday night (that’s now), the apparent rescue — of Thursday Thirteen has inspired Trevor to speak up.

I’m busy making sure I’m channelling my favorite bass player properly, so I hope to post it tomorrow (that’d be Saturday).

Warning: Trevor’s cranky, the band’s drunk, and this upcoming outtake is rated PG-13 for language and references to sexual activity. Not to mention people who are drunk and stoned. But what else do you expect when a rock band made up of guys in their early twenties throws a party?

One last note: Apologies to those of you trying to access the website today or get mail to me. We switched DSL providers and … they screwed up. If you haven’t heard back from me, please try again.

 
Thirteen Things about Why The End Sucks

1. I have a million TTs written up that I’ll never be able to use.

2. My Technorati ranking will plummet.

3. I’ll miss my weekly visits with all of you at your blogs.

4. In seventeen weeks, I’ve built my week around this and it’ll be like when a kid loses a tooth and can’t keep his tongue out of the hole.

5. When LeeAnn said she was going to institute changes, I was excited because I didn’t think she meant this.

6. This was FUN, period. The only meme I participated in, and I love it.

7. I won’t get to meet cool new people each week.

8. Doing TTs about my fictional characters helped me grow them and round them out, making my fiction better.

9. I’ll probably forget to send LeeAnn a free copy of Trevor’s Song, whenever it comes out, because she won’t be foremost in my mind anymore.

10. I found that you guys, my readers, inspire me to greater and greater heights. I love that. You’ve helped me broaden my world and I hope you’ll keep on doing so.

11. I hate crying, and this has me crying.

12. Change is good. Change is good. Maybe if I say it enough, I’ll believe it. (Nah)

13. I HATE GOODBYES!!!!

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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