West of Mars

While we were busy with the Debut a Debut contest, I snuck in a debut, too, albeit an older one. Joshua Braff’s The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green is a book I’d wanted to read since I first heard about it and come on, how can your resist a book whose cover copy talks about a drawing of a rabbi, a pig, and a lobster in a threesome?

My book club agreed to this adventure, I collected a few copies — because getting books is sometimes a pain — and we read Jacob’s story.

The book is billed as a modern-day Portnoy’s complaint and I was expecting Jacob to be similar to Portnoy in that his teenagered sexual awakening dominated things. Nope. Instead, this book is about Jacob’s relationships with his father and, ultimately, with his brother. And while absolutely nothing in my background is similar to Jacob’s — well, okay, we’ve got that religion thing going — I got this book so totally, I cried through the final confrontation scene.

As for the ending, I got that, too.

This is one of those don’t miss books. You can be sure I’ll be picking up copies at used book stores and sales and sharing them with you guys. Assuming you wisely decide you can’t wait that long.

Just be prepared: the rabbi, the lobster, and the pig aren’t the major players you sort of wish they’d be. Sadly.

Despite his weed-induced mellow and years of personal experience, Trevor was still proud of the destruction they’d just wreaked on the dressing room. Beer bottles on every surface. Foil wrappers wherever they’d been tossed. Towels draped over the beer bottles, under the bottles, in one case even wrapped around the base of a bottle, anchoring it upright. Potato chip crumbs — among other things — ground into the carpet. Food everywhere. The couch washed down with shaken-up soda and beer, and people still dumb enough to try to sit on it. Garbage cans overturned; at one point, Mitchell had been wearing it instead of a lampshade, the wanker.

One rather enthused and satisfied girl had taken the squeeze mustard and written ShapeShifter on the wall behind the disaster that the catering table had become. All the food had either been knocked over, pushed aside, rescued by a frantic local roadie or two — Trevor hadn’t bothered to watch — or relocated; it didn’t matter. It wasn’t the lovely little display of tempting usualness it’d been when they’d arrived.

Two girls had decided to see if sliced salami would stick to the wall if they threw it just right. Intriguingly, a couple actually had. A bunch had made contact but then slid down the wall, leaving a lovely grease trail in their wake. The rest made a path — like stepping stones, Trev thought with a snicker — across the room. One or two had been trampled on; a brunette had slipped and fallen on her ass, then limped out. She’d looked more in pain than upset that her party with ShapeShifter had ended so soon.

Trevor didn’t doubt that he’d been the only one who’d noticed her leaving. He also didn’t doubt that he’d laughed the hardest at her fall. Her arms had flailed, her eyes had gone huge, but she’d let out this kittenish, barely audible scream. It hadn’t fit the picture. Pretty fucking cool.

“Come on,” Charlie, their tour manager said, tugging on Trevor’s arm as if he was the one who’d be able to get everyone to leave. “Party’s over. We need to get out of here.”

Trevor pulled his arm free. The guy wasn’t entirely sober, himself. Settlement must not have taken long — although who the hell knew what would happen once the disaster of the dressing room was noticed.

Charlie burped a beery-reeking gasball, giving Trev the feeling that he was the only sober one in the room. For a change. If it weren’t for weed this good, he’d have hated the fact that he was afraid to drink.

“The party’s not over,” he told Charlie.

“The party’s not over?”

Trevor gave him a blessedly stoned, placid look. He stopped himself from folding his hands over his belly. “The party can’t be over until the fat lady sings and if you look around, all the fatties showed sense and left already. No fat girl sings, no party ends.” He nodded. It really was pretty simple.

“We’ve got to clear out,” the tour manager whined.

Trevor curled his lip at the guy. “So clear the fuck out. But in the meantime, we have a party to finish up.” He nodded at the rest of the band. “They’re still standing. There’s still a few girls here. Party’s not over.”

“Move it back to the hotel,” Charlie called, raising his voice to be heard over the drunken slurring that passed for chatter. Even if most of it was directions about what felt good and the slurping of deep kisses.

When no one gave any sign of hearing, he turned the radio off. “Move it back to the hotel,” Charlie repeated.

The guys looked around their girls at each other and shrugged. One spot was as good as another. So long as there was beer, they’d be happy. Besides, there were beds in hotels. That meant less complaints about sore knees and backs and other body parts.

Maybe.

Trevor wondered if there’d be any fat chicks at the hotel they could pick up. And if there were, what would it take to get them to sing?

I’ve got a ton of stuff to share with you, but the apparent demise — and, as of Friday night (that’s now), the apparent rescue — of Thursday Thirteen has inspired Trevor to speak up.

I’m busy making sure I’m channelling my favorite bass player properly, so I hope to post it tomorrow (that’d be Saturday).

Warning: Trevor’s cranky, the band’s drunk, and this upcoming outtake is rated PG-13 for language and references to sexual activity. Not to mention people who are drunk and stoned. But what else do you expect when a rock band made up of guys in their early twenties throws a party?

One last note: Apologies to those of you trying to access the website today or get mail to me. We switched DSL providers and … they screwed up. If you haven’t heard back from me, please try again.

First off, congratulations to everyone who played along, thought about playing along, or tried but got derailed (Cheesy, I still love you!). I’d have to say our first Debut a Debut contest was a smashing success.

So. Without further ado, here are the winners and their prizes.

Janelle — 5 points from BookMooch.com

Little bird blue — $20.00 gift card from Borders

cherie pie — Tina Bendoni’s Argus: In Dreams

Karen — Suzanne Adair’s Paper Woman and Sela Carsen’s Not Quite Dead

Andrew — Shane Gericke’s pack, including Blown Away, his debut

world in a satin bag — Racy Li’s Ninja

Confessions of a literary persuasion — Lila Shaara’s audio of Every Secret Thing

breeni — Sela Carsen’s The Virgin Courtesan

mark baker — Lila Shaara’s Every Secret Thing (hardcover)

sahbu — Thomma Lyn’s Thy Eternal Summer

she — $20.00 Border’s gift certificate & Rhonda Stapleton’s Stripped

megan — Dawno’s You Pick

prester john — Michael FitzGerald’s Radiant Days

scooper — Matt Curran’s The Secret War

la lady lisa westerfield — RG Willems’s Targets of Affection

A few last housekeeping notes…
1. I’ll keep the list of suggested authors and the prize list up at my main website. Hope you’ll refer to it often and find yourself some good books.

2. Erica posted a great interview with Joshua Palmatier at Writing Aspirations. We’re talking to Joshua about having him be involved in our summer contest, so the next few months would be an excellent time to pick up his first — and second! — book, The Skewed Throne and The Cracked Throne.

3. You may be looking at the fact that prolific reviewer Antheras only won five points from BookMooch and wondering what’s up with that. That’s because she refused anything more and will be joining the Debut a Debut team. Thanks to Janelle for doing that; with her knowledge, Debut a Debut (and our upcoming summer contest) will get bigger and better. You cool people will be able to say you knew us when!!

4. Lastly, thanks to all of you who were part of this in any way, large or small. We hope you’ll keep spreading the word of the joint West of Mars and Writing Aspirations contests; there WILL be more (did I say summer contest?), so check in at our blogs for updates about all of that.

In the meantime, enjoy the fun stuff that Erica and I bring you on a semi-daily basis. We appreciate the fact that you guys are our readers. We hope we’ve exposed you to new bloggers and book reviewers and more neat sites for us bibliophiles (didn’t know your favorite metal head knew those big words, huh?), and we hope you’ll make at least some of them new favorites. Just… don’t forget us. We’ll miss you.

I’m out of here for the night… off to my couch and what else but a good book!

So, today’s the last day you can submit your review for the Debut a Debut contest. I have to admit that I’m sad about this. It’s been great fun, seeing what’s out there, reading the reviews you guys have chosen to write. (see the list of entrants)

And, of course, I’ve learned a lot. I have a habit of doing this, of learning a lot. It’s a good habit to have. Karen has learned a lot, too. She says it very eloquently, in fact. If you don’t already spend time there, you should.

Erica and I will pop up on President’s Day with the list of winners. I wish you guys could all win and who knows, maybe you can. But definitely check back; we’ll do a summer contest, and bring Debut a Debut back this time next year.

As always, if you read anything great, tell us about it. I can’t speak for Erica, but I read about 12 books a month (that number includes the ones I give up on). I’m always happy to hear of good reads.

And if you’re an author, stay tuned. I’d love to help bring your books to a wider audience; no need to wait for the major contests for that.

One last note for you West of Mars regulars: I’ve got a new character to introduce you to. Stay tuned.

After finding my groove yesterday for the first time in what felt like forever, I wrote six or seven pages of the WIP, which I’m thinking will be the follow-up to Trevor’s Song. Although it’s nothing like what I used to be able to do in the days before small distractions who like to call me such odd things as “Mom,” it felt good.

I finally shut the computer in time to pick up a book and wait for James to win Best in Show at Westminster. I’ll have to rave about this book once Debut a Debut is over (why haven’t you entered yet?), but for now, let’s just say that its sensibility is so similar to Trevor’s that I’ve embarked on an information-gathering expedition about the author’s agent. Interesting that the books I’ve been encountering lately that seem to mesh with Trevor are all represented by agents who do a lot, if not all, YA lit. What does that say about literature right now?

What does that say about my getting Trevor’s Song into print?

All right, gang. It’s that time at last. Time to send in your entries to the Debut a Debut contest.

Send them to me or Erica and we’ll post ‘em and announce the prizes on the 19th of this month. Watch this space for updates — and don’t be shy; take the plunge and check out some of these great books!

Details on the summer contest coming up soon… again, we’ll be trying to point you guys to authors you may never have heard of before — but should!

Contest entrants:
Nimrodiel reviewing The Last Templar, by Raymond Khoury.

Andrew with The Skewed Throne, by Joshua Palmatier.

Janelle with The Friday Night Knitting Club, by Kate Jacobs.

Janelle with Was She Pretty, by Leanne Shapton.

Karen with The Interpretation of Murder, by Jed Rubenfeld

Camille with Firmin, by Sam Shepard.

Cherie with The Rest Falls Away: The Gardella Vampire Chronicles Book 1, by Colleen Gleason

Janelle with Special Topics in Calamity Physics by Marisha Pessl

Shaun with Tower of Shadows by Drew Bowling.

Breeni with Speak Right On: Dred Scott a Novel, by Mary E. Neighbour

Candice with Nightmare in Laos by Kay Danes

Karen! with Kabbalah: A Love Story, by Lawrence Kushner.

Janelle with And Only to Deceive, by Tasha Alexander

Mark with Death on the Flop, by Jackie Chance

Mark with A Killer Collected, by Jennifer Stanley

Karen with Torch, by Cheryl Strayed

Scooper with The Rest Falls Away, by Colleen Gleason

Prester John with Rumble on the Bayou, by Jana DeLeon

She with Don’t Be Afraid, by Rebecca Drake

Lady Lisa Westerfield with And Only to Deceive, by Tasha Alexander

Karen with Jade Tiger, by Jenn Reese

Janelle with The Glass Books of the Dream Eaters, by Gordon Dahlquist

Yourotherleft with Disobedience, by Naomi Alderman”>Debut a Debut contest.

Send them to me or Erica and we’ll post ‘em and announce the prizes on the 19th of this month. Watch this space for updates — and don’t be shy; take the plunge and check out some of these great books!

Details on the summer contest coming up soon… again, we’ll be trying to point you guys to authors you may never have heard of before — but should!

Contest entrants:
Nimrodiel reviewing The Last Templar, by Raymond Khoury.

Andrew with The Skewed Throne, by Joshua Palmatier.

Janelle with The Friday Night Knitting Club, by Kate Jacobs.

Janelle with Was She Pretty, by Leanne Shapton.

Karen with The Interpretation of Murder, by Jed Rubenfeld

Camille with Firmin, by Sam Shepard.

Cherie with The Rest Falls Away: The Gardella Vampire Chronicles Book 1, by Colleen Gleason

Janelle with Special Topics in Calamity Physics by Marisha Pessl

Shaun with Tower of Shadows by Drew Bowling.

Breeni with Speak Right On: Dred Scott a Novel, by Mary E. Neighbour

Candice with Nightmare in Laos by Kay Danes

Karen! with Kabbalah: A Love Story, by Lawrence Kushner.

Janelle with And Only to Deceive, by Tasha Alexander

Mark with Death on the Flop, by Jackie Chance

Mark with A Killer Collected, by Jennifer Stanley

Karen with Torch, by Cheryl Strayed

Scooper with The Rest Falls Away, by Colleen Gleason

Prester John with Rumble on the Bayou, by Jana DeLeon

She with Don’t Be Afraid, by Rebecca Drake

Lady Lisa Westerfield with And Only to Deceive, by Tasha Alexander

Karen with Jade Tiger, by Jenn Reese

Janelle with The Glass Books of the Dream Eaters, by Gordon Dahlquist

Yourotherleft with Disobedience, by Naomi Alderman