West of Mars

Even before ShapeShifter was a household name, like they are during Trevor’s Song, Mitchell and Trevor knew how to rule the world in their own style.

To wit, the band’s first Halloween. They were booked to play the Halloween Party at All Access (their first time there!), opening for two other more established local acts (both of whom broke up before the end of the year.) — there were two sets: one for the Under 21 crowd and one for the Over 21 crowd, which was when the cops were generally expected. This was, after all, the annual Halloween Party at All Access.

That meant no trick-or-treating for the ShapeShifter boys who, in their late teens, were too cool to go out but who still wanted some free chocolate. Especially Daniel, whose grandmother had taken to denying him candy in the hopes of clearing up the drummer’s acne, which wasn’t that bad, but we all know how grandmothers dote on their grandkids.

The young band came up with an idea: Drop candy into the bags held by Mitchell’s sisters or Eric’s brother Jared and get entered into a drawing for free ShapeShifter stuff. Demos, t-shirts, and the brand new patches for your jackets and vests.

Free stuff! How could the crowd refuse?

Here is what the band managed to collect:
1. 150 Peanut Butter Cups, in varying shapes, sizes, and manufacturers.

2. 300 Tootsie Rolls.

3. 50 lollipops.

4. Four lollipop rings.

5. Too many packages of Smarties to count. This was a particularly nice haul, as Eric has a serious addiction to them.

6. Two packages of brand-new rolling paper. Trevor considered these better than candy.

7. Three jellybeans, possibly left over from someone’s Easter basket.

8. An entire, unopened package of Hershey’s miniatures.

9. A complete set of brand new guitar strings, of a finer variety than Mitchell or Eric were currently using.

10. 35 Almond Joys.

11. 100 Kit Kats, possibly donated by someone dressed up as a lion.

12. Four sets of gummy eyeballs.

13. Ten packages of Fun Dip.

The fires in Southern California have been on my mind quite a bit lately. I’ve got family out there, friends, and people with whom I’ve fallen out of touch — but not out of thoughts.

Kermit Ladd wanted to talk to the boys about something serious for a change. He posed this question to the band: If these fires were to ravage Riverview, what would you risk your life to save?

1. Mitchell: My guitars. I’ve got a few that’re worth tons. I couldn’t leave without them.
Kerri: Not that you can be without a guitar in your hand for more than twenty minutes before you get twitchy.
Mitchell smiles guiltily.

2. Trevor: I’d want my bass with the cracked neck, the one M taught me how to play on. And my bike. I rebuilt that fucker from the ground up. I’m taking it to the fucking grave with me.
Kerri: It’ll be a big chunk of land, Trev. You and a motorcycle.
Trevor: Good. Plant some trees. If they burn, plant more.
Eric: Part of the reason so many homes are burning is because people are planting too much in a desert.
Trevor: Don’t fucking bury me in a desert, okay? I fucking hate deserts.
Eric: So do many of the people who live in them.

3. Mitchell: Eric? You’re the more serious guitar collector. Which would you save?
Eric: The important things are family. So long as I have that, the guitars can burn.
Mitchell winces.

4. Kerri: I have a few paintings I’d want to save. Like the first one I did of you, M.
Mitchell: And the one of us in the bathroom.
Trevor: That’s you two?
Kerri: Who’d you think it was?
Mitchell: Of course it’s us. I’m not letting Kerri paint any pictures of couples making love like that unless it’s us.

5. Daniel: I talked to Gecko, from Deadly Metal Hatchet the other night. He said Fozzy’s taking the Hatchet out there so it can cut down brush and try to help.

6. Mitchell: What’re you going to save?
Daniel: Val’s cookbooks. That way, we can help by making gourmet meals for people stuck living in trailers and shelters and stuff. At least, that’s what she says. I don’t know how she’ll pull it off, though.

7. Eric: There are lots of ways to help. I’m not sure that’ll be so easy, either.
Daniel shrugs and says: Maybe, but at least it’s doing something. Some of those people are our fans.

8. Mitchell: Maybe we’ll figure out a way to get t-shirts to anyone who lost their home. It’s not much, but at least they’ll have something clean to wear.

9. Eric: You’ll notice none of us thought about saving our clothes.

10. Mitchell: Makes you wonder how many who had to run thought about it, too.

11. Kerri: I don’t know that I would. I think I’d be too busy trying to figure out how to save the painting of you guys that’s on the wall in the trophy room.
Mitchell: I think that one’s a goner, babe.
Kerri shudders.

12. Eric: It really makes you think. Appreciate.

13. Daniel: It sure does. Kermit, you’re going to donate your payment for this article to the relief effort, right?