Byline: Chelle LaFleur — Behold Me

Now, if you know Chelle LaFleur like you supposed to know Chelle LaFleur, you know all too well what sort of ShapeShifter fan I am. I am sayin’ right here and now that I could go head to head with any other ShapeShifter fan out there and beat ’em when it comes to trivia. And that any other fan bit? It includes their own Mommas and Poppas. Maybe even the boys, themselves.

So I don’t know what local townie Bradley thinks he’s doin’. Oh, no, not the gettin’ married part. That’s the part that makes sense. So do all the wedding plans, with the flowers and the cake and fire hall and the decorations and all that.

Where it all falls apart is where he looks at me and says, “Hey, Chelle, what do you think about us using Behold Me as our first dance song?”

Okay, now. No one’s exactly lining up to marry ol’ Chelle’s fat self here, so maybe I’m a little bit out of touch with what’s hot in the world of weddin’s these days. Maybe I am. I’ll say that up front. But last time I checked, you was supposed to pick a slow song, something that gives a man and a woman reason to snuggle up in each others’ arms while everyone watches and coos about how cute you are. Behold Me is no slow song. So Bradley, what’s your plan, boy? You and your beautiful bride gonna hold hands and lead the head banging? You really think Great-Grandma’s gonna get what you two be doin’? Won’t she fall out of her wheelchair if she tries to follow along?

Now, Chelle here sees another problem entirely with this plan of Bradley’s. And that problem’s the meanin’ of the song. Behold Me isn’t some sappy plea from the outcast high school girl who wants to get herself noticed by the quarterback. Oh, no, sir-ree. Behold Me‘s about more substantial stuff.

Just to make sure Chelle was hearin’ things right, I went right to the source. My main man, Mitchell Voss.

Now, you all know about Mitchell Voss. They call him a dragon, and for good reason. So Chelle here wasn’t exactly expectin’ to hear laughter when she told Voss what was up.

“They want to what?” he asked and nope, there weren’t no laughin’ going on. At least, I don’t think that noise was laughin’. Count me in that group who thinks that boy don’t know how to laugh.

I told that handsome man I was callin’ him to see if the song’s about what I’m thinkin’ it’s about. And like I said, ol’ Chelle may be fat and slow, but no one knows ShapeShifter better.

“Behold Me is a song about a homeless guy who wants to be noticed and seen. Maybe helped,” Voss said. “There’s nothing romantic about it. I mean, s—, this is ShapeShifter we’re talking about. We don’t do romance.

“On the other hand,” he said, “more power to this couple if the song holds that much meaning for them. Maybe one of them was homeless. Who knows? It’s not the song I’d pick and no, Chelle, don’t ask. I’m not telling you a damn thing about my life.”

Boys and girls, lemme tell you somethin’. When Mitchell Voss married that pretty little artist of his, do you know who the first media person he called was? Do you know how many dreams of Chelle LaFleur’s got trashed with that phone call to that first rock reporter? And that boy thinks he ain’t gonna tell me a “damn thing” about his life?

Seems that Bradley’s pulling a Mitchell Voss on me, too. Chelle picked up the phone and tracked that boy down, but if he knows why he and his lady picked Behold Me for their first dance, he ain’t sayin’. Whatever.

You heard it first and you heard it here, right outta the horse’s lips. Behold Me‘s a song about homeless people, not the adorin’ gaze of lust.

Once again this week, I had a million ideas when I saw this week’s Sunday Scribblings prompt: wedding. I thought of letting Pam dream about her wedding to Mitchell. Lyric was going to put together special wedding baskets in the store. I even played with ideas for Roadie Poet and Deadly Metal Hatchet.

In the end this won. Hope you like.

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For more Mitchell, use this link.

For more ShapeShifter, use this link.