Yesterday found me in The Land of Cleves for a family event. It was lovely (but worth the hip pain from the contortionist sitting I wound up doing in the car? Nothing ever is.) and I’m glad I went.

Today finds me in another place I’m always glad to visit, albeit sometimes through my reader. My old BookCrossing friend Florinda discovered the Meet and Greet awhile ago and it’s been a pleasure to reconnect with this thoughtful, thought-provoking lady. Go check out what sort of thoughts she provoked in me this time. They mean as much as yesterday’s trip (minus the hip pain).

Here’s the handy-dandy link for easy visiting.

If last week’s stress and feelings of crisis weren’t enough, I slept funny last night (probably ’cause there was a cat pressed up against my legs) and now my back is screaming bloody murder at me in six different languages.

Thus, an Easy Thursday Thirteen this week. Yep, things that are easy for our favorite fictional bass player, Trevor Wolff.

1. ShapeShifter’s bass lines.
2. Most girls Trevor picks up.
3. Trevor.
4. Having dinner at Daniel and Val’s.
5. Spending the afternoon in Daniel and Val’s pool instead of practicing.
6. Sound check, especially now that the roadies and techs handle it.
7. Providing the peanut gallery while Mitchell gives an interview.
8. Prodding Eric to make some spiritual comment.
9. Provoking Mitchell to hand out a few swipes to the back of the head is VERY easy.
10. Breakfast. The best meal of the day. Especially at those free hotel buffets.
11. Getting dressed. It’s particularly easy when you never bother to button your shirt.
12. Being on tour. It’s easy ’cause everyone takes care of you.
13. Being part of the Voss family. But then, anything’s easy compared to where Trevor originally came from.

What? You’re not familiar with the indomitable Trevor Wolff??? Where have you been?

And don’t forget to check out the other cool Thursday 13ers! It’s getting bigger and better every week. Don’t miss out on the rebirth of the best meme out there.

Yeah, I’d say butterflies and thanks go well together. Both are so very pleasant to have around.

Especially when they are yet more blog awards! Holy smoke, you guys love me! Or else you save me to scrape the bottom of the barrel with. But either way, I’ll take it. Being thought of is being thought of, no matter when or how it happens.

On to the butterfly. Sheesh. Between the last post and now this one from my good friend Shaunie, I think I’ve got enough to start a butterfly garden. Which is fine by me.

Look. I’m going to be daring and let the Tour Manager post a picture of me! Or, more appropriately, my back. Yep, that’s a butterfly on there. This was almost two years ago, when we went up to Niagara Falls.

I was getting ready to post this when Toni at A Circle of Books gave the Proximidade Award to me and the gang at Win a Book. She calls us a friend to all. That made me feel good on many levels, the least of which is that bringing books and readers together has always been important to me.

If one Toni in my life wasn’t enough, my friend Toni at It is Naptime gave me the Thank You! You are the Best! graphic. I’d like to say that about her, to be honest. She’s warm and friendly and one of these days, I’ll get my act together and join her way cool Meet My Friends Monday meme (although it’ll mean missing the Poetry Train). I like this meme ’cause it’s manageable: only one new person to meet and check out.

Speaking of new friends to check out, I’ve met two who I want to tell you about. First is Jannie Funster. I believe Thomma Lyn got us together, but I’ve been so overloaded of late, I can’t recall. It doesn’t matter; we’ve found each other and so far, I’m digging the ride.

Then there’s Lindsay. How can *I* not like someone who is the Rock and Roll Mama??? HUH??? I ask you this. This friendship is even younger than Jannie’s is, but so far, it’s equally as cool and gratifying.

So go say hello. Call it a Meet My Friends… whatever day it is when this gets posted ’cause I gotta save it so the Tour Manager can pretty it up with the awards and the picture of me. Maybe I’ll be slick enough to post it on a Monday. What do you think?

To say this week has been a nightmare is complimenting the dark forces that produce nightmares.

Don’t ask.

Instead, let’s dwell on the happy stuff. Like three new reviews of The Demo Tapes: Year 1.

Here they are:
Shaunie’s Happy Place
A Piece of My Mind
She is Too Fond of Books

And an interview!

Dawn at She is Too Fond of Books and I had a good time together. She even brought up a few details that don’t get a lot of notice. Be sure to check it out.

So now, you need to know what’s up. What’s the fuss about. Dawn, once again, is on top of it, with a giveaway of The Demo Tapes. I’ve got a copy earmarked just for the winner and will autograph it, so if you want to give a copy to a friend, if you need a second copy of your own, or if — horrors! — you haven’t picked up your own yet… it doesn’t matter. Head on over to Dawn’s and enter for your chance to win my book.

Lots more to come; I need to distract myself from real life. Again. I swear, it’s a perpetual thing. No wonder I write so much fiction. I’d have been committed long ago without it.

It’s been a rough, stressful week, so when I paused before pulling a blind closed last night, it was nice to be able to steal a minute to savor the clear, black sky and the two glistening planets that were visible.

I decided to fill in the blank this week and focus on lovely thoughts for my Thursday Thirteen. Some are real memories, some are fictional; some are real yearnings, some are fictional. I’ll leave it to you to decide which is which, but don’t expect me to set you straight. It’s better when you don’t know.

On a night like this…
1. I wish for a big picture window and a room with nothing in it but a bed. A bed I can move to the perfect spot for making love in the moonlight.

2. I look up and wonder what’s out there. Anyone? Anything more than big hunks of rock and gas that we call planets and stars?

3. I feel a strange yearning for a brightly-lit stage, an enthusiastic audience, and that high you get after a job well-done.

4. I yearn for a cold beer and a quiet, dark back deck. Mosquito-free, please.

5. I remember a summer night spent sitting on the hoods of our cars after a hockey game, the heat and humidity feeling good on our ice-chilled, sweat drenched bodies as we talked until the pre-programmed lights shut off and security gave us funny looks.

6. I wish for a better telescope and the knowledge to use it properly.

7. I think of the times the Tour Manager has offered me his arm, knowing the consequences if I slip on ice.

8. I remember nights on a homemade ice skating rink.

9. I remember hanging outside a tour bus, chatting with the guys in the band. About everything. About nothing.

10. I think about how when I walk out of certain places, the first thing I do is turn my face to the sun. Like being indoors made me need the sun. And now, I need the moon and the stars the same way.

11. I remember pulling over to the side of the road at 3AM or thereabouts, and all of us piling out of two institution-issued minivans to look at the stars. It was my first glimpse of the Milky Way.

12. I remember seeing wolves in the wild and the emotions they conjured.

13. I think of the sunsets I’ve taken the time to savor and store away for dark nights like this, when the planets are bright enough to burst through the suburban light pollution and the night is darker than the darkest nightmare yet it’s not scary. It’s friendly, somehow, giving hope for a better day ahead.

Happy Thursday Thirteen, all.

Okay, Thirteening is, sadly, not the phenomenon it used to be. I miss that.

But if you need a break, or just something interesting to check out, go on back to Anna’s place. Yesterday, you’ll recall, she posted her review of The Demo Tapes: Year 1.

Today, she’s talking to some weird chick you might have known. Funny how it’s the same weirdo who shows up from time to time in my kids’ classes at school. Someone really ought to lock that woman up and throw away the key…

Susan Gives an Interview.

I was thinking up all sorts of cool Thirteens to do today as I was driving to the salon to spend some time with my favorite diva, but it’s what I found when I got home that swayed me to this particular idea.

I found it first in a Google alert, then in my inbox, and finally in my feed reader. (Or I will, once I get that far into the day’s feeds). IT is a review of The Demo Tapes, written by Anna at Diary of an Eccentric, and I’m over the moon about it. It was like I was reading about a favorite book, not MY book, if that makes sense.

It’s reviews like this that remind me why I do what I do. But there are oh, so many more reasons why…

1. In fiction, I can be anyone. I can have any job. I can explore the world.

2. Characters like Trevor have a way of seeing the world in a way that I don’t. More than once, I’ve been upset about something, only to wake up in the middle of the night hearing him voice the silver lining I hadn’t been able to see.

3. My characters make me laugh and I love to laugh.

4. I get to take stupid things and make magic out of them. Like Buying Chicken. Have you guys read this one? It’s in Demo Tapes: Year 1 if you missed it and want to see it all edited and made pretty.

5. I mean, c’mon. How many of us go to the grocery regularly? What’s fun about it after awhile? Yet Trevor finds a way. Trevor always finds a way.

6. Writing Mitchell and Kerri lets my romantic side, buried under my daily deluge of heavy metal and real life, out. If you missed The Art Book earlier this month, here you go.

7. Many writers will tell you this: writing restores my equilibrium. With the new research into ADD and how it affects girls, if I was a child, I’d be medicated to the gills. Instead, I get to sit and write and feel at peace. Or bitchy, if I’m working on a fight scene.

8. Because I have both my BA and MFA in English writing of some sort (My BA also includes journalism and PR as well as fiction; my MFA is only in creative writing. Only!), if I ever have to find a job, I think “Do you want fries with that?” will become my catchphrase. Despite the journalistic training, I just don’t have the interest to follow up on that. Besides, if you think the state of publishing is bad these days, you should look at newspapers!

9. I do this because everyone says to do what you love and the money will follow. Let me tell you, there is some VERY SLOW money following me. Yes, The Demo Tapes have turned a profit, but I quickly turned that back into the cause.

10. It’s not just writing that I love. It’s books. It’s reading. That’s why I started my Win a Book blog. It’s about sharing that love — and being the change I want to see. I want readers to hear about authors other than the usual suspects. So many really good writers are being told that their sales aren’t high enough for a publisher to support their career anymore. Too many authors are hearing this news. Hopefully, I can help be an agent of change for some of them.

11. The publishing industry is changing by the hour, it sometimes feels like. But one thing that will never change is that readers want to read and writers need to write. That relationship will always continue, no matter what.

12. I love to create, and nothing I’ve tried does it for me. I’m a sucky musician. (There IS a reason why you never get to read ShapeShifter lyrics!) My drawings are often confused for something my kids produced. The one time I tried to knit, my toes wound up as part of the scarf. In other words: I’m useless at anything but this.

13. What I’m trying to say already is that this is who I am. It’s what I do. There are days when it’s hard, when I want to walk away and close down this blog and throw any copies of The Demo Tapes into the recycling… but that’s because I’m human. I need reminders like comments from you guys — and reviews like Anna’s to remind me exactly why I do what I do.

I do it ’cause this is who I am.

Thanks for letting me be myself.

Probably one of the best parts of this whole Do It Yourself thing is that I can take my time with soliciting reviews — and that a lot of you guys pop up and post reviews without any nudging from me. (Feel free to add your reviews to Amazon, Lulu (if you bought the book there), or any of the social book sites like GoodReads!)

Like my friend L^2. Have you met her yet? You should; she writes one of my favorite blogs, one I don’t comment on nearly enough anymore. If you use this link and check out her review of The Demo Tapes: Year 1, you’ll see why as soon as the page loads. Visuals, folks. Visuals. Trevor’s gone to the dogs!

And then there’s my friend CandieB. I wish I was a big enough enterprise to need her accounting skills, but then there’s that old adage about not mixing business with friendship. It didn’t stop her from raving about The Demo Tapes, though. Read what she has to say here.

One thing that’s been unanimous so far is the opinion that The Demo Tapes help make the outtakes I post here on the blog make better sense. A lot of you have commented that the timeline I’ve organized the pieces into gives you a much better, deeper appreciation of the guys and their personalities — and their relationships.

That’s why I’m eager to hear what my book club thinks of the book. As our meeting was winding down last week, one of the ladies leaned over and picked a copy of The Demo Tapes out of the cute little WWF bag I keep (and carry them around) in. That started a run on things and before I knew it, I’d sold four copies — and autographed them all. These women don’t read my blog unless I send them a link (which I usually only do when I’m blogging about a book we’ve read). So to hear what they’ll think… I’m eager.

After all, they can’t say anything more confounding or demoralizing than my mom did when she said, “I think I liked the introductions to each piece the best. They are so succinct, so warm.”

Gee, Mom. Thanks. Just what are you trying to tell me, there?

*sigh*

Anyway, check out the reviews. Let me know if you’ve posted any I haven’t seen yet, so I can add them to the cool reviews page I made. And if you’d like a closer gander at this book, use this link.

Last year at Valentine’s Day, I talked about why our favorite fictional band, ShapeShifter, doesn’t write love songs. If you missed it, or just would like to remember, visit it here.

Once again, Valentine’s Day is on my mind. This year, I thought I’d focus on the gifts that ShapeShifter fans have given the guys over the years. Now, I’m not talking about the bras that grace the famous Wall of Fame. Nor am I talking about the panties that are flung at the stage or tucked into a jeans pocket.

Nope, I’m talking about the things that have real meaning to the fans. Things they have to share.

Things like…
1. The matching plaid flannel boxers each band member was given one cold December night.

2. The scarf knitted by a woman who worked for the band’s record label. It was an odd color, with enough black and grey to make Mitchell happy but with enough green, Louise said, to bring the green out of his hazel eyes. He wore it for a long time, until it disappeared. He tore apart the band’s dressing room. He tore apart the band’s tour bus. He tore apart Trevor’s suitcases and bunk on the bus, but in the end, it was decided that it must have escaped with Mabel the tenth. If you know the fan who might have the scarf, please ask her to return it. She can keep Mabel, though.

3. One fan, knowing of Daniel’s love of current events, gave him a book. Not just any book, it was a history book. An alternative history book, which some people hold as the truth. It scared Daniel so badly, instead of keeping the bus awake with his snores, he kept them up with the screams from his nightmares — and then his need to talk through them, usually with Eric.

4. This band’s love for home-made baked goods (Key lime pie notwithstanding) is legendary. Some fans think home-made treats are a great way to show affection. Unfortunately, management is more worried about the few who’ll sneak something harmful into those cookies and brownies. The baked goods can’t be eaten.

5. Fans love to express their love for their favorite band member through drawings. Of their favorite band member. Which they give to that band member. According to Trevor, not even Mitchell is vain enough to hang them in his house.

6. Jewelry is a popular gift! While there’s the legend of the girl who removed Mitchell’s dragon earring with her teeth — and then kept it! — the part of that legend that’s not told is that it had been a gift from a fan. Earrings and rings with skulls and dragons are the most popular gifts, but there have been all sorts of things, including a dangly thing for Eric’s unpierced nipple, which was believed to have been pierced and ready for the dangly thing. Ever gracious, Eric said thanks and didn’t raise his shirt to show that nope, there were no piercings there.

7. A small stone bear fetish was once pressed into Eric’s hand, so quietly that he never saw who did it. It hung out on the band’s bus for the rest of the leg of the tour, then got lost during the week-long break before heading to Europe.

8. One guy brought his bass to give to Trevor, hoping it would help make him a better bassist. He wasn’t allowed inside with it, so he mailed it to the band’s manager, JR. It didn’t get any farther than that.

9. One guy gave Eric the knife he was going to use to slit his wrists with. He claimed ShapeShifter’s music saved him. While the band doesn’t doubt he feels that way, they also believe that the guy chose to save himself.

10. One clever girl brought Mitchell a new set of grill tools, including an apron and hot mitts. He shipped those home immediately.

11. The band lost track of who it was originally for, but when a ten-gallon hat was handed over during their first big tour of Texas, it got worn on stage that night. Then they left Texas and it wasn’t cool to wear anymore. It’s since vanished.

12. Girls like to hand over stuffed animals, especially bears, and ask that the guys sleep with them. They get donated to hospitals.

13. One quiet girl said nothing but handed each band member a red rose, solemnly. It was Valentine’s Day, and for once, our four favorite blockheads got it.

This is where I act like all the other bloggers and ask what item of meaning would YOU give to YOUR favorite musician. And, of course, who that musician is. But… since this is me, I’m simply inviting you to do what you want. Just remember, if you don’t leave a comment, I won’t know you stopped by, and I won’t be able to return the visit!

One of the reasons I took this leap of faith with The Demo Tapes was that I felt like I have a strong fan base. Every time you guys hand out blog awards my way, you reinforce that. And rather than rest on my laurels, I try that much harder to give you what you come here for — Trevor and excellence in general.

Here’s the latest round of proof that my efforts are appreciated. It got longer after I initially drafted this post; let me know if your eyes are as huge as mine after seeing this list!

First is the Kreativ Blogger Award, from Ruthie at Books Books Books. Okay, she gave it to me and the gang at Win a Book, but that’s okay. I’m the parent of that place as well as this one. Amberkatze realizes it, too.

Shaunie directed it at The Meet and Greet, though. Shaunie and I have been friends for a long time. We’ve even weathered an online fight, which few can say. In other words, her friendship has great meaning for me.

A lot of bloggers have special places in my heart (yeah, okay, that’s because not a lot of people in real life do), but few are like Robin, from Around the Island. An ex-pat living in Israel, with every post, she cuts through the stereotypes I’ve grown up with about the country and actually has me wanting to visit. Really visit, not take a religious pilgrimmage.

She’s given me the Honest Scrap award, which is an odd name, but there you go. Odd names are good, and you know? That might not make a bad band name…

Anyway, the Honest Scrap award asks you to list ten things about yourself. I’m quite sure that throughout this post, I’ve listed more than ten things. Trevor made you do it once, now it’s my turn: go on and count ’em up.

Back to business… the awesome J. Kaye, who has gone above and beyond for me lately, also gave me the Great Buddy Award. This is the first time I’ve seen this one; it has a lovely graphic on it.

Anna at Diary of an Eccentric must agree. She also handed me this award, and I’m flattered. We’ve been chatting via e-mail lately; it’s been a lot of fun to get to know her (among the many other book bloggers out there). I’ve also had fun sending her links to YouTube, and I’m actually behaving when I do this! I could be sending her Elmo and other annoyances, but instead, I’ve been sending her (and Serena, too) Apocalyptica clips. Because everyone needs some Burn.

Presenting Lenore, another awesome book blogger, created her own awards. Called the You Rock Presenting Lenore’s World Awards, she’s given Win a Book the Most Frequent Updates Award, along with J. Kaye. Well, Lenore, I’m trying! I still wish more book bloggers, authors, and publicists would take advantage (properly!) of what Win a Book is offering.

Janel, at Janel’s Jumble, thought this metal head needed some pink and purple in her life, so I’ve been handed the Butterfly Award. Is this where I say I have not one but TWO butterfly bushes in my back yard? I love the fragile little things that they attract.

My good friend Alice also gave me this award. If you haven’t seen her weekly Jack and Jill posts, you are missing one of my favorite Saturday posts. Every week, I sit in speechless admiration of how she’s taken the weekly Photo Hunt prompt and tied in a storyline with these two little people with blue hair. Check it out before you scoff.

I was floored to see Allykat, a fellow EntreCarder, hand me the Butterfly award. For one, Allykat’s a very devoutly religious person, and I always expect religious people to run away from Trevor and the gang (including me) in horror. Look at the language, the values these guys (don’t) uphold. They aren’t very Christian, which is fine since I’m not, either.

But it seems that Allykat’s not the only person whose mind is bigger than a real-life friend’s, who told me that she wouldn’t read my blog because it offended her. That’s probably where my sensitivity and false expectations came from, huh? So… Allykat, glad to have you here. I hope you’ll stick around and teach me more.

When life gives you lemons… Serena handed me the Lemonade Cart. She awarded it to the home base, West of Mars, and not to either blog. This is probably a good time to tell you that as soon as we finish getting all the kinks out here and fix the rest of the website, Win a Book will be moving to the West of Mars home, too.

Dar, at Peeking Between the Pages, sent another lemonade cart my way, naming BOTH blogs for it. I hope you guys aren’t suggesting a new career for me. Not with the Demo Tapes so newly released!

Anna, my favorite eccentric, blogs at Diary of an Eccentric. I mentioned her before; didja notice? She sent a third lemonade cart my way, also for both blogs. You guys rock; keeping up with Win a Book isn’t easy, but to keep up over here, too? You’re gems and I appreciate the attention.

A fourth lemonade cart is headed to Win a Book. It’s from A Blog of Books, and it’s much appreciated. I don’t know the good folk over there quite as well yet. YET. Did you catch that? The intent is there (oh, the intent is ALWAYS there! It’s the time that’s the problem).

Celtic Angel, one of the coolest people I met through the original Thursday Thirteen, sent the Your Blog is Fabulous badge my way. I’m trying, but Trevor’s in the background, nodding happily and saying, “Of course it is. It’s got me in it!” At times, I envy that boy’s easy cocky style. The worst part, for me as a person, is that everyone eats it up. When I get cocky in real life… people laugh.

Trevor likes threesomes, of course. Triplets, too. Me, I’m not telling except to say that I like THIS threesome. It’s the Triple Award, where three awards have been put together to make one super-duper awesome one. Thanks to Vanilla Seven for thinking of me.

Another relatively new EntreCard friend, Courtney of The Ramblings of Courtney, sent another Butterfly my way. I think I’ve got a whole garden full of them now! That’s good; butterflies are precious things.

There are a ton of folk I’d love to pass these along to, but this post is long enough by now, don’t you think? If you take the time to visit any of them, please tell them I sent you. I hope you’ll make new friends, as I am. And that you’ll all buy many copies of The Demo Tapes.

But you knew that last wish, right?

Seriously. Go make new friends. And thanks for thinking of me. I hope that’ll continue; these posts are fun!

(update before posting: more awards have come my way, so expect to see another one of these hopefully soon!)

Welcome to another of the new Thursday 13! I’ve got to say, I’m glad people are keeping it around. If you’re a thirteener, be sure to leave me a comment so I know to visit you.

More and more, I’m hearing that to break into publishing with a big publisher (who’ll have a big publicity budget, one would hope), an author of fiction needs to self-publish and get big. But… what’s big? If you’re ShapeShifter, my famed fictional band, big is…

1. Some people say Mitchell is big. He’s six-one. To me, who is married to someone who’s six-four or six-five, that’s not so big. Tall, I mean.

2. There’s no disputing that ShapeShifter’s sound is big.

3. Or their popularity.

4. A lot of that is due to Mitchell’s big dreams and Trevor’s big ambitions.

5. Trevor’s head is big. His ego, I mean.

6. So’s his attitude. Big.

7. And his appetite for women.

8. Yes, he likes them big. He likes them small. He likes everything in between, too.

9. Despite having an overabundance of curls, Daniel’s hair is never big. Long, yes. Big, no.

10. Eric, the son of a Presbyterian minister, has big faith. Thankfully, he doesn’t talk big about it. In fact, for him, faith is quiet and still.

11. Eric’s not real big, either. Six-foot, roughly speaking. Just a hair shorter than Mitchell.

12. Same for Daniel.

13. As for Trevor… well… like I said. His ambition’s big. His ego is big. His attitude is big. His black book is VERY big. But in terms of physical height, he’s looking up at that magic six-foot mark.

Of course, if you know and love the boys already and haven’t gotten a copy of The Demo Tapes yet, what are you waiting for? I have copies here if you’d like them autographed. It’s just one way I am working to make myself as big as my band…

Check it out, gang! Trevor actually consented to an interview!!!

This doesn’t happen often, but how could Trevor say no when it was his own personal (and favorite) groupie, Lana Moses, asking the questions. How can our favorite bad boy resist a chance to charm a woman straight into his bed?

Thanks to Thomma Lyn at Tennessee Text Wrestling for handling Lana’s end of things. And hosting the interview, too. Use this link to get there, and have some fun!

That’s pretty darn cool. Know what else is?

In just over two months, The Demo Tapes earned me a profit! Do you know how few authors who do it themselves can say that? Now, the profit lasted about a day, as I reached behind me to grab a copy to autograph to one of you dedicated groupies and … realized I’m down to four copies left. So I had to order more.

They’re on the way, but thanks for the support thus far. Keep on helping to spread the word; these links I keep throwing up aren’t just for you, they’re to make sure I am keeping careful records of who’s doing what to help the cause. Don’t worry; you WILL be rewarded with more than a book. Plans are in the works.

Stay tuned. And in the meantime, Vive la Trevolution!

Trevor Wolff doesn’t do reruns. And this Thursday Thirteen thing, all this dying and resurrection drama, it smells of reruns.

But Susan’s insisting. All ’cause of Robin. And Robin… Now there is a woman for you. Strong. Devoted. I bet she could teach Rusty a few things about being cool, too. Even though it was Susan who she said was cool, not me. I’ll have you know, Robin, I’m cooler than Susan can ever hope to be. Got that?

Robin got handed some blog award where she was supposed to tell ten things about herself. She wanted Susan or me to do it.  Susan thought that it’d be fun to get to know this new Thirteen crowd. Maybe remind the old crowd what they’ve been missing.

That means old Trevor gets to do the honors. Ten things about himself, not about Susan. Only, since I’m Trevor Fucking Wolff, I get to forget how to count again and turn ten into thirteen. Which is still better than Mitchell, who’d turn ten into twelve. Idiot’s got his head so far into his music, everything with him’s all about fours.

1. My name’s Trevor Fucking Wolff. Yeah, it’ll be on the quiz. Take notes.

2. I play bass in this band I founded. ShapeShifter. You shoulda heard of us; we fucking thunder. Not rock. Rocking’s for sissies. We thunder. Get the dif?

3. That dork I mentioned, Mitchell. He’s my best friend. Like a brother to me. I lived with his family for two years until I quit high school two days before graduation and Mitchell’s parents told me it was time to move out on my own.

4. I got this rinky-dink apartment over Decade. Still live there.

5.  I have a Vincent. That’s a motorcyle, for you who don’t know better. I rebuilt it mostly by myself. Hammer, Wrench, and Torque helped.

6. I star in Susan’s first book, The Demo Tapes.  You need a copy, if you don’t already have one.

7. It’s chock full of 20 of my favorite adventures. Well, favorite until Susan puts out The Demo Tapes: Year 2.  She’s working on it.

8. Before Mitchell fell in love with this redheaded artist type, he and I tore up the city of Riverview, where we live. Now that he was dumb enough to commit an act of monogamy with Rusty, I rule the city myself. It’s not as much fun as watching Mitchell be a dork.

9. If there’s a willing girl, I’m there. A woman’s body is best appreciated up close. All those curves and soft places; it’s a guy’s fantasy come true. Every single time.

10. One thing no one told us was that the groupies you meet on the way up are the ones you’ll remember the longest. That’s ’cause they do more than spend ten minutes making you happy, ifyouknowwhatTrevormeans. They give you a place to crash when you’re on tour and too broke for a hotel. They feed you after-show dinners and keep the beer flowing and give you Advil in the morning when you had too many beers.

11. Not me, though. My idea of beer’s root beer. I get to laugh at the hungover asses of those three.

12. Susan wrote a book. A novel. When you read it, you’ll get the root beer. And meatball subs. The more copies of The Demo Tapes that you buy, the sooner you’ll get to read the novel. She’s not the only one who promises. I do, too. There’s shit in that book that I’m sick of not being able to tell you about.

13.  How many of you Thirteeners missed old Trevor? ‘Cause Trevor sure missed a lot of you…

Pop quiz: What’s Trevor’s name again?

Have you met my friend Natasha? Also known as Spyscribbler, she’s a piano teacher, a writer, and a wife whose husband is gone for VERY long periods of time. I don’t know how she does it; I’d go mad without the company.

One thing she’s often thinking of is taking a big novel to the New York publishing houses. That goal of hers inspired me to say something, and I’m over at her place today, saying it.

Go check it out. Say hello to Natasha. Add her to your reader. Like everyone else whose blogs I’ve been dropping in on lately, you won’t be disappointed. (and not just because it’s actually ME you’re reading. Heh. I’m funny.)

Hmm. I have serious and silly for you. I think we’ll start with silly.

I found this flow chart, thanks to either Blabbermouth, Brave Words and Bloody Knuckles, or the dudes at Metal Sucks. Don’t remember who and it doesn’t really matter. If you’ve ever wanted to name a heavy metal band (which I do on a regular basis, come to think of it), you NEED this chart.

Check it out.

Kudos to the creative minds behind that.

And kudos to the creative and caring minds behind this, the serious part: The Humane Society in Oshawa, Ontario (that’s Canada for you who might be geographically challenged) burned down last month. One hundred forty animals were killed. The music community is coming together to put on a benefit concert on January 17, so that the shelter can rebuild.

So much for musicians being nothing but uncaring, self-centered jerks.

Read the press release I saw here. It’s the only info I can find; if you hear anything else, let me know. And go here to see the shelter the next morning. Early reports are that the fire was started when mice chewed through electrical wires.

One more thing I’ve found, which is neither serious nor silly. It’s fascinating. Ready? Back around 1990, I discovered this band called The Dan Reed Network. I loved them. I own all three of their albums. And then … they vanished (like many bands do.)

Check out THIS article in BraveWords. I can’t see myself creating a character like the man Dan Reed has become, but he sure has had a cool life.

I think one of my favorite parts of bringing my fictional vision to this blog is the way in which you guys get as caught up in my characters as I do.

Take, for instance, my friend Toni, of It is Nap Time. I’ve known Toni for awhile, first through the now-defunct Thursday Thirteen, and more lately (and perhaps better) through EntreCard. She was the third person to buy an autographed copy of The Demo Tapes from me — and the first to surprise me with the purchase. I hadn’t known she was lurking with that much attention … or love for Trevor and Mitchell.

A week or two ago, she posted an apology on her blog. She’s been in a funk since the holidays. She went on to describe reasons why, and if you read carefully enough, there was the REAL reason: she was (at the time) seven weeks pregnant.

I left her a comment: Congratulations! But… Trevor’s not the father, is he????

She played along, just like any of your more vocal groupies around *coughKotacough*

And today, I’m pleased to be her featured Meet My Friends Monday. Stop in and meet Toni yourself, if you haven’t met her yet. She’s awesome people.

But, be careful, Toni… Trevor’s always wanted to do a pregnant woman!

Here’s the link.

Forgive me while I stir up a relatively dormant hornet’s nest.

However, if you read closely, you’ll see I’m going to talk about a new breed of hornet. I’m not about to rag on the aspiring authors who send out query letters to agents without doing some investigative work. Nope. I’m not a literary agent. That’s not my job.

Rather, there are two breeds of hornets I want to introduce to this nest of Lack of Knowledge: published authors and publishing house publicists, even though literary agent Janet Reid does mention authors at the end of this excellent post.

I’m about to be stung to death. I know this. Oh, well. Someone’s gotta stand up and say it and why the hell not me? Now that I’ve put out The Demo Tapes via Lulu, many in both groups have looked down their noses at me in utter distaste. (Nevermind that conventional wisdom holds that there’s no commercial value in something previously web-published, and nevermind that my readers all but grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me until I consented to give them The Demo Tapes, but that’s another hornet’s nest entirely for another day.)

Here’s the deal: I am getting an increasing amount of e-mail from authors and from publishing house publicists, asking if I’d like a copy of Book X to review on my blog. Maybe I’d even do a giveaway; that would be great.

This e-mail comes to either my personal e-mail account, or to my Win a Book e-mail. It doesn’t matter which; the answer is the same.

Neither blog has ever published full-fledged book reviews. I use Front Street Reviews or Breeni Books for any reviews, and then it’s usually because Barb or Breeni has asked if I’m interested in a particular book. They know that they shouldn’t offer me, whose fiction centers around a fictional rock band and the people who orbit them, a book about a minister in India who wants more children. Let alone the latest offering, a book described as “dreamy and lyrical.”

In my world, Mitchell is dreamy and Lyric takes care of that lyrical part. How on Earth do you think that I’ll be able to relate to your book?

It’s even worse when the approach from the author begins with, “I am an admirer of West of Mars.” Really, now? Is that so? Then why, in the words of Trevor, are you so fucking clueless about what fills these pages? I’m sure this author can’t even tell me if s/he’s a fan of Win a Book or the Meet and Greet. Hell, I doubt they even know that there are two blogs carrying the West of Mars name.

Folks, this is not the way to start off a relationship. You’re lying to me, and if there’s one thing that’ll get you on my shit list without a second thought, it’s being caught in a lie.

Still, I’m trying to be nice. I’ve been writing responses that explain that neither The Meet and Greet nor Win a Book post book reviews, and that any contests I run through The Meet and Greet are few and far between — and initiated by me. I then go on to explain the whole concept of Win a Book, and invite the sender of the mail to submit links, just as the book bloggers do.

The problem of late is that the requests have been picking up. I have things to do in my life. I have books to write, Demo Tapes: Year Two to work on. I have my own publicity to do. I can’t spend twenty minutes a few times a day sending out the same damn e-mail — an e-mail that wouldn’t be necessary if someone had taken just five minutes to look over my blogs. From now on, I’ll be sending out the link to this post as my reply. Heck, I might even get a better response to it than I have been getting to a thoughtfully composed explanation of something that should have been checked out beforehand.

There’s no substitute for proper research. There just isn’t. Ask any author of historical fiction if there is. And then duck. Fast.

There’s no substitue particularly when the research I’m talking about is as easy as looking over the front page of someone’s blog before sending out the equivalent of spam.

From 2001 to 2003, I did some volunteer work for Metallica. One thing I learned from the band and their staff is one thing I say to my family all the time: Do it right, or don’t bother doing it.

That holds true no matter what you’re doing.

Someone who shall remain nameless *coughbreenicough* nominated me for a couple of awards over at Preditors and Editors and their annual Best of contest.

I’ve been named in the Author Published in 2008 category, as well as the Anthology Published in 2008 category.

Given some of the powerhouses in those categories, there’s no way I’ll win (although I’d sure love to). I’m just hoping I don’t come in last… Please help.

And please show some love for Breeni, too! She’s been unflagging in her support of me and is the reason I’m not just putting The Demo Tapes out into the world without much of a publicity push behind it. She’s the one who had faith that it can reach beyond my inner circle of faithful groupies — and I’m starting to see that she was right. She’s been nominated in the Review Site category, so please show her your appreciation, too, by voting.

Thanks, guys. And thanks, Breeni. I really didn’t want to have long fingernails or anything… nope, not me…

I often talk to other authors who are trying to promote themselves. Go here, I’ll tell them. My friend Breeni has interviewed a number of book bloggers. You can look through the profiles and choose who to approach about sending out review copies, or doing a guest blog, or an interview, and/or a giveaway. And don’t forget to drop me a note at Win a Book so I can plug it and get you even more attention.

Those authors have a luxury I don’t: they get free copies from their publisher.

Me, I’ve got to pay for each one I send out, so I’m being stingy (that said, if you’d like the .pdf of The Demo Tapes for review, give a yell. Those I don’t have to pay for).

Still, I think I’m doing pretty well. Not only have I done three guest blogs now, I’ve had friends and book bloggers (and both) plug The Demo Tapes. And in J. Kaye’s case, she’s plugged it more than once.

Check ’em out:

J. Kaye
And J. Kaye again.
Three times … a charm, right?
Thomma Lyn
Lakota Phillips
Ashley

And have you seen the front page of Front Street Reviews? Barb has outdone herself this time!

Huge thank yous to these ladies who’ve blogged about The Demo Tapes so far. Huge thank yous to you who’ve opened your wallets in this tight economy and bought copies — especially those of you outside the US. Shipping The Demo Tapes to you isn’t cheap!

Now, if you’ll excuse me (not while I tend to how I feel), I’ve got the rest of the Internet to conquer…

Come join the Trevolution!

For those of you who think the only legacies coming out of Pittsburgh are our Steelers (what a game yesterday!) or steel mills, I’ve found another for you.

I’m talking about it over at Shelley Munro’s blog. Come on over and visit!