Pam Fiction: Pregnant Women

Okay, so I know I’m not the smartest girl who ever walked the Earth. I mean, if I couldn’t figure that out in school, then maybe I am too stupid to live, like those rich bitches used to say I was.

But I’m not. Know how I know that? It’s because I know something that a bunch of smarties at some university back East had to study for years to figure out. I’m a health professional. Them, they’re eggheads. That’s how I got to know this so much faster.

Pregnant women who exercise have less depression.

Like I didn’t know that? Hello?

I can totally see it on the faces of my pregger students. How they walk in all achy and complaining and maybe sorry they’ve done this to themselves but of course they can’t admit that. I watch them careful ’cause, you know, they’re pregnant and all. As class goes on, those aches go away. Their bodies gear up and get in the groove. I see their faces relax. Their hunched shoulders drop. They smile. By the time they leave, it’s all good and being pregnant is the best thing in the world.

It’s simple. Exercise makes you feel good. It makes you feel like your body’s under your control. I’ve never been pregnant but my students say that sometimes, their body feels out of control. That it’s doing all these things and they can’t stop it and they can barely watch because some of it’s ugly. Their body knows what to do and it goes and does it and the heck with what their brain wants!

This is why I do what I do. I never feel as good or as alive or as sexy or anything as I do after I’ve worked out. I don’t feel dumb when it’s me up there leading the class. I’m not dumb when they come to me and ask why something hurts.

And I’m sure not dumb when I know that exercise makes pregnant women less depressed.

Now if only Mitchell Voss would see how not dumb I am. And that I’m only with Trevor until Mitchell notices. I mean, how much closer does a girl have to get? Hello? I’m right here with your best friend, buddy! Open your eyes. I’m waiting.

With Yom Kippur ending, pregnancy and kids are on my mind (see this post for why) and … well, I felt like it.

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