Susan Speaks: A Disturbing New Trend

Forgive me while I stir up a relatively dormant hornet’s nest.

However, if you read closely, you’ll see I’m going to talk about a new breed of hornet. I’m not about to rag on the aspiring authors who send out query letters to agents without doing some investigative work. Nope. I’m not a literary agent. That’s not my job.

Rather, there are two breeds of hornets I want to introduce to this nest of Lack of Knowledge: published authors and publishing house publicists, even though literary agent Janet Reid does mention authors at the end of this excellent post.

I’m about to be stung to death. I know this. Oh, well. Someone’s gotta stand up and say it and why the hell not me? Now that I’ve put out The Demo Tapes via Lulu, many in both groups have looked down their noses at me in utter distaste. (Nevermind that conventional wisdom holds that there’s no commercial value in something previously web-published, and nevermind that my readers all but grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me until I consented to give them The Demo Tapes, but that’s another hornet’s nest entirely for another day.)

Here’s the deal: I am getting an increasing amount of e-mail from authors and from publishing house publicists, asking if I’d like a copy of Book X to review on my blog. Maybe I’d even do a giveaway; that would be great.

This e-mail comes to either my personal e-mail account, or to my Win a Book e-mail. It doesn’t matter which; the answer is the same.

Neither blog has ever published full-fledged book reviews. I use Front Street Reviews or Breeni Books for any reviews, and then it’s usually because Barb or Breeni has asked if I’m interested in a particular book. They know that they shouldn’t offer me, whose fiction centers around a fictional rock band and the people who orbit them, a book about a minister in India who wants more children. Let alone the latest offering, a book described as “dreamy and lyrical.”

In my world, Mitchell is dreamy and Lyric takes care of that lyrical part. How on Earth do you think that I’ll be able to relate to your book?

It’s even worse when the approach from the author begins with, “I am an admirer of West of Mars.” Really, now? Is that so? Then why, in the words of Trevor, are you so fucking clueless about what fills these pages? I’m sure this author can’t even tell me if s/he’s a fan of Win a Book or the Meet and Greet. Hell, I doubt they even know that there are two blogs carrying the West of Mars name.

Folks, this is not the way to start off a relationship. You’re lying to me, and if there’s one thing that’ll get you on my shit list without a second thought, it’s being caught in a lie.

Still, I’m trying to be nice. I’ve been writing responses that explain that neither The Meet and Greet nor Win a Book post book reviews, and that any contests I run through The Meet and Greet are few and far between — and initiated by me. I then go on to explain the whole concept of Win a Book, and invite the sender of the mail to submit links, just as the book bloggers do.

The problem of late is that the requests have been picking up. I have things to do in my life. I have books to write, Demo Tapes: Year Two to work on. I have my own publicity to do. I can’t spend twenty minutes a few times a day sending out the same damn e-mail — an e-mail that wouldn’t be necessary if someone had taken just five minutes to look over my blogs. From now on, I’ll be sending out the link to this post as my reply. Heck, I might even get a better response to it than I have been getting to a thoughtfully composed explanation of something that should have been checked out beforehand.

There’s no substitute for proper research. There just isn’t. Ask any author of historical fiction if there is. And then duck. Fast.

There’s no substitue particularly when the research I’m talking about is as easy as looking over the front page of someone’s blog before sending out the equivalent of spam.

From 2001 to 2003, I did some volunteer work for Metallica. One thing I learned from the band and their staff is one thing I say to my family all the time: Do it right, or don’t bother doing it.

That holds true no matter what you’re doing.