#SaystheEditor The Emotion Game

As authors, we walk an interesting, fascinating line: that between emotionally engaged and not. We need to emotionally engage in order to write the heart-wrenching stuff that our readers demand. We also need to be emotionally engaged enough to be able to create an emotionally appropriate, fully-rounded character. Because believe me, if the author doesn’t care about his or her characters, neither will the reader.

But we also need to be detached from the emotional games that go along with emotional involvement. And that’s because we are both the puppet and the puppet master. (No. Wrong Master of Puppets!)

When we’re wearing our author or editor (or beta or crit partner) hats, it’s easier to disengage. It really is. We have the space we need, physically and emotionally. We can put the book or manuscript down and walk away and think.

Our characters usually can’t. And often, they shouldn’t have this distance. Sometimes, your character needs to be playing the bad guy’s emotion game. Your character probably needs to be more emotionally vested than you are, especially if your character is going up against a narcissist, a sociopath, or a psychopath. This is because until the character — the victim, the target — knows what s/he is dealing with, the emotion game is impossible to avoid.

What’s it look like?

Shock. Disbelief. An inability to wrap your head around a consistent set of actions. A refusal to accept the reality you’re faced with — and not necessarily the reality you’re living (that gets into the whole area of gaslighting) but the reality that this is how the bad guy behaves over and over again and isn’t going to change that. The character self-righteously claims they are refusing to normalize abnormal behavior.

Yet their shock and disbelief and anger continue to play the exact role the bad guy is feeding to them. And the bad guy wins.

Let’s take a step back.

Shock, disbelief, anger — these are emotions. Emotions have good points and bad points and advantages and disadvantages. (kind of like everything else in life!)

If you retain nothing else from this post, remember this: When your character is caught up in the cycle of expressing emotion, your character is not able to gain the upper hand on his or her enemy, something that requires emotional distance and clarity to achieve. And so long as your character is emotional, they are off-balance. Off-balance means easier to manipulate.

Bad guy wins.

Yes, it IS that simple.

So, as authors, it’s your job to, to an extent, get caught up in this emotional cycle — insofar as the character needs you to, in order to create an authentic experience for the reader.

BUT as authors, you also need to know how to rise above that emotion, how to break the cycle. There are many ways to do this, of course; what works for one person or character may not work for the next. Method isn’t nearly as important and being able to sever that emotional reaction. Once your character can get past the emotion game, your character comes out the winner.

Sounds simple, right? But look around you in your own life. Take a good, cold, hard look. Notice how many people are caught up in the drama of the emotion game. Because, hey, it’s drama! Friends respond to drama (at least until you tip the scales into the land of the drama queen). They hear you better when you are passionate!

Except… guess what? You are also too emotionally invested, and you can’t think clearly and critically. You are unconsciously holding yourself down in a position of weakness under the narcissist/sociopath/psychopath/asshole who is using your emotions to manipulate you and keep you under his/her thumb.

Yes, you are allowing yourself to be abused.

You.

Are.

Allowing.

Yourself.

To.

Be.

Abused.

In fiction, we expect the abused to be able to rise above, end the emotion game, and triumph in the end. We cheer the main character as they embrace their agency, find their strength, and defeat the agents of evil.

So why aren’t we doing it in real life?

Take a deep breath. And a step back. What do you respond emotionally to? Are you playing someone else’s emotion game in the name of resisting the abuse?

Is your character?

Is that where you want to be? Is that what you want your character to be doing?

Think about it. Think hard.