More from the list of homophones — or, as I like to call ’em, words that sound alike and get confused ALL the time and please stop.

I know. homophones is SO MUCH more concise. Maybe that’s why it’s the more commonly used word.

What’s on the chopping block today? PAST versus PASSED.

I first started noticing this one from my Black clients, or those who use some degree of AAVE. Which of course creates a conundrum: Is it AAVE? I’m no expert — far from it (she says with a snort) — but given that the rest of the book wasn’t in AAVE, then yeah, it was something to call out as incorrect, and to query in dialogue. Because not all characters talk with correct grammar. (I mention that a lot when I edit for you.)

Let’s take a look…

PAST
Things that are over with. Think in terms of “The past, the present, the future.”

Our past lives.
I am past the age of eating nothing but chicken nuggets and mac and cheese. (No, you’re really not.)
I walked past the garden today.

See? It’s all stuff you put behind you.
Webster’s, of course, breaks it down differently and maybe better. Judge for yourself.

Now, PASSED.
This is also something that happened previously. (In the past. How about that? Ha!)

BUT it’s a bit different because it’s the past tense (there I go again) of the word PASS. And oof, if you’re going to go read this definition, do it with a full beverage and maybe some snacks. It’s a LONG one, as many good, variable words produce. This is why English is so great and so much fun and why you need people like me in your corner!

Grandma passed away.
We passed the garden today. (Note how this is different from “We walked past the garden today.” See the subtle differences? Need me to unpack this?)
I passed the fifth grade. Barely.

These are WAY more active sentences. And that’s your quick test for past versus passed. Unless, of course, you struggle with active versus passive. And I can help with that, too.

Oh, the many things a good editor can do for you!

It was a hot and heavy sex scene, right in the opening of the book. And it was a good one, too, written with sensitivity and in a way that made us care about these characters even though it was, in their minds, nothing more than a meaningless hookup — although the reader knew it would be the start of something bigger.

And then the hero kissed his way down her body and stopped at her naval and…

WAIT.

WHAT?

I’m sorry, but WHAT THE FUCK?

From Webster’s:

Definition of naval
1 obsolete : of or relating to ships or shipping
2 a : of or relating to a navy
b : consisting of or involving warships

THIS IS A SEX SCENE, PEOPLE, NOT WAR ON THE HIGH OCEAN.

(And while war on the high ocean could be a metaphor for sex, in this case, it certainly was NOT. No warfare happening here. Just a lot of mutual lust.)

Believe it or not, I finished the book. It was a good book (although it should have had a much better editor because yes, that was only the beginning of the issues), hard to put down even though I did more wincing than any reader should ever have to.

But I’d have liked it more, I’d be telling people to go pick it up and read it, if the team behind it had been more careful.

Just in case you’re confused — because it does happen, and I’ll forgive you for an honest mistake (because you’re not an editor being paid to know the difference. I hope.) — they should have used NAVEL.

Again, from Webster’s:

Definition of navel
1 : a depression in the middle of the abdomen that marks the point of former attachment of the umbilical cord or yolk stalk
2 : the central point : middle

In Delphi’s golden age, when the ancients held it to be the navel of the world —Henry Kamm

Sigh.

It’s on you to put out the best book possible. And while the best editors are human, even humans make mistakes. Remember that no editor is 100% perfect and that Microsoft Word loves to insert typos just to fuck with the heads of conscientious authors everywhere.

Make sure the editor you’re hiring really IS the best you can hire. I’m always open to new clients, and if my rates are too high for you — I do have a mortgage to pay — let’s talk. It’s about making the best book possible, right?