Tag Archives: stop chasing the abuser

Would or Wouldn’t? Ask the Magic Decoder Ring

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It’s been awhile since I’ve posted about the charming narcissistic abuse we’re being exposed to on a daily basis. But this one’s been gnawing at me, so here it is.

Know how some members of the media are chasing after our Narcissist in Chief, trying to figure out what he means? Do all the walkbacks, the contradictions, the double-speak give you whiplash?

They are meant to.

It’s the most basic form of narcissistic abuse: keeping you on the hook, around, dependent on him (or her) for clarification. There is no reality other than what the narcissist creates, and it’s a shifting, slippery, scary place. He (or she) is the only one who can navigate it for you.

But if you look at the words and then compare them to the actions, they NEVER match up. They never will. Because the words are a game. They’re the worm on the fishing hook and you’re the trout. You can’t resist; it looks so good wiggling away there on the hook. One bite and it’ll be yours.

One more try to kick that football that Lucy holds and you’ll have made it, Charlie Brown.

Get it? See how that works? The media comes salvating around, trying to get at the truth of the situation. Would he? Wouldn’t he? Which is it? Yesterday it was would, today it’s wouldn’t, tomorrow it’ll be would, come back Tuesday to see if it’s changed or stayed the same.

There’s a hint of an endorphin rush in there, isn’t there?

Don’t buy into it.

Don’t listen to the words, especially when the words change so fast. Look beyond them, into the spaces the words are designed to hide. Look beyond them, into the actions the words are designed to hide — and no, the spaces and the actions aren’t the same things. Not even close.

Close your ears. Tune out the narcissistic abuse that’s nothing more than noise. Stop chasing him around, hoping for the final absolute truth and reporting every last syllable even when it contradicts what your eyes tell you. The only thing you’re doing is hurting yourself — and everyone who’s depending on you for the truth. In the case of the media, the harder they chase, the more they feed into his claims that they’re not truthful. See how that works?

Look at the actions. Always, always, always, look at the actions. There’s your truth, even when it’s ugly and hard to admit.

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