After the Lori Foster/Dianne Castell author-reader weekend, I’m on a high. I wanted to share cool promo stuff with you.

1. Let’s start with a guest blog appearance. I’m over at Bookish Mom Reviews, talking about how awesome it is when someone new to my world loves my little book.

2. My favorite promo item that came home with me? Post-it notes. All you authors out there, take note!

3. Given my absolute love of Amazon, it surprises even me that I’ve sold out.
You can now download this here meet and greet if you’ve got a Kindle.

4. I’ll be adding the Win a Book blog over there as soon as I get the time. All you Win a Book fans, watch for it!

5. I’ll be guest blogging at drey’s Library on the 19th. Mark your calendars.

6. drey and I have cooked up a few surprises for you.

7. If you’ve missed any earlier guest blog posts I’ve written, check out the links to all of them here.

8. I made promo postcards for the weekend, but am thinking that given my love of bookmarks — and sharing those bookmarks when I trade a book online — I need some of those, too.

9. What do you guys think? Do you like author bookmarks?

10. It struck me as funny that I’ve done more guest blog posts than I’ve done interviews. It goes to prove my theory that I’m essentially not very interesting, but I can say interesting things about my books until the cows come home.

11. There are no cows currently living at West of Mars.

12. That means for me to talk about my books until the cows come home… well, you’re smart. Think about it.

13. There’s more of this sort of fun to come. Be sure to pick up a copy of The Demo Tapes: Year 1 (especially as Year 2 will be debuting in September) so you don’t miss out!

For something I’m working on behind the scenes, I needed to create a new character. Here he is, about 13 paragraphs or so. Let me know what you think.

Soul Bendorff

Born Saul Bendorff, Soul’s name was changed for him by the kids at school. No real reason other than it was an easy way to try to get under the guy’s skin.

It didn’t work.

Soul’s got dark, dark hair. Almost black. It’s straight. Pretty thin. He wears it chin-length, lets it hang. It can’t cover up the massive acne scarring on both cheeks that leaves him pitted and almost disfigured, but it also sets off his very high cheekbones. Think Eastern European aristocracy. He’s got very dark, dark blue eyes, too.

Soul picked up a guitar in the sixties. Started bending strings and doing things with reverb that no one had thought about doing, let alone had tested to see if it was possible. For a lot of the wanna-bes, it wasn’t possible. But that was Soul. He had a gift.

He was also grouchy as hell when he was drunk, which was most of the time. He discovered fast that if he set his guitar on fire at the end of the show, that meant he didn’t have to play an encore.

Soul went through a lot of guitars that way.

Fortunately for him, the company who made his favorite guitar liked the way he stretched its boundaries. They made him custom guitars. Kept him well stocked for his bonfires.

Those bonfires and that noise-called-music he made fueled him into the public eye at a time when rockers were truly bad boys. (we’re talking late sixties, hippie revolution, Woodstock, Altamont… you get the idea). He became the poster boy for the rock revolution. And Soul embraced it. Lived the life. Never appeared in public without his dark glasses, bottle of bourbon, and a pretty, lithe blonde draped on him. He wore dark blue suede fringe vests, jeans with bell bottoms and custom embroidery. All the flies buttoned; he wouldn’t wear pants with zippers. Skin-tight pull-ons (the precursors to spandex?) in polyester were his favorites.

And tennis shoes. Everyone else wore mod boots. Soul wore tennis shoes. Grungy dark blue Chuck Taylors.

Dark blue was Soul’s color. It matched his eyes. Or so people said; with those dark glasses, no one could get close enough to see his eyes.

Not even his blondes. Apparently, Soul kept the glasses on at all times.
He was wearing a pair when he was found dead. Alcohol poisoning. Or maybe his heart gave out while busy with a blonde. Maybe she poisoned him. The authorities found traces of her. They knew she’d been there when he died.

No one ever knew who she was. No one ever found her. She’s the only one who knows what happened to Soul Bendorff.

Dead at 25.

***
Be sure to visit the other Thursday Thirteeners and see what’s going on in their worlds.

You’d better believe I’m over the moon about my beloved Pittsburgh Penguins returning to the Stanley Cup finals for the second year in a row. Is the second time the charm? Time will tell.

In the meantime, here’s some bits about hockey:
1. The last time a team lost in the final and returned the following year to try again was in 1984. The team? The (much vaunted) Edmonton Oilers.

2. Back then, I wasn’t the hockey fan I am now. Hell, I was trying to survive high school.

3. Then I went to Graduate school — at the same school the Penguins’ current head coach, Dan Bylsma attended. I believe he left just as I was arriving.

4. Bored in the middle of a cornfield, that January, I was able to do something that the Penguins’ first Stanley Cup years had awakened in me: the desire to play ice hockey.

5. I spent so much time at the campus Ice Arena that I liked to joke I got my Master of Fine Arts degree in ice hockey.

6. (It’s actually in fiction)

7. All that time on the ice, in the locker rooms, hanging around the pro shop and the Zamboni room crew inspired a novel.

8. I actually landed an agent for that novel. Clearly, he wasn’t the world’s best agent.

9. Every now and then I think maybe I’ll put it out from under the bed and revamp it.

10. But we’re all having way too much fun with Trevor and the band. How does ice hockey figure into a rock band’s life?

11. I’ve spent many Penguin games sitting in the stands (we have the second-best seats in the place, I’m convinced of it. Who’s got the best? The players) trying to figure that out.

12. My fictional town of Riverview is home to a baseball team, The Otters. Maybe a hockey team ought to move in, too?

13. While I debate (and your input is quite welcome), join me in cheering on my Penguins, will ya?

Let’s go, Pens. I want to dance with Lord Stanley again.

A few weeks ago, I introduced you to Mona’s Middle Eastern Eats. I had so much fun creating this new restaurant in Riverview that I wanted to explore it further. So… here goes.

1. Mona’s is actually owned by Steve Greenblatt, who grew up in Hackensack, New Jersey.

2. Steve was identified in first grade as being of gifted intelligence.

3. Sadly, Steve was adopted by parents of average intelligence, who assumed that their boy would be fine.

4. Steve graduated in the top 100 of his graduating high school class of 839 and went to college at Columbia University. His major was listed as Undecided.

5. Junior year, Steve dropped out of Columbia without having ever declared a major.

6. He found his way across the country and landed in Berkeley, CA. Tune out, drop in, dude.

7. A rich Marin County woman found him in a bookstore one day three years later and took him home. She needed a pretend son for an upcoming trip to the Middle East.

8. So Steve went.

9. Steve found his calling, at last.

10. Upon returning to the Bay Area, the Marin County woman proved too smothering. San Francisco wasn’t big enough for the two of them.

11. Steve made his way to Riverview. Went to work in a homeless shelter, where he lived. Nights, he went to the library and read cookbooks. He smoked a lot of weed. And he dreamed.

12. A return to the Bay Area was brief. It lasted long enough for Steve to milk the Marin County woman for the start-up costs for his dream.

13. And Mona’s Middle Eastern Eats was born.

Be sure to leave me a comment so I know you were here. And then, it’s off with you to visit all the other cool Thirteeners out there!

It’s been awhile since I did a Booking Through Thursday question. I’ve been able to resist them until now…

Here’s the question:

Are your eyes bigger than your book belly? Do you have a habit of buying up books far quicker than you could possibly read them? Have you had to curb your book buying habits until you can catch up with yourself? Or are you a controlled buyer, only purchasing books when you have run out of things to read?

With 526 books (not including what’s on my nightstand and in my book club bag, so 560 isn’t out of the realm of possibilities) sitting here, waiting to be read, you bet I’ve got a small book problem.

It comes from two places: one was the flood of credits and trades I got when I began online trading. I had books here that I’d kept for years, not sure how best to set them loose on the world.

And then, I won a sweepstakes, where everyone sends a book to the winner — except for the winner (who doesn’t know s/he has won until the books start arriving), who sends one to a decoy.

That was three years ago when I won that sweepstakes. I’m still working on reading those books.

*sigh*

All of you who know me from Win a Book, THIS is why I rarely enter the contests I post about! I shall get through this pile. I really shall. Granted, it was easier when I was reading 12 books a month, but … I’ll get there.

It’s been one of those weeks. Again. I seem to be having more of them.

1. Trevor would tell me to change it. Just… change it. Believe me, if I could, I would.

2. In the hoopla that’s been this week, I forgot to announce the winner of Colette Gale’s Bound By Honor. Let me do that now.

3. That’d be Janel, as picked by Opening Act #2 (pick a number between one and nineteen, babe. Nine? Okay. Thanks.)

4. Since my massage yesterday, I’ve been walking around with Whiplash stuck in my brain. Huh. How about THAT?

5. Ahh, the Golden Age of Hetfield (use that Whiplash link to see what I mean). Yum.

6. Mitchell’s still cooler.

7. And hotter.

8. I spent a big chunk of Wednesday on Demo Tapes — Year 2. You’re going to like it.

9. I’ve been too busy to really devote the proper time to ANY of my fiction, but I’m aiming to have Demo Tapes — Year 2 done before the Bridgewater Book Fest in September.

10. I’m not listed on the website (sniff), but I’ll be there, copies of Demo Tapes in hand. That’s why I want Demo Tapes 2 to be done by then.

11. I have a bunch of Trevor-rich outtakes ready to go. And a few to finish. I miss Trevor. In his own way, he keeps me sane.

12. I have this goofy idea that’s totally Trevor-inspired. Now all I need is the time to implement it. You’re going to love it.

13. Okay, off to it. Be sure to leave a comment so I know you were here! And if you’re not seeing me in your feed, be sure to update the link. We switched WordPress platforms and the feed might be messed up. Or not. Like I said, it’s been one of these weeks!

Last week, for whatever reason, I thought it would be fun to write about Trevor’s favorite foods. You guys seemed to have fun with it, too, so when my good friend Wylie asked me to list Mitchell’s favorite foods this week, it seemed like a great idea.

1. Potato chips. Notice how often he’s eating them? Sheesh. The man loves his chips. Don’t try to steal them, though.

2. Tomatoes, charred on his grill.

3. Pan-seared fish, such as snapper or swordfish (thanks, Ann!). Best when prepared with a fruit salsa of some sort, heavy on the lime juice.

4. Anything grilled. Anything. Even things you thought couldn’t be grilled. He’ll try it.

5. Fruits and vegetables. Yep, Mitchell loves ’em. He’ll gladly sit down to a meal and find it’s a heaping salad. (Meat optional.)

6. He’s always the first to devour the backstage veggie tray, especially when it’s got cauliflower and red pepper on it. He’ll munch the pepper slices like they’re potato chips.

7. From the healthy to the barbecue… Big Buck’s Best Barbecue and Big Buck’s Bodacious Sauce hold a special place for him. He’s been all over the world, eaten all sorts of barbecue, and still says Big Buck’s is the best. And yes, he’s a suck-the-rib-clean kinda guy.

8. Ice Cream, of course. While he’s not as avidly sexual about it as Trevor is, there’s something about a good vanilla cone — despite the old taunts from big sister Amy about how, with his silvery-blonde hair, he looked like a vanilla ice cream cone when he wore khaki pants as a kid. (And now you know why he never wears white. ANYWHERE.)

9. Pizza. In moderation.

10. Veal. Who cares if the cow’s raised in a box, it tastes good when it’s dead and sitting on his plate, cooked to perfection.

11. French fries, especially when they’re shoestring cut. Thin and crispy, they accompany a heaping salad well. (this outtake is still in the half-finished stage. Stay tuned!)

12. Whipped cream. That’s all I’m saying.

13. Orange juice. Mitchell’s drink of choice.

I honestly can’t say what inspired me to think of Trevor’s favorite foods, but here you go… In no order, until the last one, which truly is Trevor’s #1.

13. bacon (see Trev wax vaguely poetic about bacon here)

12. Pickles, the sour kind that make your mouth pucker. Best when given to Mitchell right before he takes the stage. Or maybe in the middle of the set, but you’d better be ready to run really fast afterward.

11. M&Ms. Fun to pop in your mouth. Gives an idea of what it might be like to be a stereotypic rock star who pops drugs like they’re candy.

10. Pot roast. Whenever Mitchell’s mom says she’s making this for dinner, Trevor shows up. He even showers first.

9. cookies. Sonya sends the guys care packages from time to time, but every now and then, a store-bought cookie hits the spot.

8. Bananas. This is Trevor we’re talking about, after all. Same thing with uncut cucumbers and zucchini. Hey, no one ever said the boy WAS original. Just that he IS an original.

7. Which explains why he’ll occasionally suck a lemon. Trevor likes the lemony fresh smell (so much better than the fake smell in all those cleaners promoters like to use in their dressing rooms) and besides, the rest of the guys shudder when he does it. He’s been known to chase it with a spoonful of sugar and a big drink of water. Dissected Lemonade, he calls it.

6. Corn on the cob. Unless some idiot promoter has hired a caterer who’s turned it into mush. Corn on the cob should be firm. You should be able to sink your teeth into it, slobber all over it, lick the salt and butter off your hands, and wind up with a naked cob at the end.

The sexual innuendo you’re seeing in all that is entirely your own. This is about food, people. Not rock stars and their sex and drugs. (Well, except for the M&Ms)

5. Pancakes. A favored breakfast of the entire band. Trevor used to thoroughly douse them in store-bought syrup until Eric one day made him try the real stuff. For once, Eric was right.

4. Pizza’s always good, but free pizza? Even better. (Beware if you use this link; it’ll put you smack in the middle of Green Hair Week. You may feel lost. If so, read the entire sequence.)

3. Ice Cream — before the band gets too big (and even a little bit after), before the fans find out (and even sometimes after), Trevor likes to talk the tour bus driver into stopping at an ice cream store for a cone before they hit the road. He waxes poetic about it here. One day, I’ll write the scene where he and Mitchell dress up in trench coats and convince Kerri to be their Bond girl…

2. Root beer. Way better than the stuff the rest of the band drinks. AND it doesn’t make Trevor turn into Hank.

And the granddaddy of Trevor’s diet:
1. Meatball subs from Harry’s Hoagies. ‘Nuff said.

Last week, Janet and Megan took the suggestion of blogger Chanda and asked if we’d like to make a Thirteen about weddings.

My thirteen was already done, so I decided to hold off on the prompt until this week. I figured it’d be a good one to ask the ShapeShifter boys about, since it’s been awhile since we last heard from them and I know you’ve missed them as much as I have.

So…

Thirteen things about Weddings, ShapeShifter Style

1. Trevor’s opposed to weddings and anything related to them. After all, weddings are the gateway to monogamy — according to him.

2. Daniel, on the other hand, dreams of marrying Val. Properly — in a church, even though he’s never set foot in one. And her in a long white gown with a train and veil that trail halfway up the aisle. The problem is, Val doesn’t share this dream. Never has.

3. Eric creates a third factor in this equation. The son of a Presbyterian minister, he grew up believing in marriage, life-long marriage. He’s watched his parents weather some tough spots and is committed to finding the woman who can do the same with him.

4. Add in Mitchell, who never thought one way or another about marriage. Yeah, both his older sisters were married by the time he met Kerri. Yeah, his parents have a great marriage. But for him? He’d thought it would never happen, so why dwell on it?

5. Back to Trevor, who also thinks marriage is a way to hold yourself down. When there’s someone else to consider, life isn’t as much fun.

6. Look at Daniel, Trevor will say. He missed how many nights with the rest of the band, hanging at Roach’s, because Val was *insert whine here* tired and wanted to go home?

7. And then there’s the arrangement Daniel and Val have. Since Val doesn’t like being on tour with the band, she gives Daniel some freedom. So long as he doesn’t get their names, or see them again.

8. Eric takes a different approach to the women he meets on the road: they become friends, for as long as the relationship can be sustained.

9. Trevor can’t stand this, of course. Girls aren’t to be friends with. They’re to love and leave.

10. Val’s opposition to marrying Daniel means that Mitchell is the first band member to get married. He does that during Trevor’s Song.

11. Needless to say, Trevor’s not happy about this. About the marriage. About the choice of women. About losing his best friend and partner in crime.

12. Eric and Daniel think it’s great that Mitchell found Kerri. Eric’s dad performed the ceremony, which was held in Daniel and Val’s back yard. The reception was a lot of fun, too.

13. Don’t even bring up the idea of kids around Trevor. Just … don’t… go … there.

Miss me?

We got home on Monday but between settling back in and the abrupt resumption of real life, I’ve been quiet. Time to change that.

Thirteen Things I did on my Spring Vacation

1. Bumped over the Rocky Mountains in a puddle jumper.

2. Stayed at a four-star resort. You should, too. Amazing food. Better staff.

3. Hauled along a stuffed doberman, the class pet. Took lots of absurd pictures with said doberman that had other vacationers laughing along with us.

4. Visited Arches National Park. There are 17 hikes listed, according to difficulty level, at the Visitor Center. We conquered about 13 of them, including the hardest one in the park.

5. That hardest hike is into the Fiery Furnace area of the park. Yes, it’s as narrow and nerve-testing as the pictures make it look. Yet it was also great fun and I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

6. The highlight, however, happened after we drove our rented Chevy Trailblazer down a very washboarded, unpaved road to the head of the trail. We were headed out to Tower Arch.

7. We sat and had snacks underneath the arch. You can still see where the arch’s discoverer, Alex Higgenbotham (I think that was his name), wrote his name on the wall (but don’t touch!)

8. Tower Arch is masculine and tough. There’s no doubt about it. If you want grace and beauty, try Delicate Arch or Landscape Arch.

9. I loved Double Arch. In fact, the whole windows area is pretty cool.

10. Did you know that the soil is alive? Out in Arches (and in neighboring Canyonlands), it is. Called Biological Soil (this year; it’s had other names in years past, but it’s the same stuff), it’s very cool. And, in places, very hard to see. Don’t step off the marked paths.

11. And did we see others going off-trail! This is how and why I became a conservationist. I don’t understand how people can come to the National Parks and be dazzled by their surroundings, yet show so little respect for something so important. Hello? Don’t you want your grandchildren to be able to see this, too?

12. On our final day in Utah, we drove over to Canyonlands National Park. If you’ve never been there, let me tell you, it’s so big, so vast, so amazing … the Tour Manager and I joked that it’s not real. It’s just a great big painting. I’d love to return and do some serious hiking in there. I’m talking multi-day treks.

13. Our last stop before heading home was Grand Junction, CO. I think I could live there — or so I said until I heard the weather forecast. Snow. In mid-April. Regardless, Grand Junction looked like a great little town. We found a great Mom-and-Pop Mexican restaurant that was open on Easter Sunday, too.

There ya go, boys and girls. Six days distilled into thirteen things. I can’t say I was as easy on my camera… just like my Yellowstone trip last year, 500+ pictures made the editing cut. Not all will go into the album I’m going to make, but most will.

More from Trevor and the rest of the gang in the days ahead.

I was surprised at the number of you last week who commented that you didn’t know what taboule is. You poor, sheltered people! This mixture of parsley, bulgur wheat, onions and/or scallions, and tomatoes, all tossed in a light, lovely lemony, garlicky, olive oil dressing… Oh, it’s to die for. The combination of flavors makes your tastebuds come alive.

So as I was thinking of a way to incorporate taboule into my second Thirteen in a row, I decided to create a new restaurant in my fictional town of Riverview. Why not? After all, I love Middle Eastern food. And since Mitchell likes his food on the healthy side (as opposed to Trevor, who thinks grease ought to be a food group), Mona’s Middle Eastern Eats came to mind.

On the menu at Mona’s…
1. Taboule, of course!

2. And hummus and baba ganoush. These purees (of chick peas and smoked eggplant, respectively) define Middle Eastern food for many. Mona’s makes both in-house and often hopes they don’t run out by the end of the day.

3. Falaffel is a classic. Chick pea patties are deep-fried and served with a yogurt sauce. At Mona’s, you can have them as a sandwich, wrapped in a freshly-baked pita, if you’d like. Or you can have the appetizer style: little balls of flavored goodness.

4. Most people know about grape leaves. Stuffed with either ground lamb and rice or other goodies like chick peas, these can be served either cold or hot, depending on your filling preference. Mitchell likes them cold ’cause they’re easier to pick up to eat. They are also fun to play with; they make great pretend cigars.

5. And then there’s Kibbee. You can usually get this lamb and wheat delicacy raw or cooked. With raw meat, there’s always a chance it can make you sick. (Sort of like oysters) Mona’s does its best to make sure the raw version won’t make you swear to never return, but it’s hard to find locally-grown, grass-fed lamb that’s processed in a clean enough plant. They are considering removing the raw option from the menu.

6. Shish Kebab! This can be chicken, beef, or even lamb. Chunks of meat slow-roasted on a skewer with lots of vegetables, served over rice… oh, the heaven. There’s a variation of this that Mona’s is famous for. It’s called kefta, and Mona’s makes it with ground beef and lots of cinnamon and other spices. It’s not the most appetizing to look at, but consider where it’s headed once you put it in your mouth. That’s what matters.

7. Greek salad. C’mon, does this need a lot of explanation? Iceberg lettuce, kalamata olives, rings of red onion, feta cheese, cucumber, all liberally doused in a light lemon-garlic-olive oil dressing. Very similar to the dressing for taboule. Only different.

8. Fatoosh. Take the flavors of taboule, add lettuce, baked pita chips, mint, cucumber, and chicken, and you’ve got yourself a main course. If you want to take your leftovers home, Mona’s will give you fresh pita chips, as they will get soggy if not separated out.

9. Spinach pie. dough baked with a spinach-and-onion mixture inside. Big enough for dinner and surprisingly heavy, thanks to the dough.

10. Stuffed cabbage. What, you thought the Eastern Europeans had the market on this stand-by? Not even close. Mona’s will stuff the cabbage leaves with a lamb-and-tomato mixture, and serve it in a homemade tomato sauce that is light and tasty.

11. Moussaka. Layers of eggplant, tomatoes, potatoes, and ground lamb smothered in cheese and accompanied by a light sauce. Mona’s brags that this is their signature dish, but they actually sell more of the kefta.

And for dessert:
12. Halva. Mona imports this sesame-seed candy from Turkey. It arrives wrapped in its own package, like a candy bar. And yes, there are some chocolate-coated varieties available. This is Eric’s not-so-secret indulgence. He never leaves Mona’s without buying a half-dozen — without the chocolate.

13. Baklava. This classic honey-and-nuts dessert in its light phyllo dough really needs no explanation. Unlike most else at Mona’s, this is not baked in-house. Rather, Mona employs an off-site baker whose job is to do nothing but bake trays of baklava, one at a time, with love and care. And lots and lots of honey.

While Mona’s is entirely fictional, this sort of Middle-Eastern menu isn’t. For help and inspiration, I used the guidelines of my own knowledge of these foods (especially as the Tour Manager makes them), as well as the menu from local favorite ali baba. What their website lacks, their food more than makes up for.

Happy eating this week! If I’ve inspired you to try something, be sure to come back and let me know — unless you didn’t like it. No need to make me feel bad!

It’s been a week where it seems that everything has inspired me one way or another. Here are thirteen things that got my brain churning.

1. Taboule. I have cravings for taboule, and it follows that a certain fresh-food-loving character I write about would, too.

2. Mandatory Metallica on XM radio. You long-time readers know about me and my Metallica affliction, especially when the band takes over satellite radio for a month at a time. But it was this line in particular that got me — “Metallica got thrown off our tour bus” — that is so rich with possibilities.

3. Harriet Klausner. Yep, the mega-reviewer over at Amazon. Rife with controversy, this woman who has registered almost 19,000 books at BookCrossing intrigues me.

4. Thanks to Bunnygirl, I learned of this awesome real estate blog called It’s Lovely, I’ll Take It. Most of the pictures make me glad I’ve got this house in this neighborhood, but this picture in particular spoke to me.

5. The rust on the trunk of the car in front of me yesterday.

6. How about this prompt at Easystreet Prompts? Change that street into the scene of a multi-day concert and those people into rockers who have never seen this sort of devastation first-hand before…

7. A dad at Opening Act’s dance studio who walks with a cane. More about that later…

8. Watching YouTube videos of bands I like and seeing their road cases by the side of the stage.

9. A book review that mentions a plot point where the main character falls in love with her professor.

10. Grapes.

11. Pumping gas.

12. A particular pair of blue eyes. And before you try to follow my thoughts, Trevor’s eyes are brown and Mitchell’s are hazel.

13. Bands on tour walking past each other backstage or in hotels, who never get a chance to say anything more than, “Hi, how are you?” to each other.

Look at some of that list, will you? Especially those of you who think you’re not creative. You ARE; it just takes practice. Let life inspire you, and be sure to seek inspiration from others who are Thirteening this week.

1. I’m not a big fan of computer games. I should be writing, not playing games.
2. The Tour Manager plays fantasy stuff on his desktop. We don’t need a console.
3. Then I heard about the Wii Fit. It’d be good for my bad hips.
4. Next came the promise of being able to fly like Shaun White.
5. Around Hanukkah last December, the Wii showed up. So did the Fit.
6. Proving why he’s the Tour Manager, we’d gotten a hell of a deal on it. (Can you see Fit for Free? I sure can!)
7. Then the announcement: Guitar Hero: Metallica. For the Wii.
8. I figured… I suck at making music. I can hear something and tell if it’ll be a hit (or I used to do that, anyway, back in my radio days). But to make it? FAIL. Massive failure.
9. But still…
10. Guess what showed up on my front porch this morning?
11. Guitar Hero: World Tour
12. I had to set it up before the Opening Acts got home from school. You know, to make sure it works right.
13. What do you think? In an alternate fictional reality, are people anxiously awaiting Guitar Hero: ShapeShifter???

Be sure to see what other people are Thirteening about this week. Me, I’m going to pretend I’m Mitchell Voss… or, rather, watch the Tour Manager and the Opening Acts show me how it’s done.

Did you know it’s Read an E-Book week?

No? You must not hang out in the same places I do. Let me tell you a thing or thirteen about e-books.

Getting started: hardware
1. You don’t need a Kindle or a Sony eReader to read e-books. You can read them on your iPhone, your iTouch, or your good old computer screen. I’ve also heard that some people use their Crackberries or PDAs for them. Find your mojo.

2. I yearn for the Sony reader, myself, but am torn as to the 505 or the 700. My local Target has the 505 in stock. Yes, I just checked. No, I’ve never visited it in the store.

About e-Books
3. I’ve got a good twenty e-books stored up on my hard drive, waiting to be read. Among them are releases by my good friend Lex Valentine.

4. e-Books are books like any other. The only difference is that they’re a big computer file. But they have pages and covers and dedications, just like any other book. Some even have illustrations. (No, I’ve not seen an illustrated erotica e-book yet, but I’m sure that’s because I’m not looking in the right places.)

5. Some of the hottest authors out there started in the e-book form. You’d be surprised at how many e-authors have Thirteening in their past. And some in their present! Can you name any?

6. So why am I waiting to read all these great e-books I’ve got saved up? Because whenever I read on either of my computers, I feel guilty about not writing! I need a dedicated reader.

7. People who use readers swear by them. Think about it: you can carry multiple books on an airplane without being weighed down. No need to pack your books at the bottom of the suitcase — or to lug all those pages and spines around. If you’re like me and you like to travel light, this is awesome!

8. We download music. Why not download books??? (but like music, e-books are NOT to be shared. Please don’t commit a crime. Buy your own books, and encourage your friends to do the same. They are generally but not always less expensive than print books. Remember, I said NOT ALWAYS.)

9. Just like real books, dropping an e-reader into the bathtub is very, very bad. However, it’s easier to read on a reader that’s in a plastic bag to keep it dry than it is to read a real book in a plastic bag. How will you turn those pages?

10. You never know if you’ll like it until you try it. There are even promotions where you can download free e-books. Keep your eyes open for them. (And share any that you find out about with the Win a Book team!)

11. E-books are predicted to have the largest sales increases in the entire publishing industry. Even if you don’t like them, they are here to stay. At a minimum, you owe it to yourself to find out what the fuss is all about. (see above for info about freebies!)

12. Yes, you can get an e-copy of my own book, The Demo Tapes: Year 1. Use this link.

13. Yes, we’re working on a version of The Demo Tapes for the Kindle. That’s the Tour Manager’s department, so stay tuned. Now that our best man’s complaining about not being able to get my book on his Kindle, it shouldn’t take too much longer. I hope.

There you go! It’s Read an e-book week, so what are you waiting for??? (Me, I’m reading one called Darc Ages. I’ll let you know when my review of it is up.)

(note to Tour Manager: this is NOT a plug for my birthday present. No matter how many people tell you otherwise, it is NOT a plug. Got that? And yes, boys and girls, the Tour Manager knows me well enough to know I am not a fan of reverse psychology. I’ll get a reader when the time is right and not a moment beforehand, thankyouverymuch.)

If last week’s stress and feelings of crisis weren’t enough, I slept funny last night (probably ’cause there was a cat pressed up against my legs) and now my back is screaming bloody murder at me in six different languages.

Thus, an Easy Thursday Thirteen this week. Yep, things that are easy for our favorite fictional bass player, Trevor Wolff.

1. ShapeShifter’s bass lines.
2. Most girls Trevor picks up.
3. Trevor.
4. Having dinner at Daniel and Val’s.
5. Spending the afternoon in Daniel and Val’s pool instead of practicing.
6. Sound check, especially now that the roadies and techs handle it.
7. Providing the peanut gallery while Mitchell gives an interview.
8. Prodding Eric to make some spiritual comment.
9. Provoking Mitchell to hand out a few swipes to the back of the head is VERY easy.
10. Breakfast. The best meal of the day. Especially at those free hotel buffets.
11. Getting dressed. It’s particularly easy when you never bother to button your shirt.
12. Being on tour. It’s easy ’cause everyone takes care of you.
13. Being part of the Voss family. But then, anything’s easy compared to where Trevor originally came from.

What? You’re not familiar with the indomitable Trevor Wolff??? Where have you been?

And don’t forget to check out the other cool Thursday 13ers! It’s getting bigger and better every week. Don’t miss out on the rebirth of the best meme out there.

It’s been a rough, stressful week, so when I paused before pulling a blind closed last night, it was nice to be able to steal a minute to savor the clear, black sky and the two glistening planets that were visible.

I decided to fill in the blank this week and focus on lovely thoughts for my Thursday Thirteen. Some are real memories, some are fictional; some are real yearnings, some are fictional. I’ll leave it to you to decide which is which, but don’t expect me to set you straight. It’s better when you don’t know.

On a night like this…
1. I wish for a big picture window and a room with nothing in it but a bed. A bed I can move to the perfect spot for making love in the moonlight.

2. I look up and wonder what’s out there. Anyone? Anything more than big hunks of rock and gas that we call planets and stars?

3. I feel a strange yearning for a brightly-lit stage, an enthusiastic audience, and that high you get after a job well-done.

4. I yearn for a cold beer and a quiet, dark back deck. Mosquito-free, please.

5. I remember a summer night spent sitting on the hoods of our cars after a hockey game, the heat and humidity feeling good on our ice-chilled, sweat drenched bodies as we talked until the pre-programmed lights shut off and security gave us funny looks.

6. I wish for a better telescope and the knowledge to use it properly.

7. I think of the times the Tour Manager has offered me his arm, knowing the consequences if I slip on ice.

8. I remember nights on a homemade ice skating rink.

9. I remember hanging outside a tour bus, chatting with the guys in the band. About everything. About nothing.

10. I think about how when I walk out of certain places, the first thing I do is turn my face to the sun. Like being indoors made me need the sun. And now, I need the moon and the stars the same way.

11. I remember pulling over to the side of the road at 3AM or thereabouts, and all of us piling out of two institution-issued minivans to look at the stars. It was my first glimpse of the Milky Way.

12. I remember seeing wolves in the wild and the emotions they conjured.

13. I think of the sunsets I’ve taken the time to savor and store away for dark nights like this, when the planets are bright enough to burst through the suburban light pollution and the night is darker than the darkest nightmare yet it’s not scary. It’s friendly, somehow, giving hope for a better day ahead.

Happy Thursday Thirteen, all.

I was thinking up all sorts of cool Thirteens to do today as I was driving to the salon to spend some time with my favorite diva, but it’s what I found when I got home that swayed me to this particular idea.

I found it first in a Google alert, then in my inbox, and finally in my feed reader. (Or I will, once I get that far into the day’s feeds). IT is a review of The Demo Tapes, written by Anna at Diary of an Eccentric, and I’m over the moon about it. It was like I was reading about a favorite book, not MY book, if that makes sense.

It’s reviews like this that remind me why I do what I do. But there are oh, so many more reasons why…

1. In fiction, I can be anyone. I can have any job. I can explore the world.

2. Characters like Trevor have a way of seeing the world in a way that I don’t. More than once, I’ve been upset about something, only to wake up in the middle of the night hearing him voice the silver lining I hadn’t been able to see.

3. My characters make me laugh and I love to laugh.

4. I get to take stupid things and make magic out of them. Like Buying Chicken. Have you guys read this one? It’s in Demo Tapes: Year 1 if you missed it and want to see it all edited and made pretty.

5. I mean, c’mon. How many of us go to the grocery regularly? What’s fun about it after awhile? Yet Trevor finds a way. Trevor always finds a way.

6. Writing Mitchell and Kerri lets my romantic side, buried under my daily deluge of heavy metal and real life, out. If you missed The Art Book earlier this month, here you go.

7. Many writers will tell you this: writing restores my equilibrium. With the new research into ADD and how it affects girls, if I was a child, I’d be medicated to the gills. Instead, I get to sit and write and feel at peace. Or bitchy, if I’m working on a fight scene.

8. Because I have both my BA and MFA in English writing of some sort (My BA also includes journalism and PR as well as fiction; my MFA is only in creative writing. Only!), if I ever have to find a job, I think “Do you want fries with that?” will become my catchphrase. Despite the journalistic training, I just don’t have the interest to follow up on that. Besides, if you think the state of publishing is bad these days, you should look at newspapers!

9. I do this because everyone says to do what you love and the money will follow. Let me tell you, there is some VERY SLOW money following me. Yes, The Demo Tapes have turned a profit, but I quickly turned that back into the cause.

10. It’s not just writing that I love. It’s books. It’s reading. That’s why I started my Win a Book blog. It’s about sharing that love — and being the change I want to see. I want readers to hear about authors other than the usual suspects. So many really good writers are being told that their sales aren’t high enough for a publisher to support their career anymore. Too many authors are hearing this news. Hopefully, I can help be an agent of change for some of them.

11. The publishing industry is changing by the hour, it sometimes feels like. But one thing that will never change is that readers want to read and writers need to write. That relationship will always continue, no matter what.

12. I love to create, and nothing I’ve tried does it for me. I’m a sucky musician. (There IS a reason why you never get to read ShapeShifter lyrics!) My drawings are often confused for something my kids produced. The one time I tried to knit, my toes wound up as part of the scarf. In other words: I’m useless at anything but this.

13. What I’m trying to say already is that this is who I am. It’s what I do. There are days when it’s hard, when I want to walk away and close down this blog and throw any copies of The Demo Tapes into the recycling… but that’s because I’m human. I need reminders like comments from you guys — and reviews like Anna’s to remind me exactly why I do what I do.

I do it ’cause this is who I am.

Thanks for letting me be myself.

Last year at Valentine’s Day, I talked about why our favorite fictional band, ShapeShifter, doesn’t write love songs. If you missed it, or just would like to remember, visit it here.

Once again, Valentine’s Day is on my mind. This year, I thought I’d focus on the gifts that ShapeShifter fans have given the guys over the years. Now, I’m not talking about the bras that grace the famous Wall of Fame. Nor am I talking about the panties that are flung at the stage or tucked into a jeans pocket.

Nope, I’m talking about the things that have real meaning to the fans. Things they have to share.

Things like…
1. The matching plaid flannel boxers each band member was given one cold December night.

2. The scarf knitted by a woman who worked for the band’s record label. It was an odd color, with enough black and grey to make Mitchell happy but with enough green, Louise said, to bring the green out of his hazel eyes. He wore it for a long time, until it disappeared. He tore apart the band’s dressing room. He tore apart the band’s tour bus. He tore apart Trevor’s suitcases and bunk on the bus, but in the end, it was decided that it must have escaped with Mabel the tenth. If you know the fan who might have the scarf, please ask her to return it. She can keep Mabel, though.

3. One fan, knowing of Daniel’s love of current events, gave him a book. Not just any book, it was a history book. An alternative history book, which some people hold as the truth. It scared Daniel so badly, instead of keeping the bus awake with his snores, he kept them up with the screams from his nightmares — and then his need to talk through them, usually with Eric.

4. This band’s love for home-made baked goods (Key lime pie notwithstanding) is legendary. Some fans think home-made treats are a great way to show affection. Unfortunately, management is more worried about the few who’ll sneak something harmful into those cookies and brownies. The baked goods can’t be eaten.

5. Fans love to express their love for their favorite band member through drawings. Of their favorite band member. Which they give to that band member. According to Trevor, not even Mitchell is vain enough to hang them in his house.

6. Jewelry is a popular gift! While there’s the legend of the girl who removed Mitchell’s dragon earring with her teeth — and then kept it! — the part of that legend that’s not told is that it had been a gift from a fan. Earrings and rings with skulls and dragons are the most popular gifts, but there have been all sorts of things, including a dangly thing for Eric’s unpierced nipple, which was believed to have been pierced and ready for the dangly thing. Ever gracious, Eric said thanks and didn’t raise his shirt to show that nope, there were no piercings there.

7. A small stone bear fetish was once pressed into Eric’s hand, so quietly that he never saw who did it. It hung out on the band’s bus for the rest of the leg of the tour, then got lost during the week-long break before heading to Europe.

8. One guy brought his bass to give to Trevor, hoping it would help make him a better bassist. He wasn’t allowed inside with it, so he mailed it to the band’s manager, JR. It didn’t get any farther than that.

9. One guy gave Eric the knife he was going to use to slit his wrists with. He claimed ShapeShifter’s music saved him. While the band doesn’t doubt he feels that way, they also believe that the guy chose to save himself.

10. One clever girl brought Mitchell a new set of grill tools, including an apron and hot mitts. He shipped those home immediately.

11. The band lost track of who it was originally for, but when a ten-gallon hat was handed over during their first big tour of Texas, it got worn on stage that night. Then they left Texas and it wasn’t cool to wear anymore. It’s since vanished.

12. Girls like to hand over stuffed animals, especially bears, and ask that the guys sleep with them. They get donated to hospitals.

13. One quiet girl said nothing but handed each band member a red rose, solemnly. It was Valentine’s Day, and for once, our four favorite blockheads got it.

This is where I act like all the other bloggers and ask what item of meaning would YOU give to YOUR favorite musician. And, of course, who that musician is. But… since this is me, I’m simply inviting you to do what you want. Just remember, if you don’t leave a comment, I won’t know you stopped by, and I won’t be able to return the visit!

Welcome to another of the new Thursday 13! I’ve got to say, I’m glad people are keeping it around. If you’re a thirteener, be sure to leave me a comment so I know to visit you.

More and more, I’m hearing that to break into publishing with a big publisher (who’ll have a big publicity budget, one would hope), an author of fiction needs to self-publish and get big. But… what’s big? If you’re ShapeShifter, my famed fictional band, big is…

1. Some people say Mitchell is big. He’s six-one. To me, who is married to someone who’s six-four or six-five, that’s not so big. Tall, I mean.

2. There’s no disputing that ShapeShifter’s sound is big.

3. Or their popularity.

4. A lot of that is due to Mitchell’s big dreams and Trevor’s big ambitions.

5. Trevor’s head is big. His ego, I mean.

6. So’s his attitude. Big.

7. And his appetite for women.

8. Yes, he likes them big. He likes them small. He likes everything in between, too.

9. Despite having an overabundance of curls, Daniel’s hair is never big. Long, yes. Big, no.

10. Eric, the son of a Presbyterian minister, has big faith. Thankfully, he doesn’t talk big about it. In fact, for him, faith is quiet and still.

11. Eric’s not real big, either. Six-foot, roughly speaking. Just a hair shorter than Mitchell.

12. Same for Daniel.

13. As for Trevor… well… like I said. His ambition’s big. His ego is big. His attitude is big. His black book is VERY big. But in terms of physical height, he’s looking up at that magic six-foot mark.

Of course, if you know and love the boys already and haven’t gotten a copy of The Demo Tapes yet, what are you waiting for? I have copies here if you’d like them autographed. It’s just one way I am working to make myself as big as my band…

Trevor Wolff doesn’t do reruns. And this Thursday Thirteen thing, all this dying and resurrection drama, it smells of reruns.

But Susan’s insisting. All ’cause of Robin. And Robin… Now there is a woman for you. Strong. Devoted. I bet she could teach Rusty a few things about being cool, too. Even though it was Susan who she said was cool, not me. I’ll have you know, Robin, I’m cooler than Susan can ever hope to be. Got that?

Robin got handed some blog award where she was supposed to tell ten things about herself. She wanted Susan or me to do it.  Susan thought that it’d be fun to get to know this new Thirteen crowd. Maybe remind the old crowd what they’ve been missing.

That means old Trevor gets to do the honors. Ten things about himself, not about Susan. Only, since I’m Trevor Fucking Wolff, I get to forget how to count again and turn ten into thirteen. Which is still better than Mitchell, who’d turn ten into twelve. Idiot’s got his head so far into his music, everything with him’s all about fours.

1. My name’s Trevor Fucking Wolff. Yeah, it’ll be on the quiz. Take notes.

2. I play bass in this band I founded. ShapeShifter. You shoulda heard of us; we fucking thunder. Not rock. Rocking’s for sissies. We thunder. Get the dif?

3. That dork I mentioned, Mitchell. He’s my best friend. Like a brother to me. I lived with his family for two years until I quit high school two days before graduation and Mitchell’s parents told me it was time to move out on my own.

4. I got this rinky-dink apartment over Decade. Still live there.

5.  I have a Vincent. That’s a motorcyle, for you who don’t know better. I rebuilt it mostly by myself. Hammer, Wrench, and Torque helped.

6. I star in Susan’s first book, The Demo Tapes.  You need a copy, if you don’t already have one.

7. It’s chock full of 20 of my favorite adventures. Well, favorite until Susan puts out The Demo Tapes: Year 2.  She’s working on it.

8. Before Mitchell fell in love with this redheaded artist type, he and I tore up the city of Riverview, where we live. Now that he was dumb enough to commit an act of monogamy with Rusty, I rule the city myself. It’s not as much fun as watching Mitchell be a dork.

9. If there’s a willing girl, I’m there. A woman’s body is best appreciated up close. All those curves and soft places; it’s a guy’s fantasy come true. Every single time.

10. One thing no one told us was that the groupies you meet on the way up are the ones you’ll remember the longest. That’s ’cause they do more than spend ten minutes making you happy, ifyouknowwhatTrevormeans. They give you a place to crash when you’re on tour and too broke for a hotel. They feed you after-show dinners and keep the beer flowing and give you Advil in the morning when you had too many beers.

11. Not me, though. My idea of beer’s root beer. I get to laugh at the hungover asses of those three.

12. Susan wrote a book. A novel. When you read it, you’ll get the root beer. And meatball subs. The more copies of The Demo Tapes that you buy, the sooner you’ll get to read the novel. She’s not the only one who promises. I do, too. There’s shit in that book that I’m sick of not being able to tell you about.

13.  How many of you Thirteeners missed old Trevor? ‘Cause Trevor sure missed a lot of you…

Pop quiz: What’s Trevor’s name again?