1. Tour.

2. Play those day-long festivals that are popular.

3. Hang out with the other bands playing the day-long festivals.

4. Find someone in charge who can cough up a grill and some dogs, burgers, and bird. (Bodacious Sauce is a plus but not a requirement) And beer. Don’t forget the beer. That is a requirement.

5. Jam with the cooler members of the bands playing the day-long festivals.

6. Learn the music of the cooler bands.

7. Wear the t-shirts of the cooler bands during the ShapeShifter set. Pimp the
bands from the stage.

8. Storm the stage when said cooler bands are on.

9. Invite them to do the same.

10. When boredom sets in, swap out band members without telling the crowd what’s happening. Make like it’s normal for Howard the Hammer to play in Bitterness.

11. When crowd starts to expect that, stop doing it.

12. Throw new songs — written during the above-mentioned jam sessions — into the concert set. Watch crowd react.

13. Lather, rinse, repeat until fall and time to head into the studio to record a new album.

By the way, that’s not ShapeShifter in the header picture; please don’t confuse my fictional band for a real one!

1. Mold that even Sonya Voss can’t remove during her periodic cleaning sessions.

2. an empty pack of cigarettes

3. overflowing ashtrays

4. a beer or two in the fridge for company

5. ketchup for take-out fries

6. A mountain of napkins from take-out places including Big Buck’s Best Barbecue, Harry’s Hoagies, and the ice cream stand on the way to Daniel’s house and the band’s practice space.

7. matchbooks from the bar below his apartment, Moon Shadows, and All Access.

8. Hostess Cupcakes

9. empty pizza boxes, one of which contains a really old, half-finished piece of pizza. Trevor had considered auctioning it off at a show, but Mitchell refused. It’s been here so long, it’s like a mascot.

10. A backup carburetor for the Vincent that he built himself and may or may not blow up if he tries to use it.

11. A jar of chunky peanut butter with a knife sticking out of it. The knife makes it easier to grab a mouthful on the way out the door.

12. Rolling papers

13. Coupons to Lyric‘s shop.

Look for a new outtake featuring Daniel, Val, and their kitchen over the weekend. And for you meme lovers, another one I’ll let the band answer.

1. A sourdough starter

2. a windowsill herb garden (that overflows onto the patio, in ever-expanding pots)

3. A wide variety of teas

4. Phone numbers for three butchers

5. ten kinds of chocolate and/or cocoa, not counting hidden candy bars

6. A variety of wines, ports, and other highbrow alcoholic delicacies that you wouldn’t expect a rock star to know a thing about. Mostly, he doesn’t. Val, however, does. She’s not a rock star, so your expectation here was met perfectly.

7. Locally produced clover honey

8. chick peas, tahini, lemons (for juicing), and garlic

9. Phone numbers and schedules for the local CSA

10. Ping’s Soy Sauce. Lots of it.

11. Bodacious Sauce. Not quite as much of it.

12. organic cranberry granola bars (Daniel’s favorites. Eric‘s too, come to think about it)

13. One of those undercounter TVs that’s hooked up to the cable in case Daniel starts to go through CNN withdrawal.

And because the voting’s not closed yet…
And if you’ve missed it somehow, Just a reminder… go vote for me!

Yes, I’m totally going to torture you with this until the voting closes on May 22. So go vote, will ya? If you’ve already voted, why not register under another e-mail address? You’ll get to vote again that way!

If you haven’t read the outtakes yet (and why not?) but want to read the Thirteen before you do, let’s just suffice to say that they take place very early in the band’s career, when they are a little more dependent on the kindness of others — but what sometimes seems to be kindness backfires.

Anyway, since it’s summer and since it ties in so nicely, here’s Thirteen Things To Eat While RoadTripping

1. Mountain Dew
2. Potato Chips
3. Oreos
4. Slim Jims
5. apples
6. Peanuts
7. Twizzlers
8. popcorn
9. doughnuts
10. cheap beer (hey, road trips take pit stops!)
11. pizza
12. fast food, especially milkshakes
13. sunflower seeds

Happy trails, everyone!

And because the voting’s not closed yet…
And if you’ve missed it somehow, Just a reminder… go vote for me!

Yes, I’m totally going to torture you with this until the voting closes on May 22. So go vote, will ya? If you’ve already voted, why not register under another e-mail address? You’ll get to vote again that way!

Here you go.

1. orange juice, beer, and Mountain Dew (Mitchell’s drinks of choice, in order of preference, by and large)

2. pancake mix (This is important in the opening chapter of Trevor’s Song.)

3. coffee (Yeah, Kerri goes for it when M’s not around.)

4. brownie mix, as seen here

5. apples, oranges, grapes, and pears

6. Dragon Food — a box of catfood that Kerri recovered and that she uses to threaten him with when he shapeshifts from his usual, mild-mannered self into the dragon his fans know and love.

7. jarred mushrooms, as seen here

8. Salad fixings — varieties of lettuce, bell peppers, cucumber, carrots, broccoli, celery, cauliflower. Most of these make convenient snack foods, too.

9. bread that Val made by hand (no bread machine for her) and gave Kerri, who’d just finished the loaf she’d put in her bread machine. (You think an artist has time to knead dough?)

10. six kinds of balsamic vinegar, as seen here

11. random sketch pads and pencils that Kerri leaves places — the pantry, the kitchen table, the counters

12. potato chips (ever notice how Mitchell’s always eating them? They also have a part in the current WIP.)

13. ice cream, chocolate sauce, and other things that leave the sheets a disaster but are darn fun at the time.

And because the voting’s not closed yet…
And if you’ve missed it somehow, Just a reminder… go vote for me!

Yes, I’m totally going to torture you with this until the voting closes on May 22. So go vote, will ya? If you’ve already voted, why not register under another e-mail address? You’ll get to vote again that way!

One thing I’ve always wanted my fiction to stress is the way in which my rock stars are normal people. Sure, not all of the stars in real life are normal (and not all of the stars I create here at the Meet-and-Greet or in book-length fiction will be), but it’s more fun to relate to real people who are living our dreams than it is to try to relate to some diva who clubs her assistants with her cell phone — and then makes them go buy her a new one.

When I first envisioned Kerri and Mitchell, I couldn’t see them — Mitchell especially — living in one of those houses featured on MTV’s Cribs. So I created the farm house.

Here you go. A glimpse inside (not very Cribs-style, I’m afraid, but if you really want a look inside their refrigerator, ask. It could be fun.)…

1. It used to belong to Mitchell’s parents’ friend Wayne.

2. Wayne sold it to Mitchell for, effectively, peanuts.

3. The house sits on 3 acres on top of a rather steep hill.

4. The land below it used to be farmed, back when Riverview was first founded. It wasn’t particularly good farmland, and was more valuable for its proximity to the growing downtown.

5. The other houses on the street are owned by corporate executives and other rich types (including a few of the Riverview Otter baseball players).

6. When Mitchell bought the house, an old barn remained behind the garage. It was Kerri’s idea to convert the barn into a guest wing that they’d attach to the house. One bedroom for each band member.

7. The kitchen still had a rustic feel and needed to be modernized. Val designed it, and as a wedding gift, stocked it with everything Mitchell and Kerri could possibly need — and a lot they don’t. (Like Mitchell, who hates coffee, would use an espresso machine?)

8. The attic had already been turned into living space; maid’s quarters, to be exact. Mitchell converted it to studio space for Kerri and chopped holes in the roof to install skylights.

9. Wayne had fenced the property, so his dogs could run loose. Mitchell and Kerri decided that would make good fan control.

10. In what had once been a formal parlor, Kerri painted a life-size likeness of the band on the longest wall. The rest of the room is treated as a trophy room, and the room is rarely used.

11. Mitchell and Kerri had the original hardwood refinished. It is in the TV room, kitchen, and front entry.

12. Kerri hates the front entry; it’s too dark and the steps are too close to the front door. Even painting the walls a bright yellow didn’t help open it up.

13. Mitchell’s office is part of the old-barn addition. It’s his retreat and the only reason he can stand doing most of the business stuff the band demands of him.

And because the voting’s not closed yet…
And if you’ve missed it somehow, Just a reminder… go vote for me!

Yes, I’m totally going to torture you with this until the voting closes on May 22. So go vote, will ya? If you’ve already voted, why not register under another e-mail address? You’ll get to vote again that way!

I gave my good friend zzz , and he turned around and gave it right back to me. At first, I was stunned and flabbergasted. But then Wylie asked me about characters on her blog and… well, I’d like to give to Wylie for that post.

Thus…

1. Walter was born because Wylie asked if a rock star could be named Walter. How could I not rise to that challenge?

2. Walter is fifty. He’s been rocking for over thirty years.

3. He’s a guitar purist and innovator. Think Joe Satriani. All guitar, all the time. What can it do? What are the bounds of the instrument, and how can those boundaries be pushed?

4. Walter may have thinning grey hair, but what’s left gets worn back in a ponytail that makes him look more like a hippie than a rocker.

5. Walter has pretty bad arthritis and a really good doctor who keeps his hands limber through advanced pharmaceutical use.

6. Walter has a companion, Lila, who’s been with him for twenty years.

7. Walter’s had a number of gold and platinum records over the years. He’s played for as many as 20,000 during the peaks in his career — and as few as ten during the dips.

8. Grizzled road veteran… that pretty much says it all, right?

9. I think you have to have a certain level of smarts, savvy, and luck to have this sort of career.

10. And good people around you.

11. Hopefully, Walter expands on your idea of a Rock Star. Does a rock star have to be someone who shines all the time, like Mitchell and Trevor? Can you be a star if you’ve never reached the pinnacle?

12. The outtake I’ll post over the weekend may actually be the start to my exploring Walter and writing a novel about him. Be sure you stop back and tell me what you think.

13. So… Wylie and others… from what little you’ve seen so far, CAN a rock star be named Walter?

Lest the Thinking Blogger award fun be over so fast, I’d also like to give it to Colleen Gleason. Read the outtake carefully once I post it and you’ll see why.

And if you’ve missed it somehow, Just a reminder… go vote for me!

Back to Thinking Blogger stuff:

Here are the rules, for you newly tagged folk…

How participation works:

If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme.

Optional: Display the ‘Thinking Blogger Award’ with a link to the post that you wrote.

Since these sorts of things never happen to my ultra-cool cast of characters, and since Trevor’s been pitching a fit lately because the book’s all about him but he’s been rather absent around here lately, I decided to let him talk up his life. Here you go:

1. Being able to say, “I’m in the band” instead of “I’m with the band.”

2. Reps from guitar, bass, and drum companies — not to mention the occasional renegade luthier looking to make a name for him/herself — who offer us free gear. The best of the best gear. The shit we couldn’t afford until now, when they want to give it to us.

3. The ability to look cool wearing leather pants and to not ruffle feathers when it’s eight in the morning and I show up someplace wearing the pair I put on last night. Still.

4. Even ugly fucks like me and snots like Eric turn into chick magnets. We’re still no threat to Mitchell
, but hey, we gotta start somewhere.

5. The chance to prove Hank and Jenny wrong and actually be someone.

6. The bragging rights of having travelled around the world even if most of what got seen was the inside of airplanes, busses, and concert halls. And bathrooms. Don’t forget the lovely variety of bathrooms we get to see while on tour. Very few of them are the type any sane fuck’d write home about. Some smart asshole might want to set a few horror flicks in them, though.

7. Those neat Gold and Platinum Records that one day, I’ll get around to hanging on my walls. Yeah. Uh-huh. Hang shit on the walls. Riiiiigggggghhhhhttt.

8. Having the money for cool cars and homes. Not that I feel any need to move out of my place on top of Decade, but you know. Daniel and Mitchell felt the need, even if Mitchell still drives that God-awful Bronco. Good thing I’ve got the Vincent. It more than makes up for that thing.

9. The end of the speculation that because the band had to sleep in Mitchell’s Dad’s Bronco (later Mitchell’s) on the first tour, we were all gay. Refer back to #4 for the absolute proof as to that one.

10. We never have to be alone. There are always people around, wanting to do shit for us, even if it’s bring me beer I won’t drink or buy us more cigarettes. They don’t care; they’ll do it for the bragging rights.

11. Tickets and backstage passes to any and every concert out there. Especially bands I can’t stand; why are they always the hottest to meet me?

12. Restaurant people who fall all over themselves to give me weird food you didn’t order, rip up the check, and have a busboy pull around the car that Mitchell self-parked.

13. Respect.

one
Kermit Ladd: The question I’ve been sent here to present to you today is how you achieve balance in your lives. You’re these mega-huge rock stars, but you’re also ordinary guys. How do you do it? What is the biggest challenge you face in balancing your lives?
Trevor: Wait. What happened to that babe who called us delicious? Would she like a taste? (He leers. When that gets no reaction, he eyes Mitchell nervously, but the singer merely stretches his legs out before him and casually crosses his feet at the ankles.)
Trevor: Okay, then. Just make sure she knows how to find me.

two
Kermit Ladd: Balance, Trevor. Not women.
Daniel: Why can’t women be the balance? Even if it’s only for two minutes in an elevator, any sane man can get lost in a good woman. There’s your balance. You get that time to forget about performing for an audience and get to think about you.

three
Kermit Ladd: Most people would call that selfish since you’re not caring for your partner. That’s not very balanced — or is that your biggest challenge?
Trevor: My biggest challenge is doing it right. You need both feet on the floor. (He stands up and lifts one foot. Immediately, he sways and has to touch his toe to the ground.) See? My balance sucks.
Eric: There’s real wisdom in there, Trevor. (The bass player turns away, but not before a sneer crosses his face.) There’s a reason people call us stars. They think we belong up there–
Mitchell: In outer space. Like freaks.
Eric: No, M. High in the heavens, with the other celestial beings. Worshipped and celebrated. But the truth is that we’re just people.

four
Kermit Ladd: Exactly. Now, how do you manage to balance your audiences’ expectations?
Mitchell: We make better music and put on great shows.
Eric: We’re approachable. Our fans can come up and talk to us.
Mitchell: Well, they could before they got so thick. We had to hire security to save us from them!

five
Kermit Ladd: So you’ve got the fans. What about being yourselves? How do you maintain that balance between private person and rock figure?
Trevor: Well, Mitchell’s parents kick us in the ass when we need it.
Eric: They remind us to keep both feet on the ground. When we’re at home, not only do we do our own laundry–
Trevor: No, Mitchell’s mom does mine.
Mitchell: Kerri does ours. Won’t let me near it.
Trevor: You turned her favorite panties pink?
Mitchell: No. She said please. Please leave it for me. (He shrugs.) If it makes her happy, I’m all for it.
Daniel: Happy women are good things.
Trevor: Gotta have both feet on the floor to keep a woman happy. Or both knees on the bed. Take your pick.
Daniel: Val‘s happiest when I’m home and paying attention to her. I can be Daniel, not Daniel of ShapeShifter, and I do that because she makes me check my ego at the door.

six
Kermit Ladd: So, sometimes, it does get to your heads?
Eric: We wouldn’t be human if it doesn’t.

seven
Kermit Ladd: How do you come back to Earth?
Mitchell: A roadie stops our prima donna routine over a broken amp by plugging it in. Management calls with something we need to deal with. You kick the garbage all over the kitchen floor and realize you’re the only one home to clean it up and take it out already.
Trevor: Eric and I get stoned. That’s a good way to come back to Earth.
Daniel: Sure beats those announcements the doctors make, telling what you caught this time.

eight
Kermit Ladd: What about priorities? What are your priorities, and how do you meet them?
Mitchell: It’s a dead-heat between Kerri, making music, and running the band. As for taking care of it all (he shrugs), I do what needs to get done. Any spare time’s for me.
Daniel: Ditto. It’s what we do in our spare time that’s different.
Eric: I meet things one at a time and try not to freak about how much lies ahead. It’s about faith: having enough faith that I’ll get through everything and will have time for myself.
Trevor: My priorites are simple: women, girls, bimbos. My bike. Getting stoned. And the band. Possibly in that order, but you need to put girls in between all the other shit.

nine
Kermit Ladd: How about balance in your personal lives, then? Mitchell, you’re married. Daniel, you’ve got a long-time love. How do you balance the demands of the fans with your personal lives?
(Daniel and Mitchell exchange looks, daring each other to go first.)
Mitchell: Sometimes, you have to turn to a fan and ask if they’d mind giving you some space. I hate to do it, but say you’re in the hotel pool, getting some laps in, and they’re standing on the edge, yelling at you to come sign an autograph. What do you do? We deserve down time, too.
Daniel: I had it once at an Otters game. Sitting in the stands, digging the ball field, eating my hot dogs–
Trevor: And Cracker Jack?
Daniel: Wouldn’t be a ball game without it. But there’s this fan, bugging you and not letting you watch the game. You feel like a total heel for asking them to let you alone, but you’ve got to, or suddenly, there’s ten thousand people forgetting they came to watch baseball. Instead, they’re standing in line for your autograph and the team’s gathered on the field, drawing straws to see who gets the privelege of knocking you out.

Ten
Kermit Ladd: What does that have to do with the women in your lives?
Trevor: Nothing, unless they’re at the game, too, and the fans are stepping on them to get to us. I’ve seen it happen.
Mitchell: You told them to do it.
Trevor: Well, the fans weren’t crawling after us, so what did we care? Besides, the girl who got stepped on dumped that dick and ran off with me. I got what I wanted in the end.

eleven
Daniel: I think that sometimes, our fans forget that we are people first. That we can’t be ShapeShifter twenty-four-seven.
Kermit Ladd: Why not?
Eric: We’d only have one foot on the floor. Show him again, Trev.
(Trevor stands and, again, lifts one foot. Again, he quickly wobbles.)
Daniel: See? You’ve gotta have both feet on the ground or you’re useless.
Mitchell: Especially when you need to adjust something on your guitar’s foot pedal without stomping on it.

twelve
Kermit Ladd: You make it sound easy.
Mitchell: Sometimes, it is. Sometimes, we need someone to stand on one foot so they can use the other to kick us in the ass. Especially when we’re on the road and we’re surrounded by people who get paid to say yes to us, no matter what we ask for.
Trevor: No one said yes when I asked to spend a night in the locker room with those cheerleaders.
Mitchell: You could’ve spent the night. You just got pissed when we said you’d have to do it without the girls.
Trevor: What’s the point without them?

thirteen
Kermit Ladd: Final question and it’s back to the women, so please answer it this time. How do your women deal with you guys being on posters that fans pin to their walls?
Eric: We stay in a lot. That way, the girls don’t have to deal with the jealous pettiness of the others.
Daniel: Bodyguards.
Trevor: I let a girl pin me to … okay, not the wall ’cause I don’t get that hardcore. But the floor. With her knees. It was a lot of fun. (He ducks as Mitchell takes a swipe at the back of his head.)
Mitchell: Kerri’s strong enough that when she’s in a bathroom and hears someone saying how they wish she was dead so they could take her place, that sort of thing doesn’t bother her. And when girls come on to me and tell me to forget about her, she laughs in their faces.
Daniel: She likes telling you about the shit she overhears.
Mitchell: And most of it’s shit, too. We all know whose bed I’ll be in.
Trevor: Yeah. Just remind the world you’re the idiot who picked her over all the better ones out there, why don’t you?

Kermit ends the conversation here as Trevor takes off running, Mitchell hot on his heels.

One last note, now that you’ve reached the end: Don’t forget to scroll down to the Buy a Friend a Book Contest. And happy birthday to my blog! It’s one year old today, Wednesday April 4.

2. remote control to the sound system, empty CD cases, and some newish, trendy stuff that keeps getting overlooked in favor of the old favorites.

3. papers JR‘s been waiting on for weeks

4. papers Daniel‘s been waiting on for weeks

5. love drawings, instead of love notes, from Kerri and a sketch of hers that he stole and framed. Conveniently, she’s never noticed it.

6. scraps of paper with random, so-far unused song lyrics scribbled on them

7. the first guitar string he broke onstage

8. bulk quantities of black Sharpies

9. three desk lamps to act as spotlights on strategic piles of papers

10. new lightbulbs for the lamps

11. two years’ worth of music industry trade magazines he intends to read — next time he gets the chance

12. a hairbrush that hasn’t been cleaned since it arrived on the desk even though it gets semi-frequent use

13. an origami dragon folded by one of the crew during ShapeShifter‘s last tour

Anything interesting on your desk?

For those of you who haven’t been here all week, one of you groupies reminded me to tell the Soy Sauce Story. So I did. But then, I realized that I could envision my friends in the fictional city of Riverview having experiences with soy sauce, and that it could be an interesting way to show you guys the inner workings of my writer’s brain. So I let Val and Mitchell star in their own short outtakes, about soy sauce. This week’s Thursday Thirteen ties up all the loose ends — including some that I bet you hadn’t thought of.

1. Ping’s Soy Sauce doesn’t exist, as far as I know. Since very little of Riverview resembles brands and things we’re familiar with, I figured I’d create my own soy sauce, too.

2. I named Ping’s Soy Sauce after a friend. She’ll probably never know this, but I am quite sure that if she finds out, she’ll be embarrassed.

3. Oh, well.

4. I’m not really sure if the couple in Mitchell’s outtake are me and the Tour Manager or not. Yeah, that sounds like a conversation we’d have. But how can we exist in fiction?

5. Following Mitchell’s outtake, he asks Val if he bought the right stuff. She confirms that he did.

6. Since many of you don’t know Val very well, she is the granddaughter of a Chinese national who married an American woman, who then had a son. Thus, the rusty Mandarin.

7. I always thought I’d write about her mixed heritage, but I’ve read so many books about first- or second-generation Americans who struggle with their dual ethnicity, that it’s been done to death.

8. Besides, the current WIP gives her something much more interesting to struggle with. I hope.

9. Why do you want to know what Val and Daniel are doing going out to sex clubs? Don’t be a perv!

10. Anyone else curious to know why an Asian food market is on the way to a sex club?

11. Yes, Val bought her clothes at Lyric’s store. Want more of Lyric?

12. For those who don’t remember, are too lazy to investigate Val’s history, or whatnot, Val is picky about her soy sauce not because of her Chinese roots. She is a graduate of the Riverview Culinary Academy.

13. What do you know. Riverview Culinary Academy’s initials spell RCA. And what do you know, but that’s the name of an old-time record company. See how it all gets back to music? Rock on, my friends.

Thirteen St. Patrick’s Days adventures, as done by the various characters in and around Riverview, USA.

1. The year Trevor, who does have a bit of Irish in him somewhere along the line, put streamers on his Vincent and rode with a cycling group in the St. Patty’s Day Parade.

2. The year Amy told Mitchell that the Riverview State Park had been formed to preserve the leprechauns and their pots of gold, so Mitchell took off for the park — and got horribly lost in the woods. It took Patterson and a group of his colleagues to find the boy, well after sunset. Needless to say, Amy got into a bit of trouble. Mitchell didn’t brave the park alone again for years.

3. Pam makes a ritual of dressing up for the holiday around her exercise class. For St. Patrick’s Day, she wears those cheap cardboard top hats, green tails, green socks, black capri tights, and a green bra top. The tails come off at some point, but the rest stays on.

4. There was the time, early in the band’s career, when they took the stage dressed as leprechauns. Complete with shorts that let bony knees hang out, and fake red beards. Pictures of this do exist — in the scrapbook Amy keeps, of course!

5. The year that dark chocolate was first touted as having health benefits, Amy handed her patients some of those foil-wrapped gold coins that usually show up as Hanukkah gelt. Her older patients were horrified that a doctor would hand out chocolate. Her younger patients were amused. Her female patients laughed the hardest.

6. The staff at Chelle’s newspaper once decided to dress in green to mark St. Patrick’s Day. Chelle went out and found a green shirt and made herself a green skirt. It was quickly decided that Chelle looked like a green M&M, and that she should stick to black, white, and pastels in the future. Chelle hates pastels, but they do look good against her dark skin.

7. The year Daniel and Val began what became a yearly ritual: making shamrock-shaped sugar cookies for his grandmother. When Daniel’s on tour and can’t make the cookies, Val does. She sends half to Daniel’s grandmother and half to him on the road.

8. The time Eric and his older brother Jared strolled into church in the middle of their father’s sermon — faces painted green and wearing full leprechaun clothing.

9. One year during the band’s first tour — the one they drove their way through — Trevor poured a green beer over a blonde he was flirting with. She slapped him (the nerve!) and ran off. Trevor merely shrugged and said she apparently didn’t know much about what made for good foreplay. No one in the band bought his bluster.

10. The year Val was still in culinary school and decided to make a traditional Irish dinner for Daniel and his grandmother, since her own family wasn’t interested. It was one of her few disasters, if only because she didn’t know enough about Irish food to make a palatable meal.

11. When Mitchell was six and Amy eight, she convinced him that their front yard was full of four-leaf clovers — but they’d hide from bad little boys. Mitchell, of course, set out to prove her wrong. He, of course, failed at this.

12. A few years and a lot of culinary school later, Val finally managed to get the Irish dinner right. It’s now something she does annually for Daniel’s grandmother and her older sister, the only people who’re interested in joining her in the tradition.

13. Life isn’t complete without a Shamrock Shake or two for Daniel, Eric, and Mitchell, who sit and slurp happily as the tour bus rolls on…

We all know how Daylight Savings Time affects our kids: they’re cranky for a week as their little bodies adjust to the change. We, ourselves, are out of sorts for a day or two, but we spend at least a week, if not more, complaining about the effects of the change on our kids. But then the increased exposure to light kicks in and all’s good.

However, when you’re in a rock band, the time change can affect things that we ordinary folk don’t think about. I sat down with Mitchell and Charlie, ShapeShifter‘s longtime tour manager, and asked them to enlighten us.

Due to the fact that Mitchell’s already pulling a #5, I decided to summarize rather than expose you prematurely to his adjustment (or lack thereof) issues.

Thus…

Thirteen Things that Suck and Rock about the Switch to Daylight Savings Time

1. An hour less in the day means the band has to be on the bus and hitting the road sooner after a show’s end. That means that…

2. The after-show party has to be cut a bit shorter. After all, getting to the next town on time does take precedence over a party. Believe it or not.

3. A shorter after-show party means … you guessed it. Fewer beers consumed (leading to a less severe hangover) and … yes, it’s true. Fewer girls.

4. But on a good note, it’s in the band’s tour rider that the bus is to be stocked with food for the trip to the next city. Often, though, the food doesn’t get put away. An hour less of sleep means that the food is discovered an hour earlier, which means maybe the stuff prone to spoiling won’t. Since the guys often don’t discover the spoilage effect until it’s too late, this can often be a very good thing.

5. Another good thing is that no one sleeps well on a tour bus (and I don’t care if you say you’re the exception. You’re not! NO ONE sleeps well on a tour bus). The switch to Daylight Savings Time means one less hour of crappy sleep on the bus.

6. This lost hour of sleep makes Mitchell a very cranky boy, indeed. You thought kids were bad? They’re nothing on a sleep-deprived Mitchell Voss. Because, after all, this time switch was done just to fuck with him, don’tcha know. (That is how Trevor likes to put it, just before he ducks one of Mitchell’s swinging fists.)

7. And, of course, there’s the issue of time zones, states that don’t recognize Daylight Savings, and a band that already has no clue what time it is. Keeping track of such issues is a very important part of a tour manager’s job.

8. Daylight Savings Time heralds the onset of spring. If you watch the band’s road crew carefully, you’ll notice the smokers among them who, when coming outside for a smoke break, turn their faces to the sun, eyes shut. So much better than that weak wintry sun.

9. With springtime comes another important moment for the road crew — the day when the merchandise tables change. There are fewer sweatshirts for sale and more tank tops. The crew loves this change because, let’s face it, 100 tank tops in a box weigh less than 50 sweatshirts in a same-sized box.

10. New merchandise means more sales. Which makes everyone happy.

11. The shedding of winter jackets and other bulky clothes makes for a neater bus, as coats and whatnot aren’t left laying around. (It will be months before Eric’s missing glove reappears, and when it does, another band will be using this bus and poor Eric will never get his glove back because, of course, the finder of the glove is smart enough to recognize a souvenir when she sees one.)

12. Shedding of clothes is always welcome in the ShapeShifter camp.

13. Of course, when you’re ShapeShifter, the only time that really matters is show time. Part of the magic of a ShapeShifter show is that it happens at the same time every night, no matter what time zone you’re in: thirty minutes after the warm-up act ends.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1. I have a million TTs written up that I’ll never be able to use.

2. My Technorati ranking will plummet.

3. I’ll miss my weekly visits with all of you at your blogs.

4. In seventeen weeks, I’ve built my week around this and it’ll be like when a kid loses a tooth and can’t keep his tongue out of the hole.

5. When LeeAnn said she was going to institute changes, I was excited because I didn’t think she meant this.

6. This was FUN, period. The only meme I participated in, and I love it.

7. I won’t get to meet cool new people each week.

8. Doing TTs about my fictional characters helped me grow them and round them out, making my fiction better.

9. I’ll probably forget to send LeeAnn a free copy of Trevor’s Song, whenever it comes out, because she won’t be foremost in my mind anymore.

10. I found that you guys, my readers, inspire me to greater and greater heights. I love that. You’ve helped me broaden my world and I hope you’ll keep on doing so.

11. I hate crying, and this has me crying.

12. Change is good. Change is good. Maybe if I say it enough, I’ll believe it. (Nah)

13. I HATE GOODBYES!!!!

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been helping you guys get to know the characters of Trevor’s Song in more depth. Here’s some more about the star of this show, Trevor Wolff.

Thirteen reasons why Trevor picked up the bass

1. Four strings means two less to learn.

2. Mitchell told him to.

3. Bass players are moody, elusive, and hypnotic.

4. Bass players were in short supply in Riverview at the time they decided to create the band.

5. Anything in short supply is in demand and therefore hot. Desirable. Maybe even respected.

6. Bass can be as much or as little as you want to make it, and it all sounds good.

7. Bass is the backbone of the metal sound even though most people don’t pay attention to it.

8. It’d piss off Hank once he heard what his son was doing.

9. Mitchell’s sister Amy bet him he couldn’t do it (jury’s still out on who won that bet).

10. It seemed the easiest thing to learn to play if he was going to be in this band he was dreaming up.

11. He could practice in his and Mitchell’s room and not the garage, like if he had drums.

12. Mitchell’s father, Patterson, showed up one night with a used bass in the back of his car and said that Trevor didn’t need to pay him back for it if he’d learn to play it.

13. Whenever someone says he can’t, that’s a sign that he must.

Have you been following the Debut a Debut submissions? See them here and expose yourselves to some great new reads. Be sure to stop in on the 19th to see who won our store of great prizes!

Special thanks to Heather for the cool banners!

For Valentine’s Day, I thought I’d give the men of ShapeShifter their say, since I gave some of the women a chance to speak at Hanukkah. I asked them what sorts of things they consider to be turn-ons. Here’s what they had to say:

1. Mitchell: Watching Kerri put in or take out her earrings. There’s just something about that little head-tilt she does and the way her eyes go all soft and fuzzy…

2. Trevor: Save me before I puke, will ya? For me, it’s a quick flash from the second row.

[Ed — Trevor ducks as Mitchell takes a swipe at the back of his head. Eric shakes his head in disgust.]

3. Eric: A letter from one of the girls I’ve been involved with. Someone who takes the time to write and then figure out where we’ll be and get it to the right spot at the right time. It shows she cares, and a girl who cares is a turn-on.

4. Daniel: Long, painted, manicured nails–
Trevor: That leave scratches! Oh, yeah!
Daniel: No.

5. Mitchell: A woman who’s comfortable naked–

6. Daniel: and who has jet-black hair that’s long, cut perfectly even at the bottom, moves in a single sheet, and turns blue in certain lights…
Mitchell: Does that describe anyone we know?
Trevor: Yeah, like Val?
Daniel: Maybe.

7. Eric: Speaking of Val, a sincere woman’s a turn on.

[Ed — as Trevor opens his mouth, Mitchell growls and balls his hand into a fist. Trevor suddenly yawns.]

8. Mitchell: So’s chocolate sauce, many flavors of schnapps, and someone who doesn’t mind a bit of a mess.
Daniel: Or ice cream. Someone who doesn’t mind a bit of ice cream is a turn-on.
Eric: All the usuals. Whipped cream–
Mitchell: Can’t believe I forgot that one!
Eric: Massage oil.
Trevor: Call Lyric! She’s got a store full of shit that’ll turn any normal person on.
Mitchell: And some who aren’t normal, too.

9. Mitchell: Speaking of normal, I’ve yet to meet the man who isn’t turned on watching a woman unzip the back of her dress.

[Ed — band nods and licks their lips.]

10. Eric: Except for the ones who pick their hair up off their necks and turn their backs to you, so you can unzip for them. Slowly.
Trevor: What’s the fun of slow? Just get to it.
Mitchell: You loser.
Trevor: You’re one to talk.

[Ed — again, Mitchell takes a swipe at the back of Trevor’s head. It’s a harder blow this time and Trevor mouths the word “Ow.”]

11. Daniel: Heels. The higher, the better.

[Ed — band nods in knowing agreement.]

12. Trevor: Short skirts that you can see up when they sit.
Daniel: Or the ones that hint at what you want to see.

13. Trevor: Enough of this shit already! The ultimate turn-on is a woman, plain and simple. They’re built for it, all tits and curves and giggles and all the other good noises they make and the way they squirm! It’s a woman’s sole purpose in life to turn us on, and it’s our sole purpose in life to try out every single one of them, in every single way, position, and style possible. No matter what they do, they turn us on. That’s their job, and that’s all there is to it.
Mitchell: Shit, Trev, I didn’t know you could say all that in one breath.
Daniel: I thought women were here to make us dinner?
Mitchell: Only if your girl’s a chef. Like Val.
Daniel: Oh, okay, then.

I hope you’re all busy reading for the Debut a Debut contest — we open for entries on Monday. I am eager to see what you guys have chosen!!! If you can’t enter this time, stay tuned for a fun summer contest, as well as a plan to do another Debut a Debut next year.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

If you haven’t been here in a few days, this place has been jumping. Be sure to scroll down for the latest Debut a Debut news and author suggestions. (Have you checked out Tasha Alexander’s And Only to Deceive? You historical and mystery fans should check it out!) Special thanks to Heather for the cool banners!

Over the past few weeks, we’ve spent some time with Mitchell Voss, rhythm guitarist, vocalist, and frontman all around of ShapeShifter. In Trevor’s Song, Mitchell has to share the spotlight with a true scene stealer: Trevor Wolff. (nevermind that the book is actually Trevor’s story. Bet you didn’t get that from the title.)

Here’s some bits about Trevor. Follow the links to read older outtakes that you might have missed, or to revisit them if you’ve already seen them. Some of them are among my most favorite moments in outtake history.

1. Trevor is the second-oldest of four. He has two brothers and a sister.

2. Jeremy, the oldest, and Hank Jr. (HJ) are carbon copies of their father. Trevor’s always surprised that they don’t reappear in his life, demanding money.

3. Trevor always assumed he’d scrape by in life, even though he always dreamed of something more.

4. He found a way to get that something more when he met Amy. (read about it!)

5. The first thing Trevor bought with his band money was his Vincent.

6. It wasn’t in very good shape, and he talked local mechanics, Wrench, Hammer, and Torque, into teaching him how to fix it up himself.

7. Other than his bass and women, Trevor loves his Vincent maybe more than life itself.

8. And does Trevor Wolff love the women! He goes through them the way a person with a cold goes through a box of tissues — and with the same understanding that this isn’t going to last much beyond the clean-up.

9. Fortunately for Trevor, the girls love him back. Frequently, imaginatively, and satisfyingly. (is that a word?)

10. Trevor firmly believes that life is worth living, not merely coasting through. He’ll try most anything once.

11. Despite a rather dark and disturbing upbringing, Trevor loves to laugh, play jokes, and be outrageous.

12. Trevor calls Mitchell’s wife Rusty because after their first date, Mitchell said he was done with girls unless things with Kerri didn’t work out. Thus, she caused Mitchell to grow Rusty.

13. No one really buys the fact that Trevor’s in love with Kerri. But they all pretend to, so that Trevor can save face.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

2. They are all roughly the same age. Trevor and Daniel are a year older than Mitchell and Eric.

3. They love all their fans, but show it most obviously to the female variety. The males just get autographs and pictures.

4. Mitchell and Daniel are the band’s heartthrobs and mouthpieces.

5. Mitchell can be quite cranky to the media.

6. Trevor came up with the band name. In the beginning, they had a typical ShapeShifter concept. Each band member had an animal: Mitchell the dragon, Daniel the bear, Eric the eagle and Trevor Wolff was … a wolf.

7. The concept was soon considered too hokey to be allowed to continue. But Mitchell is still considered a dragon by many.

8. The band’s first tour happened before they had a record deal. They piled into Mitchell’s father’s Bronco, attached a U-haul to the back, and off they went.

9. They did everything in the back of that Bronco. It’s a wonder the truck survived. But it did.

10. Mitchell is still driving it during Trevor’s Song.

11. They love to hang out in pools (witness Green Hair Week) — and in pool halls, shooting 8-ball.

12. They love to make commando runs on ice cream stands before leaving town. Fans often try to guess where they’ll stop. The ice cream shops love the added business.

13. They’ll stop and talk music with you as long as they possibly can. Make sure what you say reflects the fact that you’ve got a brain in your head (with the obvious exception of someone obviously tongue-tied at having a discussion with ShapeShifter).

Don’t forget to Debut a Debut!

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

We had such a good time last week talking about Mitchell, and he is one of my favorite characters, so I thought I’d bring you a bit more about him.

After all, my meme contest is still ongoing for a few more days and while I’ve started to draw up some of the awards, there’s still room for your entry. Get in on the fun and win yourself some books!

Thirteen More Things about Mitchell:

1. Boxers or briefs? Thanks to Kerri, boxer briefs. Before that, K-Mart specials to swap with the girls.

2. Favorite childhood birthday gift: One of those wooden mazes with the unstable surface that you had to navigate the marble through

3. Favorite adult birthday gift: Amy gave him one of those horrible Troll dolls as a gag. It now lives in his wardrobe case and rules the roost in there.

4. Toy he couldn’t be separated from: a stuffed dog that he named Williams

5. Top of his game batting average: .295

6. First sentence: Amy hurt me!

7. Favorite bachelor food aside from beer: orange juice

8. Favorite unit of study in school: Astronomy

9. First thing he learned how to cook: hamburgers. On the grill, of course

10. What he was shopping for when he met Kerri: tomatoes

11. How he knew his parents approved of his final career choice: Sonya gave him a silver dragon ring that he never takes the stage without.

12. First thing he bought with ShapeShifter money: a custom Les Paul.

13. Worst job he ever had: helping haul sets around Riverview’s flailing community access TV station.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Although Trevor’s Song is, presumably, about Trevor Wolff, Mitchell Voss figures pretty prominently into what goes on during the story — and in what happens before and after, too. So here are some facts about Mitchell, so you have a better idea of who you’re dealing with.

1. His blonde hair is an impossible color. So blonde it’s almost white, shot through with strands of silver and gold to give it depth. Trevor hates Mitchell’s hair; he thinks it’s a chick magnet. He’s right.

2. Before he picked up a guitar, Mitchell wanted to be a pro baseball player. He had potential, too, but soon discovered you got more girls with a guitar.

3. Once he learned the requisite three chords of rock and roll, he realized that making music was what he was meant to do. And getting girls paled in comparison to what he could make a guitar do.

4. He’s the youngest of three kids. His two older siblings, Beth and Amy, torment him endlessly in that lovingly sisterly way. Especially Amy.

5. He torments the girls back, especially Amy. One of his favorite stunts as a teen was walking naked from the bathroom to his bedroom when she had friends over. He, of course, had to walk right past her room. And if the door was shut, he, of course, had to interrupt for something.

6. He never once considered going to college or trade school. He was going to make it without any of that. And he did.

7. Once Trevor talked him into putting the band together, he found a way to pay for voice lessons. Self-taught on guitar, he also took music theory classes at Riverview Music Consortium. But that’s not going to college. It’s taking a class to learn about music.

8. Mitchell loves to grill. Not cook. Grill. If it can’t be grilled, he won’t make it. That said, he grills odd things (brownies?). Or… tries to.

9. When he moved out of his parents’ house, he rented a rat trap apartment within walking distance to All Access. He stayed in that apartment even after he could afford something nicer, only leaving it for the farm house.

10. He loves to swim and play in the pool with the rest of the band when they’re on the road. Laps are his friend; he doesn’t have to think much.

11. At home, he’ll add mountain biking to his hobbies. And taking up space in Daniel and Val’s pool.

12. His public persona as a dick is merely a show. Even though he is a major dick at times.

13. Mitchell was quite happy being a cigarette-smoking stud when he met Kerri. One date with her — the date that opens Trevor’s Song, in fact — and all that changed.

Don’t forget to scroll down, now that you know Mitchell a bit better, and enter the meme contest. Books galore to the winners. I’m taking entries until the 20th of January, so put on your creativity caps and have at it.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)