Deadly Metal Hatchet Fiction: Fozzy’s Skateboard


So you came here, expecting to read about this fictional ShapeShifter band. Nope. Not today. I’ve been playing with this idea for the other band that’s starting to test the waters here, and finally had the time/energy to get it down. If you’re new to Deadly Metal Hatchet, they are a baby band — as compared to ShapeShifter’s world domination — who are more about the Deadly Metal Hatchet, their gimmick, then they are about music. In a word, they suck. But they aren’t letting that stop them.

Lido could only stare when Fozzy pulled it out of his road case. If it had been Scott or Gecko, he wouldn’t have blinked or thought twice or anything like that. But this was Fozzy. He who hated having his picture taken, even when he was wearing jeans and long-sleeved shirts. Not that he had scars on his arm, but that was Fozzy for you. He’d almost died in a motorcycle accident; he was allowed to be weird about certain things.

“You for real?” Scott asked as Fozzy set it on the floor and put a foot on the deck, testing its stability.


“But… Fozz…” Lido paused, not sure how to word this. Fozzy could be sensitive — too freaking sensitive, as Scott would say — about anything that might make any one of them bring up the motorcycle accident.

And, of course, Fozzy was glaring at him. Daring him to go there.

Lido could hear the Hatchet panting.

He held up his hands. “It’s just not you, man. That’s all.”

Fozzy laughed that bitter, harsh laugh that made Lido cringe. It was the sound of the Hatchet and as much as Lido loved the band’s gimmick, he hated when Fozzy tried to bring it into their lives like this.

“It’s not me,” Fozzy said and laughed again. “Like you’d fucking know.”

Scott eased over so he was standing beside Lido, like he was getting ready in case Fozzy charged. Scott was really the only one who could defuse Fozzy when he got like this, but Lido wasn’t so ready to hand the control over.

Without ideas of what to say next, Lido started to rethink that idea of control.

Fozzy moved his leg back and forth. The wheels made a cool sound.

“Do that again,” Lido said, tilting his head to listen. When Fozzy did, he sang a few nonsense syllables along.

Scott patted Lido on the shoulder as Fozzy nodded and stepped up onto the skateboard. He wobbled immediately and jumped off — and glared at Scott and Lido, as if he was expecting them to laugh at him.

Lido just shrugged. “Guess it takes practice.”

“We’ve got plenty of time for that,” Scott said, glancing at his watch as if it meant something. It didn’t. Not really. Their tour manager would round them up when they needed to get ready to go on stage. All they had to do was find a way to kill the time between now and then.

“I know,” Fozzy said. “That’s why I did this.” He tried the skateboard again and managed to stay on a hair longer.

Scott touched Lido’s shoulder, telling him to stop staring and come along. In typical Fozzy fashion, the guy didn’t want an audience.

It was enough to make you wonder why the guy had picked up the guitar in the first place. But then again, with Fozzy, most things made you wonder.

Like what you see? Want to know more about Deadly Metal Hatchet? There’s not a lot yet, but if you follow this link (or the one above, the first time their name appears), it’ll take you to their bio page, which links to more fiction about them. Happy reading and be sure to leave comments, even on the old posts!



  1. gautami tripathy

    June 9, 2008 8:38 am

    I think I am gonna like this new band too. For starters, I love the names!BR/BR/*grin*

  2. Gene Bach

    June 9, 2008 10:18 am

    I found a deal on my brother’s blog about using some random words to make up a very short story. That was fun but that’s all the writing I’ve done for quite awhile. I evny folks who can do it all the time.BR/BR/Hey, stop by my blog…the last 2 days I’ve posted a true story about the first of my family to come to the west coast in the 1850’s written by one of the family members.BR/BR/Gene

  3. Rambler

    June 9, 2008 11:51 am

    looks like a cool new band 🙂

  4. Winter

    June 9, 2008 1:32 pm

    Funny thing about skateboards. I found a pic of Rafael Lazzini on a skateboard. I mean, anything to see more of him without a shirt but… I guess you don’t expect to see Ford models on skateboards. Made me glad I’d chosen him as the physical representation of Roman the werewolf. BR/BR/Fozzy, well he’s just an introspective kinda guy isn’t he? I mean, it’s to be expected cause of the accident and all, right? ;)BR/BR/Nice work, Susan!

  5. Thomma Lyn

    June 9, 2008 2:26 pm

    I get a great sense of Fozzy and his band mates from reading this — and of their band and their musical aspirations. Yup, I’d say plenty of practice is in order for them. But I think they’d prefer to practice their image.BR/BR/They are very colorful characters! And I love their band name. 🙂

  6. bunnygirl

    June 9, 2008 8:09 pm

    I never got into skateboards but I’ve always known guys who did. Ah, memories!

  7. Amy Ruttan

    June 9, 2008 8:29 pm

    I haven’t seen these guys since that one vague post … last year was it??BR/BR/Looking forward to meeting them 🙂

  8. Susan Helene Gottfried

    June 9, 2008 8:31 pm

    No, there’s been a bit more from them. And more to come yet, too. Stay tuned. I’ve got at least one that I can think of saved for later.

  9. Julia Smith

    June 9, 2008 8:56 pm

    As always, Susan, your characters have a whole history attached to them that makes me want to know more and more. Fozzy, Lido, Gecko and Scott – those really are great names! Especially Scott the Defuser.

  10. Ann

    June 9, 2008 10:53 pm

    I never was into skateboards, especially after my sister did a faceplant falling off of one (no scars, but hurt like hell). Great names for the band, can’t wait to read more. 🙂

  11. Danika / OpenChannel

    June 10, 2008 12:11 am

    In a word, they suck. But they aren’t letting that stop them.BR/BR/That’s the spirit!BR/BR/This has a great rhythm and tone to it.BR/BR/I live this: He’d almost died in a motorcycle accident; he was allowed to be weird about certain things.

  12. Robin

    June 10, 2008 2:28 am

    I like the interplay between Scott and Lido. A lot was said without words.

  13. anthonynorth

    June 10, 2008 10:20 am

    More great characters. And daring, too!BR/Don’t like skateboards.

  14. Donica Covey

    June 11, 2008 11:01 am

    I’ve read your stuff about these guys before and you know how I feel–I LOVE THEM!!! I want more chicka!BR/BR/Well, I’m back to work.BR/BR/HugzBR/Donica

  15. Donica Covey

    June 11, 2008 11:03 am

    Hey just a note–your link to the information on Fozzy and the band isn’t working. I clicked and all I received was an error message. BR/BR/HugzBR/D

  16. LDRodriguez

    October 18, 2009 11:39 pm

    “I never was into skateboards, especially after my sister did a faceplant falling off of one (no scars, but hurt like hell).” Haha, that’s the one thing a helmet CAN’T protect you from!

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