Fiction Outtake: Deadly Metal Hatchet Intro (Post-Trevor’s Song Era)


Welcome to this week’s Poetry Train! This is a multi-day commitment, so be sure you’ve got me in your reader. You won’t want to miss the fun that’s Deadly Metal Hatchet.

Security bought the band a measure of privacy in the club’s lobby. That and the fact that Deadly Metal Hatchet, the night’s headliner, was still on stage.

“So what do you think?” Daniel asked anxiously.

Val yawned and patted her lips with her fingertips in a gesture of bare politeness.

Mitchell ignored her. “I think their sound sucks, but that could be the venue, not the band.”

“How many times did we have that problem,” Eric mused.

Mitchell ignored him, too. “They’ve got a good following,” he said. “Does it extend outside of Phoenix?”

“I think so,” Daniel said. “I asked JR that, and he said people are talking more about the Hatchet than the band’s music, though.”

Mitchell stroked his chin and tried to think. If people were more into the band’s mascot than the band’s music, ticket sales wouldn’t necessarily follow. Daniel was hoping that they could find a support act that would bring in some people who otherwise would have avoided ShapeShifter shows. This wasn’t necessarily the band to do that.

As Daniel and Eric discussed the Hatchet, Mitchell wandered over to the poster of the Hatchet that Kerri was studying. “What do you think?”

“This is some nice art. Not technically great, but that’s part of its success. It’s crude enough to make you think this is some guy’s fantasy, disturbing as that thought is, but at the same time, that’s what makes it. It’s easy to relate to.”

“I meant the music,” Mitchell said, wondering if that was true. Of course he knew that when Kerri was standing in front of a piece of art and you asked what she thought, all you got from her was art.

She shrugged. “It’s okay. I like you guys better, but I’m biased.”

“Would you get excited about seeing the two bands together?”

“If I could buy a new Hatchet shirt, sure.”

He shook his head and told himself she was giving him exactly what he was asking for. Kerri may have kept her radio tuned to KRVR back in the days before they’d met, but that hadn’t meant she’d had a clue who he was when he’d introduced himself to her. She wasn’t a music fan, much as it pained him to admit that.

They rejoined the band. Daniel gave him an expectant look, which he answered with a shrug. “Talk to JR. I think you might be right that we’re a natural fit for each other and with a gimmick like the Hatchet, it’s only a matter of time before that band gets big.”

“As big as us?” Eric asked.

Mitchell shrugged again. “Not with that sound guy working for them.” He gave him a sly smile. “Maybe we should bring whoever it is on tour with us. Not give them the chance to get as big as us.”

“I don’t think they will,” Daniel said thoughtfully. “But the Hatchet sure might.”

Mitchell laughed. “Good. We get a piece of their sales, remember?”



  1. Red Garnier

    July 22, 2007 10:48 pm

    Susan, I am such a dodo. Every time I stopped by I saw the contest, so I was writing this on it;BR/BR/Me again. Popping by to say HI!!! When is this contest over already? I want to hear updates from Trevor and my dearest Susan Helene. Grrrrrrrrr . . . =) Looks like I’ll just HAVE to post something!BR/BR/AND THEN I GOT HIT BY LIGHTNING. AND SCROLLED DOWN AND…yey!!! Your posts.Trevor. You. I’m all excited now, lol!

  2. Rhian / Crowwoman

    July 22, 2007 11:01 pm

    heh. I like Kerri – she’s no nonsense and straight forward!

  3. Ann

    July 22, 2007 11:29 pm

    cool post, shows the interaction of the characters. Thanks.

  4. bunnygirl

    July 23, 2007 1:08 am

    This looks fun. I’m very intrigued, though, by the poster. Kerri’s description made me wish I could see it!

  5. Joy Renee

    July 23, 2007 5:40 am

    all art whatever the medium si so hard to talk about. that is what Mitchell’s attempted dialogs here remind me of anyway.BR/BR/so am i picking up that this is exerpts from a new novel in the workds? same story world as Trevor’s Song but a new story?

  6. Susan Helene Gottfried

    July 23, 2007 7:34 am

    Red, yes, you’re a dodo. Which is why I love you. *grin*BR/BR/Rhi, yep, Kerri’s no-nonsense. She’s the character most like me, in fact. I can’t believe how little of her there is on this blog!!BR/BR/Bunny, no fears. More of the Hatchet to come!BR/BR/And Joy Renee, this is an expansion of my fictional world. Not a new novel — yet. I created DMH awhile back, needing to have another band running around out there. Keep your eyes peeled; you’ll be seeing the world expand yet more.

  7. T.A.Chase

    July 23, 2007 8:48 am

    Can’t wait for more, Susan. I love your world. 🙂 and the characters you have populating it.

  8. Rhet

    July 23, 2007 10:32 am

    “…yawned and patted her lips with her fingertips in a gesture of bare politeness….”BR/BR/Great wordsmithy girlfriend.BR/BR/There is a good reason why I avoid fiction, I get too embroiled in the characters – and emotionally involved. Jaysus, I used to cry at the end of each episode of ‘Lassie’ when she would raise her paw as if to ‘shake hands’.BR/I restrict myself to Textbooks now – AND NOW YOUR STUFF!!!!BR/Damn you. Damn you all to hell!

  9. julia

    July 23, 2007 10:49 am

    I love the strategy behind taking on an opening act. Good but not too good. Lend him their sound man or let them hang themselves. It’s like Caesar’s Rome.

  10. Rhian / Crowwoman

    July 23, 2007 11:26 am

    Red! Cast your eyes AWAY from Trevor! Right now! Don’t make me hurt you. He’s mine. (Standing arms akimbo)

  11. Susan Helene Gottfried

    July 23, 2007 11:29 am

    Uhh… Rhi? Trevor’s not even IN this outtake.BR/BR/But if you two want to fight, he’ll gladly grease you both up and lay some plastic down…

  12. Rhian / Crowwoman

    July 23, 2007 11:44 am

    But Susan! It’s her fault! She started it by mentioning his name! BR/I KNOW he wasn’t in this one – i thought i did a good job of containing my pouty factor. BR/BR/See Red – i was close – maybe not mudwrestling but Susan is standing back to watch the show. I recommend you just concede and let me have Trevor. I hate it when the body grease gets in my hair.

  13. Susan Helene Gottfried

    July 23, 2007 11:46 am

    Trevor cupped his hands around the cigarette he was lighting, knowing all eyes were on him. BR/BR/”Since you hate grease so much, how’s Jell-O?”

  14. Red Garnier

    July 23, 2007 11:54 am

    *cracking knuckles one, two, three times*BR/BR/Ok, see what you’ve done Trevor? Now you got yourself a catfight!! Meow, purr, raaargh! I win!BR/BR/Rhian, wench, are you okay? Can you stand? My GOODNESS, that eye looks swollen!BR/BR/LMAO!!!!!!

  15. Joely Sue Burkhart

    July 23, 2007 12:10 pm

    Oh, man, reading the comments about the Jell-O Smackdown is just as good as reading the fiction outtake!!

  16. Rhian / Crowwoman

    July 23, 2007 12:20 pm


  17. Red Garnier

    July 23, 2007 1:18 pm

    Swoon? Wench, you NEVER swoon!! BR/BR/I thought you were coming back at me with a right-hand hook!BR/BR/Seriously. Now please, please, please. Smell the salts. Come on WAKE UP, RHIAN. Rise and shine. Come on, wench, we need you. Okay, you can have Trevor. He’s yours, all yours. Just DON’T LEAVE US! Waaaaaaa…

  18. Susan Helene Gottfried

    July 23, 2007 1:21 pm

    Trevor would like to take this moment to point out that he likes having two women at once. Especially inventive, experienced women like these two.BR/BR/But watching them fight’s almost as good.

  19. Rhian / Crowwoman

    July 23, 2007 2:03 pm

    dang delayed responses! I was swooning over Trev and jello. Okay – this was funnier.BR/I would like every one to take note that it is in writing – Trevor is MINE!!! (so I might not be above playing dirty to get my way.) Everyone look away – i need to kiss and make up with Red.

  20. Finlands finest

    July 23, 2007 2:04 pm

    I like the poster description. I’d definately be interested to read more!!

  21. Susan Helene Gottfried

    July 23, 2007 2:06 pm

    …but Trevor LIKES to watch women make up. Particularly when they do it in his dressing room or somewhere near a bed.

  22. Rhian / Crowwoman

    July 23, 2007 2:26 pm

    hmmmm – only if Trev lets me pick the woman. Red’s already said we can only be friends.

  23. Rhet

    July 23, 2007 2:26 pm

    Jell-O is not a good lubricant for this sort of bustle. It loses its lubricity with heat and friction.BR/What you need is a Non-Newtonian fluid which liquifies with a shear force as opposed to heat. The more friction, the slippy it gets.BR/Canola Oil is apropos, and a Canadian derived product to boot.BR/In future, before you should want to delve into the wonderful world of Physics/Chemistry/Biology, check with me, your in-house geek.BR/BR/I suspect Red and Corvuswoman would only find Trevor wanting, him being a Yankee and all.BR/Am I jealous? Does it show that much?

  24. Red Garnier

    July 23, 2007 2:27 pm

    Rhian you are so sneaky. I was shaking in my pants that you wouldn’t revive with the smelling salts. BR/BR/Then I went on wondering if just kicking the beejezus out of you had been a little too much. I completely lost style back there!BR/BR/And then here I thought I’d knocked you down, and you were swooning over a MAN. (Okay, I know, Trev’s not just ANY man…) but anyways. This is foul play and a rematch would be in order. BR/BR/*cracking knuckles again, nostrils flaring, pulling pants up to my waist*

  25. Susan Helene Gottfried

    July 23, 2007 2:33 pm

    Rhet, Trevor IS a man to be jealous of. He’s a rock star, after all! And we switched from oil to Jell-O when Rhian complained about getting oil in her hair. Got other ideas? Trevor sort of likes pudding; it’s more fun to lick off.BR/BR/Rhian, yes, you may choose someone other than Red, since she’s not willing to play properly with you.BR/BR/And Red, stop picking on Rhian. You’ll get your turn with Trevor. No sloppy seconds, either, but a good, proper session. BR/BR/Either of you care to hold up a wall in the shower? Mitchell and Kerri already have one, but there are a few more to be had…

  26. Red Garnier

    July 23, 2007 2:41 pm

    *Red gasping!* BR/But she started!BR/*pointing at Rhian*BR/She emailed me and said to get my butt down here and fight and I am very obedient when Rhian says. And then she goes all girly on me and swoons.BR/*pouting*BR/And now she doesn’t even want to kiss me!!BR/*pouting more, all teary eyed.*BR/She wants to pick another girl!BR/*wailing full-heartedly now*BR/BR/P.S. Are we getting royalies on this?

  27. Susan Helene Gottfried

    July 23, 2007 2:44 pm

    Royalties. Sure. BR/BR/You each can have 10%.BR/BR/Of course, ten percent of nothing’s … nothing. But at least we’re all making the same amount!BR/BR/And YOU’re the one who told Rhian you only wanted to be friends. You left out any mention of benefits, you know…

  28. Rhian / Crowwoman

    July 23, 2007 2:48 pm

    LMAO!!! Y’all are killing me! I’m sitting in the office, sneaking back online to check the latest and bursting out howling. Ooops. Dead giveaway that i’m not doing what i’m SUPPOSED to be doing!BR/BR/Pudding WOULD be fun! Red – yer my best girl, really shug! i just wanted to see you beg a little. What say you – Trev, you, me – tonight out by the pool? We’ll even let Susan watch.BR/sigh…. OKAY! Okay! You can watch too Rhet.

  29. Susan Helene Gottfried

    July 23, 2007 2:54 pm

    Work??BR/BR/WTF is THAT?????????

  30. Red Garnier

    July 23, 2007 3:00 pm

    *Red making a remarkable recovery, no more residue tears now*BR/BR/Weally, Rhian? BR/BR/Okay then my flight leaves at four!BR/BR/=)

  31. Dewey

    July 23, 2007 4:31 pm

    Kerri is so cool.

  32. Rebecca

    July 23, 2007 5:12 pm

    Intriguing extract Susan – you do great dialogue!!BR/BR/weirdo comments, but! 😉

  33. Rhet

    July 23, 2007 8:30 pm

    Trevor a Rock Star?BR/Ha!BR/I rest my case! The fantasy and the fact are quite divergent with that lot. I know of which I speak.BR/Rhian – Watch?BR/Ha! I’ll watch Trevor ravage the two of you for his patented 15 seconds and then I will take each of you in turn to nirvana, and via a circuitous two hour route I might add.BR/Trevor can watch, take notes, fetch towels and provide comestibles and restoratives.BR/Ok no oil, I’ll go back to the lab and work something out. Chocolate flavoured?BR/Red? Ignoring me? You will of course pay for that.

  34. Nancy

    July 23, 2007 9:34 pm

    I like this. When do we get to see that poster???

  35. Susan Helene Gottfried

    July 23, 2007 9:38 pm

    Nancy, when someone is kind enough to draw it for me (and accept my coaching into how it should look), of course!BR/BR/Any takers???? Lots of link love for you, at a minimum…

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