Fiction Outtake: Pam Gets Attention


Pantera sang of Cowboys From Hell. They ain’t got nothing on Pam Derbish, Groupie From Hell.

So Molly and I are there in the front row of the ShapeShifter show last night. It’s getting pretty full at ShapeShifter shows now and it’s not so easy to get up to that front row anymore. Word’s out. They’re playing stuff from the new album, which’ll be their first big record. And we’re not the only girls there anymore, us and that hippie chick who’s always hanging around. Not by a longshot. I don’t know a lot of the girls who’re showing up these days. The funny thing is how they all act like they’ve got a right to the band. Like they’ve been there since the start. Like they really think so!

The mosh pit is churning behind us and every now and then I have to put an elbow into some overheated, overexcited jerk who thinks that shows are only about moshing and not about the music or the band or any of the really important stuff. I’m not even so sure that some of them are into moshing. Sometimes, you get these newbies who think it’s all about crashing into people senselessly. But a good pit, I’ve been learning by being so near them, has rules.

So Molly and I are right in front. I can reach out and touch the top of the monitor right in front of Mitchell‘s feet, so I put my hands there. To show everyone I belong. I igore the dirty looks from the other girls, the new ones who think Mitchell is their turf. We’ll see about that.

If I were just a bit taller, say if I could get a foothold on the edge of the stage, I could reach over the thing and touch Mitchell’s foot. That’s how close I am. That’s my spot and God help the bitch who tries to take it from me.

I about died when it happened. I mean, Molly says I should have expected it. We’ve been to how many shows? And hung out near the backstage door after each and every one? We’ve done everything but throw ourselves at them. It was overdue, I suppose. She says it was so overdue, the library stopped charging. I don’t think I get that, but I don’t care. Because it finally happened.

Right after they do Phases of the Moon, Mitchell bends down and picks up the Gatorade on the floor near his foot. “Hey, girls. Good to see you tonight,” he says as he takes the cap off the bottle. I watched his throat as he drank. I wanted to lick the sweat off it.

Molly says he blushed when he talked to us. I say his face was already red from singing and playing and exerting. But Molly insists we made him blush.

Whatever. I don’t really care. All that’s important is that he noticed me! Mitchell Voss noticed me!

He talked to me! He knew I’m alive! Omigod, I think I might die of it. Mitchell Voss. He’s so amazingly hot. I wish I could do more than lick the sweat off his neck.

I didn’t sleep last night. I’ve got classes today, but I’m as awake and energized as if I slept for two days. Mitchell Voss knows I’m alive!

And because the voting’s not closed yet…
And if you’ve missed it somehow, Just a reminder… go vote for me!
My site was nominated for The Blogitzer! My site was nominated for Best Blog Design!

My site was nominated for Best Blog of All Time! My site was nominated for Hottest Mommy Blogger!

Yes, I’m totally going to torture you with this until the voting closes on May 22. So go vote, will ya? If you’ve already voted, why not register under another e-mail address? You’ll get to vote again that way!



  1. cheesygiraffe

    April 30, 2007 9:22 am

    Now Pam is truly a orginial ShapeShifter groupie. She’s in heaven now that M talked to her too. I can imagine being that young and the lead singer of my favorite band talking to me. That would have been the ultimate.

  2. Rhian / Crowwoman

    April 30, 2007 9:24 am

    thanks for hopping on the Poetry Train Susan! You totally took me back to my misspent youth. (ohmahgawd – he noticed me!)BR/heh.

  3. julia

    April 30, 2007 10:08 am

    I loved Pam’s delirium of joy after the Big Notice. What female can’t relate to that?BR/BR/I didn’t know there was mosh pit ettiquette, but why not?

  4. Emily Veinglory

    April 30, 2007 10:25 am

    That takes me back, been some time since I was in a mosh pit…

  5. Amy Ruttan

    April 30, 2007 4:34 pm

    Great addition!!!BR/BR/Next Monday I’ll give you a really dirty limerick. hehehehe.

  6. Daisy Dexter Dobbs

    May 1, 2007 12:13 pm

    You really captured the feeling of that special time in a girl’s life, Susan. Wonderful outtake! 😀

  7. Thomma Lyn

    May 1, 2007 9:31 pm

    Hee hee, what fun! I enjoy your outtakes. 🙂

  8. Carmi

    May 1, 2007 11:27 pm

    I’ll vote for you if you vote for me :)BR/BR/I’ve always enjoyed discovering acts long before anyone else. Then I’ve endured the inevitable disappointment as the rest of the world chimes in and jumps on the bandwagon. Fandom doesn’t seem as enjoyable after that tipping point is reached.BR/BR/Maybe I’m just an iconoclast.

  9. Susan Helene Gottfried

    May 2, 2007 7:44 am

    I thought I already voted for you! Well, I’ll go check to be sure.BR/BR/As for the bandwagon, I’m usually up near the front of them, especially when it comes to music (Hey, I was the first in the city of Pittsburgh to play Alice in Chains). I figure there’s plenty of room on the bandwagon… behind me.

  10. Sparky Duck

    May 2, 2007 3:33 pm

    psycho! oh and pam sound crazy too :)BR/BR/and everyone knows that back in the day there were rules to the mosh pit, now its just kick someone in the head.

  11. L^2

    May 2, 2007 5:04 pm

    Fantastic fangirl moment!

  12. karen!

    May 3, 2007 9:45 am

    How did I miss an outtake?!BR/BR/I have definitely been slacking off.BR/BR/oooh, I like what Julia send about Pam’s “delirium of joy” – what a nice way of putting it 😉

  13. anthonynorth

    February 29, 2008 7:42 pm

    As I’ve been up there, torturing the strings – 🙂

  14. UL

    March 1, 2008 2:57 am

    it mus feel so good to be noticed…

  15. paris parfait

    March 1, 2008 4:35 pm

    Great story! I never knew there was etiquette for the mosh pit. 🙂

  16. tumblewords

    March 1, 2008 5:58 pm

    Nice piece! Rings with the truth of now and the memories of old.

  17. Rambler

    March 3, 2008 10:41 am

    nice story!

  18. Jeques

    March 3, 2008 3:15 pm

    I love the thrill factor in this piece. Everyone love to get a thrill, even guys!BR/BR/I wish you well.BR/BR/~ Jeques

  19. Rob Kistner

    March 3, 2008 6:06 pm

    It has been fascinating to follow this fabric your weaving here…BR/most enjoyable. 😉

  20. anthonynorth

    March 15, 2008 5:48 am

    It’s a whole, marvellous world you’ve got here.

  21. Rambler

    March 15, 2008 12:06 pm

    hey nice story..

  22. paisley

    March 15, 2008 8:09 pm

    congrats on the nominations… and as always an excellent scene… you make it all come to life!!!!

  23. jadey

    March 16, 2008 11:23 pm

    I enjoyed this post. Congrats on your nomination.

  24. Robin

    June 20, 2008 5:54 pm

    Ahh, youth, when absolutely anything is possible…

  25. danni

    June 21, 2008 2:23 pm

    how well i remember these feelings and experiences – wow!!!

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