Monday Poetry Train: Burying Treasure


Written for Rhian’s Poetry Train. I think it’s self-explanatory!

Looking back
Over old poems written years ago

I see their beauty
Recognize their pain
Love their nostalgia
And fear their power
To wound

I’ve come so far since then
Learned what love really is
Brushed the past under the carpet
And walked on it,
Like you walk over crumbs
That you promise yourself you’ll vaccuum up later
But never remember to do

Doesn’t matter where I am now,
I suppose.
Not when there’s another who might see
Who might be hurt
Torn raw
And opened to a fiction that reads like truth
Instead of the fantasy it was
And the truth it could never be.

Maybe under the carpet’s not deep enough.

Maybe I need to take this part of my past
Into my treed backyard
And dig a hole
And bury them there, my poems.

I’ll mark the spot
With a rock, a stick, an old bird’s nest
So that when the nostalgia hits
I can visit them and dream again

About things I wished were a different way

Even as I know
That as good as I wanted them to be
They could never be as good
As things are now.

Don’t forget to check out the Summer Hidden Treasures Contest! And if you haven’t been here for a few days, scroll on down and catch up with Kerri



  1. Pearl

    June 25, 2007 9:00 am

    Poems are a good porthole to nostalgia but now, yes. Better yet.

  2. Rhian / Crowwoman

    June 25, 2007 9:01 am

    oh Susan – this is wonderful and beautiful and a poem i can 100% relate to. I love the marking the poetry grave with a bird’s nest…

  3. julia

    June 25, 2007 9:49 am

    Wow – this is really great! Love the whole tone of the piece, the wry wisdom. I especially love:BR/BR/”Brushed the past under the carpetBR/And walked on it,BR/Like you walk over crumbsBR/That you promise yourself you’ll vaccuum up laterBR/But never remember to do”BR/BR/Then “Maybe under the carpet’s not deep enough.”BR/BR/Really enjoyed this.

  4. karen!

    June 25, 2007 10:14 am

    I love this poem and definitely felt a little pull in my heart as I read it.

  5. Uisce

    June 25, 2007 10:57 am

    hey, I wrote a poem today — I can’t reveal it, because it’s got state secrets in it. OK, I’ll sanitize it so you can see how very special it was.BR/BR/just this adjective nounBR/BR/will we see that adjective adjectiveBR/BR/noun of nounBR/BR/–BR/BR/damn, it used to be a haiku but I verb’ed it up pretty adjective.

  6. Susan Helene Gottfried

    June 25, 2007 11:02 am

    U, not only is it wonderful to see you around here again, but you crack me up. BR/BR/Rock on, my friend. BR/BR/And thanks, everyone! You guys have me so full of myself, I’m considering starting to submit some of these around!!!

  7. Lisa Andel

    June 25, 2007 11:12 am

    Bury them deep, or they’re likely to haunt your todays. 😉

  8. cheesygiraffe

    June 25, 2007 11:14 am

    I remember those poems. I had them myself. Teen angst. sigh

  9. Susan Helene Gottfried

    June 25, 2007 11:15 am

    Mine were more grad school and the first year or two beyond, but same idea. All about men.

  10. Robin L. Rotham

    June 25, 2007 12:59 pm

    What a fantastic poem! It’s just amazing how much emotion vibrates from it without being obvious. Lovely, Susan!

  11. Haley-O

    June 25, 2007 1:44 pm

    Oooo, beauty! I have one poem out there that makes me shudder. It was published, so I can’t exactly bury it. But, I love that it’s out there, at the same time….BR/BR/I love the range of emotion in this poem. Great ending, too….

  12. Joy Renee

    June 25, 2007 2:09 pm

    Love the imagery of this:BR/Brushed the past under the carpetBR/And walked on it,BR/Like you walk over crumbsBR/That you promise yourself you’ll vaccuum up laterBR/But never remember to doBR/BR/I buried a similar ‘treasure’ a few weeks before my wedding. not under a tree but under the bottom drawer of a built-in desk in my room. i hoped to be able to come back to them like a time-capsule in five, ten or twenty years. but i discovered a couple years later that my parents had found them while remodling that room and chucked them with the rest of the dust-bunnies of time past.

  13. littlebirdblue

    June 25, 2007 2:59 pm

    :::clapping for Susan:::

  14. MyUtopia

    June 25, 2007 3:07 pm

    Wow, that is really nice!

  15. T.A.Chase

    June 25, 2007 4:01 pm

    I love the line..”open to a fiction that reads like truth” because to me that’s what a good fiction story is supposed to do. (even though I know it’s fiction, I want to feel like it’s really happening)BR/BR/Great poem, Susan.

  16. Dewey

    June 25, 2007 5:23 pm

    So bittersweet! And for some reason I keep thinking the poetry thing is Friday. I’ll go find something to post.


    June 25, 2007 6:14 pm

    Susan, as always, I love your posts. This poem is amazing!!!! You had me right here:BR/I see their beautyBR/Recognize their painBR/Love their nostalgia BR/And fear their powerBR/To woundBR/BR/At the start!! LOVE IT! Goodluck with the writing and enjoy the family time!

  18. Ann

    June 25, 2007 7:07 pm

    Wonderful poem, loved the images.

  19. Jenny McB

    June 25, 2007 8:33 pm

    I really liked the beginning and to me, it mellowed out, kind of like maturing….It was a subtle twist at the end. Made me think of what I might have written in the past to come back and haunt me.

  20. Wylie Kinson

    June 25, 2007 9:19 pm

    Another meme for your queue, SHG! It’s a quick one and a great filler.BR/btw – yes, I went to the gym but I’ve done some injury to my knee so had to take it easy on the treadmill. No more Red Bull and Bike Demon for a while!BR/BR/Cheers,BR/Wylie

  21. Susan Helene Gottfried

    June 25, 2007 9:22 pm

    Ugh, knees. The Tour Manager did his in last week. Tomorrow’s doctor day and I’m a bit nervous about the mini-vacation we just booked…

  22. Wylie Kinson

    June 25, 2007 9:27 pm

    Sorry! I was tagging/linking as I was writing the post – so hadn’t hit ‘POST’ yet :)BR/Didn’t expect you to be so quick 🙂

  23. Susan Helene Gottfried

    June 25, 2007 9:28 pm

    Trevor taught me how to be lightning fast and utterly satisfying. BR/BR/*grin*

  24. Lisa Andel

    June 25, 2007 11:16 pm

    You had to look twice though, before you noticed the beds. 😉

  25. Sparky Duck

    June 26, 2007 12:16 am

    Susan that was quite powerful!BR/BR/stop by to see why I am blathering Salonga

  26. Christine

    June 26, 2007 12:30 am

    I can relate to this poem, so well. BR/BR/I especially loved: BR/BR/I see their beautyBR/Recognize their painBR/Love their nostalgiaBR/And fear their powerBR/To woundBR/BR/I tagged you for a short meme – details are on my site. BR/BR/Thinking of you, XINE

  27. Rhian / Crowwoman

    June 26, 2007 7:31 am

    Susan – RE: last comment…BR/whoa… was that jealousy i just felt nip at me? grin!

  28. Finlands finest

    June 26, 2007 9:46 am

    That is exactly how I feel. That was a fantastic poem!

  29. Amy Ruttan

    June 26, 2007 10:23 am

    Sorry I am day late reading your wonderful poem. Things were hairy to say the least yesterday.BR/BR/Beautiful poem my friend!

  30. Susan Helene Gottfried

    June 26, 2007 10:42 am

    Better late than never, Amy. You know I’m always here.BR/BR/Hope the hairy things got a hair cut and life is better today. I’ll check in with you to make sure.

  31. L^2

    June 26, 2007 5:43 pm

    Sorry I’m late too, but this is a fantastic poem, as always, Susan. I can definitely relate, as I have some poetry from my college days that really needs to be buried.

  32. Linda

    June 27, 2007 9:04 am

    Oh, how wonderfully PERFECT that poem is! I have so many old poems, almost always written about the “boys” in my past. First the “oh how I love him” and then the “you broke my heart” poems. Scary. I would follow the advice in this poem and bury them…but we move so much, I think I’d forget where they were buried!BR/BR/Michele sent me!

  33. Marcia (MeeAugraphie)

    July 1, 2007 8:22 pm

    Pretty powerful words there, woman. I agree the entire carpet analogy was great.

  34. Camille Alexa

    July 23, 2007 10:15 pm

    Susan-BR/My connection’s acting up. Hope my comment went through.

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