Monday Poetry Train: Camp


I’m still exhausted from the camping weekend, so here’s a sort-of haiku. Let me know if I actually managed to get the syllable count right. I’m too tired to count that high.

Muscles honed at the gym
Carry me easily
Tempting normality

If you didn’t follow the end of the adventures of the Deadly Metal Hatchet, or if you need an update on Summer’s Hidden Treasures, scroll on down. It got quiet here while I was gone!



  1. gautami tripathy

    July 30, 2007 8:21 am

    Though not strictly a haiku. But beautiful nevertheless.

  2. Rhet

    July 30, 2007 9:43 am

    Tempting normality?BR/BR/That is good!

  3. julia

    July 30, 2007 9:56 am

    Hey – nice haiku! I think the syllables are nominally 5-7-5, but your lines here with 3 sets of 6 give a nicer balance. I find a lot of haikus that play around with the syllable count.BR/BR/Glad to hear you’re back from the camp. Hope it was fun as well as exhausting.

  4. Lisa Andel

    July 30, 2007 11:31 am

    Morning Susan. Welcome home. My servers were down yesterday, so I didn’t see your comment until today.BR/BR/Nice haiku (of a sort). Julia is right on the count, but I know there are several different versions out there, so you must of hit one of them. 😀

  5. Susan Helene Gottfried

    July 30, 2007 11:32 am

    Maybe we ought to call it the Susan Form? *grin*

  6. Amy Ruttan

    July 30, 2007 11:48 am

    ROFL. I couldn’t stop laughing, that’s how I feel ALL the time, and I work out a bit (I’ve been skipping the gym recently.) Whoops.

  7. Rhian / Crowwoman

    July 30, 2007 5:15 pm

    i liked tempting normality. shocking, eh?

  8. Ann

    July 30, 2007 5:51 pm

    Cool, your own haiku (form). Cool poem.

  9. Sophisticated Writer

    July 30, 2007 8:08 pm

    You have to tell me about that storm 🙂 Glad you’re back. By the way I wanted to give you the Schmooze award but Thomma already did it :-)BR/BR/Why I’d give it to you? You leave smiles and friendly steps wherever you go and you always have time to check on me and post a comment or two :DBR/BR/Be well.

  10. Sparky Duck

    July 31, 2007 12:23 am

    well, its just means you had alot of cathcing up to do. For a haiku, this was very very good

  11. Dewey

    July 31, 2007 11:33 am

    Nice Susan-form haiku! I especially like the last line.

  12. Camille Alexa

    July 31, 2007 2:51 pm

    I like camping poetry. I think it should be its own category.

  13. Crafty Green Poet

    August 1, 2007 3:13 pm

    the syllable count isn’t the most important part of a haiku. Given the difference between Japanese and English syllables, literary haiku writers in English use 5-7-5 as upper limits rather than a strict rule. Having said that its not strictly a haiku for other reasons too complicated to go into here. But it reads well as a short haiku-esque poem nonetheless

  14. Susan Helene Gottfried

    August 1, 2007 3:19 pm

    I remember the rules from elementary or junior high school being pretty strict, as far as haikus go. But that’s about the extent of it!BR/BR/Thanks for the input — I’m always up for learning new things.

  15. Jenny McB

    August 13, 2007 5:51 pm

    At least the muscles were honed…brave woman to camp.. Welcome back.

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