Monday Poetry Train: What I Want


This actually took on a different resonance after I wrote it. Maybe it’s keeping with the whole thinking about the Alpha thing. I don’t know. You tell me.


The house is silent except for the music
Pouring out of my computer.
So much easier than the CD player behind me
But maybe not what I want to hear.

What I want…
I’m not sure anymore.

I know that much.

I know that, too.

But how much of each
I can have
At any one time
On any given day…

There’s the question.

I’ve stood here
Balanced on the edge of a double-edged sword
For what feels like forever even though
It’s only been years.


I’ve worked hard,
I’ve barely worked.

Nothing produces what I want it to.

And thus,
I don’t know what I want anymore.

Except for a quiet house,
Music pouring out of the computer,
And the time to figure it all out.

Be sure to check out the other poems and fun on this week’s Poetry Train! More from the band in a day or two, and be sure to stop in for this week’s Thursday Thirteen. It’ll be one for the Hall of Fame. *snicker*



  1. Jenny McB

    September 9, 2007 11:22 pm

    Is this written as a mother or as a writer? Could be both, and that’s what I like about this poem. You think you’re in control, but still you’re not sure what you want to control.BR/BR/Asks more than answers…this poem could fit my life right now.

  2. Lisa Andel

    September 9, 2007 11:40 pm

    More and less. Yeah, I see myself in this poem, though I think I’m a little closer to knowing what I want than you are. Don’t know if it will stay that way or not.BR/BR/Still, quiet, music, and time are highly valued here.

  3. Nancy

    September 10, 2007 7:24 am

    Are you me? LOL! I am so getting this. I want time to figure it out as well.

  4. gautami tripathy

    September 10, 2007 9:03 am

    Sometimes we can figure it out. I like this state of reflective contemplation. It takes us to our inner being. BR/BR/A thoughtful piece of work.

  5. julia

    September 10, 2007 9:59 am

    Really enjoyed this, Susan! I also scrolled down to catch up on your Alpha tale. A fascinating post, considering your insight about tearing things apart in order to resew it. Alpha rejected growth, but his ‘pack’ rejected him by not caving into his demand. Good move, I think. It leaves him as King of the Castle, but an empty castle.BR/BR/Which flows nicely into today’s poem. These lines are my favorite:BR/”I’ve worked hard,BR/I’ve barely worked”BR/BR/Really succinct and punchy.

  6. Anne Douglas

    September 10, 2007 10:23 am

    Life is ever a contradiction, isn’t it. It’s never enough, but it’s too much all at the same time.

  7. Bob-kat

    September 10, 2007 10:33 am

    That is a great poem. It really holds some resonance with me as there are themes there that I have been tackling in my life.BR/BR/Thanks for your lovely and kind comments on my blog about my dear niece. It looks like the funeral will be on the 18th. If you wish to wear something bright for her then pink and yellow (lellow she used to call it) were her favourites as were shiny and sparkly jewellery. Thanks again, your support means a lot.

  8. rhet

    September 10, 2007 11:58 am

    Be thankful it is not the Sword of Damocles.BR/Aye, there’s the rub!

  9. cheesygiraffe

    September 10, 2007 1:02 pm

    Wow very insightful Susan. I think it fits my life also. Is it because I’m a mom or woman or maybe just because I’m human?

  10. Lila

    September 10, 2007 1:03 pm

    “Except for a quiet house,BR/Music pouring out of the computer,BR/And the time to figure it all out.”BR/BR/This is brilliant. Simple, but sometimes you forget that what you may really want is time to know yourself, and therefore know what you want.

  11. spyscribbler

    September 10, 2007 2:36 pm

    Wow, that’s a poem that speaks to the heart. It says what I feel, so often!BR/BR/Thanks for sharing!

  12. Amy Ruttan

    September 10, 2007 6:11 pm

    I have a felt that way many, many times. Felt that way Friday for example. Great poem sweetie!

  13. T.A.Chase

    September 10, 2007 7:33 pm

    I like this poem, Susan. It says a lot about how we tend to think we have everything figured out and then realize we only have a small piece of it worked out in our minds.

  14. Wylie Kinson

    September 10, 2007 9:34 pm

    OMG SHG, you have just completely summed up my life in the past 2 years. Reading it sent shivers up my arms…BR/Simple words, complicated feelings.BR/Thanks 🙂

  15. L^2

    September 11, 2007 12:08 am

    Wow Susan! How did you crawl into my head? LOL BR/Seriously though, this is fantastic.

  16. Susan Helene Gottfried

    September 11, 2007 7:49 am

    Glad you guys get it and it’s not just me!

  17. Ann

    September 11, 2007 9:33 am

    No, Susan, it definitely is not just you. I think we all go throught periods where we need quiet, music, and time to figure things out. Hope you figure things out.

  18. Rhian / Crowwoman

    September 11, 2007 9:40 am

    i had to digest this one for a day Susan. very powerful and thought provoking… digging around in the subconscious.BR/i can relate to it on many levels and these lines in particular:BR/”I’ve stood hereBR/Balanced on the edge of a double-edged swordBR/For what feels like forever even thoughBR/It’s only been years.”

  19. Rhian / Crowwoman

    September 11, 2007 8:10 pm

    why does that snicker regarding upcoming TT set off tiny alarm bells? (biting nails as i return to stare repeatedly at your blog.)

  20. Susan Helene Gottfried

    September 11, 2007 9:09 pm

    ‘Cause you inspired it. :DBR/BR/And yes, come back often. I need the hits. *even bigger grin*

  21. Marcia (MeeAugraphie)

    September 14, 2007 7:42 pm

    “Except for a quiet house,BR/Music pouring out of the computer,BR/And the time to figure it all out.”BR/BR/As long as the music is pouring out of the computer, we will figure it out.

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