ShapeShifter Fiction: Bean Dip Concludes


You guys are really into this bean dip… Hope what follows doesn’t disappoint, as the bean dip is mostly absent. Mostly.

If you’re a bit lost, this is the earlier post, setting up this lovely scene.

Erica knew how to stock a backstage dressing room, that was for sure. Daniel asked Mitchell to remember to include some of the things she thought of — ice cream sandwiches for after the show, and gummy candies beforehand — whenever ShapeShifter got big enough to have a catering rider.

“Shit, I’ll ask for the ice cream from now on,” Mitchell laughed. It had been a stroke of genius on Erica’s part; nice and cool after the hot set. They’d all gotten headaches and nasty head rushes, but fuck if it hadn’t been worth it.

Back at Erica’s flat, Mitchell got friendly with a six-pack and crashed. The other three stayed up with their hostess, met her boyfriend — a hulking biker type, apparently — and talked the night away. Mitchell had trouble believing they’d stayed up and talked without getting drunk or stoned; it took awhile in the morning before anyone would admit to both.

They were in pretty good moods as Mitchell pulled the Bronco out of the narrow city street that Erica lived on and followed her directions to the Northbound freeway. After its brief cleaning, the truck smelled better, the weather was good for driving — not raining, not too bright; just perfect — and so Daniel and Mitchell fell into a discussion of how many t-shirts they had left and how many more copies of their small-label release they’d need to have shipped out when it started.

Eric farted.

Not to be outdone, Trevor burped. Then farted.

“Oh, shit, here we go,” Daniel muttered.

Mitchell tried not to smile. “She did feed us Mexican food last night.”

“Knowing fully well we’d be stuck together in a small space when it kicked in,” Daniel pointed out.

Eric groaned with pleasure as he farted again.

Mitchell could practically feel Trevor’s brain working, trying to find another way to top him.

“Trev,” he said in his most serious voice, “give me your lighter.”

“Ooh!” Mitchell envisioned Trevor’s eyes lighting up as he understood what Mitchell was trying to prevent. “Nope, I think I need a smoke.”

“Four guys who smoke, stuck in a truck the morning after a midnight Mexican feast,” Daniel said, then farted noisily. “This is not going to be pretty.”

“Let’s get the windows open,” Eric said, waving a hand in front of his face. “It’s already nasty back here.”

“So open the fucking windows,” Mitchell snarled, reaching for the map.

“Don’t do it, man,” Daniel said softly. “Going back without a plan’s never a good idea.”

Mitchell glared at him. The tooting in the back continued, accompanied by a burping contest.

“We’ll get our revenge on her,” Daniel said with a definitive nod.


“Beats the shit out of me, but I’m sure we can find something. We’re ShapeShifter. No one fucks with us like this.”

Mitchell had to sigh as he opened his window and let go of the tight hold he’d had on himself. “I think, Dans, that she did.”

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  1. karen!

    May 8, 2007 11:31 am

    Happy Tuesday.BR/BR/he he he… four stinky guys in a truck for a long drive.

  2. julia

    May 8, 2007 6:39 pm

    Okay, I laughed when Eric farted. I checked out the related intro to Erica and loved the fact that the band had five cents between them. And that hording money only resulted in a bag of chips. Why do I think that’s so funny? Only my local bank branch that cashes rolls of pennies knows for sure.

  3. cheesygiraffe

    May 8, 2007 8:08 pm

    hehehe You said fart.

  4. Susan Helene Gottfried

    May 8, 2007 10:12 pm

    Yes, yes I did.

  5. Sparky Duck

    May 8, 2007 11:08 pm

    what the world surely needs is more farting fiction

  6. Rashenbo

    May 9, 2007 11:25 am

    LOL!!! I read this yesterday and chuckled for a while. I just read it again today. It’s so funny :DBR/BR/So… here you go. A little song to celebrate: BR/BR/Beans, Beans, BR/The Magical Fruit!BR/The more you eat, BR/The more you TOOT!BR/BR/My kids love singing that when dad eats the beans! :DBR/BR/Oh, I tagged you for another one of those memes going around. I also mentioned that it might be interesting to see 8 facts about the mother of one of the band members. *hint* Whack with a stick *hint*BR/BR/:D


    May 9, 2007 12:05 pm

    LOL, THIS IS FUNNY!BR/BR/Susan, I hope you don’t mind I tagged you with a meme Rhian tagged ME with . . . you need to write 8 wonderful things about you . . . and tag 8 people! =)BR/BR/Red

  8. Amy Ruttan

    May 9, 2007 3:27 pm

    LOL! Ok you’re right I wouldn’t want that.

  9. anthonynorth

    April 4, 2008 6:41 pm

    And it’s happening right this minute, in a room not far from you :-)BR/Universal male behaviour.

  10. Rambler

    April 6, 2008 6:58 am

    four guys farting all along..that must be one lousy trip :)BR/BR/btw why is it only men are associated with farting 😀

  11. Susan Helene Gottfried

    April 6, 2008 8:07 am

    ’cause we women are an advanced species who don’t fart, of course, Rambler!

  12. onemorebeliever

    April 7, 2008 12:37 pm

    it’s just plain hilarious… im thinkin some sort of mtv serial sorta thing… and the comments were just as funny!!!..i know it’s like cheech and chong…remember those guys and the movies they use to do…

  13. West Of Mars — The Meet and Greet » Blog Archive » Fiction Outtake: Key Lime Pie (Trevor’s Song era)
  14. West Of Mars — The Meet and Greet » Blog Archive » Thursday Thirteen #28 — Let’s hit the Road
  15. West of Mars » Blog Archive » Kermit Ladd: Snooping

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