Thursday Thirteen #44 — Excerpts from an Interview


Over the past few weeks, we’ve talked quite a bit about groupies. We started with stereotypes, moved on to the truth, and then spent last week celebrating ShapeShifter and you guys who’ve become my groupies (or are about to).

This week, to end the unit of study, I thought I’d bring you the notes of famed journalist Kermit Ladd, who continues to try to sit down and control an interview with the members of ShapeShifter. Being a smart sort, Kermit sat down with frontman/rhythm guitarist Mitchell Voss, but before long, the party was crashed, and this is what ensued:

Thirteen Things about Groupies

Thirteen things about Groupies
1. Mitchell: The thing about groupies, what makes them so good, is that they love us.
Trevor: It’s all about the love.
Mitchell: No, no. Really. These women love us. To the point that they’d marry us if they could.
Trevor (sniffs): Like I’m getting married? Ever?

2. Mitchell: Hold on a second. You see, when someone loves you, all they want to do is please you.
Trevor: And please us they do. (He folds his arms over his chest and nods once. Firmly.)

3. Mitchell: For them, it’s all about giving pleasure. All we need to do is sit back and take it.

4. Trevor: You greedy, lying bastard. You get off on showering these girls with attention just as much as I do. Watching them start to drool ’cause you’re looking at them and then they hold their breaths, hoping you’re about to give ’em that invite they want so bad… (He takes a deep breath through his nose, his eyes closed in satisfaction.) Yeah, that’s the best.

5. Mitchell: Here’s the thing with groupies. We do make fun of them when they can’t hear, but you’re not a real band until you’ve got ’em. We know that. We love them for it.
Trevor: We make fun of them when they’re not around?
(Mitchell cuffs the back of Trevor’s head.)

6. Mitchell: They’re important people in the world of a band. The smart (he gives Trevor a sidelong glance) guys know this. The groupies who are cool or extra-special, if you know what I mean, those are the girls we’ll tell the crew to keep an eye out for.
Trevor: Sort of like that Lana chick. The whole crew knows Lana. They watch out for her. Help her past venue security, give her passes without the usual payment, make sure she gets fed.
Mitchell: I heard Cookie once slipped food out of the crew’s catering for her.
Trevor: Wouldn’t surprise me. Cookie knows who he works for.
Mitchell: The band?
Trevor: Me, you dumbfuck.

7. Mitchell: These groupies, the devoted ones, they’ll say they work for us. That they’re as essential to us as people like Cookie are.
Trevor: They’re wrong. They’re in it for themselves. To get close to us. Cookie’s around to be my bass tech.
Mitchell: Might want to tell him that. I know he likes your rejects.

8. Trevor: How’d we get on to this? We started off saying that these girls are all about pleasing us.
Mitchell: They are.
Trevor: But now you’re saying they’re all about getting close to us.
Mitchell: Nope. You said that. Not me.
Trevor: Same fucking thing.
(Mitchell gives him a confused look)

9. Trevor: Are we done with the groupies yet? I’m bored.
Mitchell: Nope. We have four more points to make.
Trevor: Why not get Adam and his camera in here and let him do a picture thing?
Mitchell: Because this guy’s here to talk to us. Talk, Trev. Not look at pictures.
Trevor: Pictures are more interesting. I’m done talking.
(Trevor wanders off)

10. Mitchell: So I guess we’re back to just me, huh? Shit. Maybe Trevor’s right and we have said it all.

11. Mitchell: Nope, never taken pictures of the girls I’ve been with just so I can remember them later. That’s probably a good thing. Now that I’m married, I’d have to burn them all.

12. Mitchell: Nope, not going to write some tell-all book and spill it all. What happened back in my single days needs to stay there, and not just because Kerri doesn’t want to hear it.

13. Mitchell: Yes, girls do still grab my dick and slip me some tongue and do everything else they can think of to get me to take them over my wife. Not a single one of them’s gotten anything but an escort out of the room, though. I don’t care how great they are, Kerri’s better. I guess that means my groupie days are done.

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!



  1. Joely Sue Burkhart

    August 29, 2007 8:05 pm

    IKerri’s better./I Awwwww! Happy TT!

  2. Sandee (Comedy +)

    August 29, 2007 9:17 pm

    I spewed water all over the place when I read #13. Somethings really wrong with you dude. Bwahahahah. Have a great TT. 🙂

  3. Amy Ruttan

    August 29, 2007 9:18 pm

    Great post! I loved it!!!!

  4. Nicole Austin

    August 29, 2007 9:26 pm

    LOL! I love it. :DBR/BR/Happy TT!

  5. Nancy J. Bond

    August 29, 2007 9:28 pm

    A most intriguing exchange! 🙂 Happy TT! BR/BR/(As for the portrait, it would be my pleasure if you ever find yourself in my neck of the woods.)

  6. eastcoastlife

    August 29, 2007 9:37 pm

    I love kermit the frog. kekeke…. BR/Funny post. Happy TT.

  7. Chelle Y.

    August 29, 2007 9:41 pm

    This was so cute! 🙂

  8. Lori

    August 29, 2007 10:04 pm

    Oh that Trevor…he sounds a little arrogant, doesnt he?? Happy TT my friend. Its always nice to see you:)

  9. Susan Helene Gottfried

    August 29, 2007 10:05 pm

    A LITTLE arrogant? He’s downright subdued tonight!

  10. Buck Naked Politics

    August 29, 2007 10:15 pm

    I Love your post. Happy TT.

  11. Suprina

    August 29, 2007 10:22 pm

    Love it!BR/Happy T13!

  12. That Blue Girl

    August 29, 2007 10:22 pm

    Whoa! What an interview. Great 13-very different from most that I read. Happy 13!

  13. tommiea

    August 29, 2007 10:27 pm

    Thanks for a great laugh!!BR/BR/happy TT

  14. Tilly Greene

    August 29, 2007 10:36 pm

    Oh man, #4 – Trevor had my knees melting :-)BR/BR/Okay, so did Mitchell when he’s thinking about Kerri!

  15. Thomma Lyn

    August 29, 2007 10:48 pm

    Ha, I love it! Great TT — I love what Mitchell said about Kerri — “I don’t care how great they are; Kerri’s better.” Whatta sweetheart!BR/BR/And wowie, Lana and I thank you for the link love! Lana is absolutely beside herself with joy to learn that Trevor is behind the yummies! She loves him even more now, and she never dreamed such a thing could be possible… :-DBR/BR/Happy T13, my friend!

  16. pussreboots

    August 29, 2007 10:53 pm

    I’ve never been a groupie. LOL. Happy TT and thanks for stopping by.

  17. Nicholas

    August 29, 2007 10:55 pm

    Great list! Very enjoyable!

  18. L^2

    August 29, 2007 11:29 pm

    The interviews are always fun. LOL BR/BR/And “…Kerri’s better.” What a sweet boy! 🙂

  19. Nap Warden

    August 30, 2007 12:02 am

    Happy TT! LOL….

  20. Gattina

    August 30, 2007 1:01 am

    Poor guys, lol !

  21. Dorothy

    August 30, 2007 2:13 am

    Cute post. Happy TT

  22. Silencer76

    August 30, 2007 2:21 am

    Seems like the group thinks they have reached the Robert Plant or Gene Simmons plateau of greatness…;)BR/BR/Happy TT.

  23. -E

    August 30, 2007 2:28 am

    Great list, have a happy TT.

  24. Darla

    August 30, 2007 6:07 am

    Oh, I got the best image in my head of Kermit doing this interview. Just fabulous.

  25. Alasandra

    August 30, 2007 6:40 am

    Liked the endingBR/Not a single one of them’s gotten anything but an escort out of the room, though. I don’t care how great they are, Kerri’s better. I guess that means my groupie days are done.BR/BR/BR/Thanks for visiting my TT.

  26. Mom not Mum

    August 30, 2007 7:17 am

    LOL He’s probably right about taking pictures of girls he was with.

  27. Xakara

    August 30, 2007 7:28 am

    Trevor stands out, because how could he not? But I’m really liking Mitchell more and more. #13 sealed it. ;)BR/BR/Happy TTBR/BR/~X

  28. Jenny McB

    August 30, 2007 8:14 am

    #5- make fun of groupies, ooo, thinking it’s time to go back to following ABBA.BR/BR/Very funny interview, I just love how you write.

  29. Ed

    August 30, 2007 8:15 am

    Interesting TT. Yeah Joy’s is fixed and ready when she wants to use it and mine is moved and up.BR/BR/Ed

  30. LA Day

    August 30, 2007 9:14 am

    Great post! It’s so original.

  31. Robin

    August 30, 2007 9:23 am

    Whatever Kermit’s getting paid, it’s not enough ;-).

  32. Ann Aguirre

    August 30, 2007 9:30 am

    Too funny 🙂

  33. Nancy

    August 30, 2007 11:02 am

    Who will take down Treveor and win his heart?

  34. Susan Helene Gottfried

    August 30, 2007 11:24 am

    Nancy, I know Rhian would like a go at it…

  35. samulli

    August 30, 2007 11:53 am

    “…grab my dick and slip me some tongue …” BR/*Yuck*BR/See, that’s the reason I would never ever wanna be a rock star. And I don’t even have dick! LOLBR/Love Trevor. I often would like to just get up and wander away from boring things as well. :o)

  36. Moondancer

    August 30, 2007 11:55 am

    You know I was in a band once with guys like you (shudders)BR/BR/Have a happy TT!BR/BR/

  37. Scooper

    August 30, 2007 1:00 pm

    I just had to say that Humpty looks freaky!!!

  38. julia

    August 30, 2007 1:14 pm

    Loved it when Trevor just wandered off because he was done with the interview. I really like the interview-as-TT! That may take off all over the blogosphere. And I also love your TT banner for today.

  39. OpenChannel

    August 30, 2007 1:23 pm

    Susan – all your TT’s and MPT’s are really great exercises for any writer. Getting inside the character’s heads, thinking in first person from their POV. I’m going to steal some of these ideas… haha.BR/BR/(BTW – I added you to my kindred spirits blogroll)

  40. Daisy Dexter Dobbs

    August 30, 2007 1:26 pm

    Charming, clever and imaginative, as always, Susan. 😀

  41. Rhet

    August 30, 2007 1:40 pm

    Suzy Creamcheese

  42. Donica Covey

    August 30, 2007 2:17 pm

    GREAT POST!BR/BR/I really am getting into Trevor!BR/BR/HugglesBR/Donica

  43. Samantha Lucas

    August 30, 2007 2:54 pm

    OMG Too, too funny!! Loved this!

  44. Jill

    August 30, 2007 3:37 pm

    That Mitchell is a smart guy!!BR/I don’t think I could ever be that kind of groupies that they talk about!!

  45. Starrlight

    August 30, 2007 3:49 pm

    ROFL that was a fun one.

  46. Julia

    August 30, 2007 4:36 pm

    OMG – it just crack me up when I was reading all this….love it!BR/BR/Thanks for stopping by my blog. I hope you have good Thursday!

  47. Lesley

    August 30, 2007 4:53 pm

    Awww Mitchell’s such a cutie!

  48. Tink

    August 30, 2007 4:59 pm

    Another great groupie-themed TT!BR/Thanks for visiting mine. Aqua spinning works great for me, although I do it in a slower pace than the others. The water gives extra resistance, but it’s better for your knees and ankles.

  49. MyUtopia

    August 30, 2007 5:47 pm

    Great thirteen!

  50. Alyssa Goodnight

    August 30, 2007 5:56 pm

    Kermit really does get all the great interviews!BR/BR/Happy T13!

  51. cheesygiraffe

    August 30, 2007 5:57 pm

    Hey Susan. Sorry I haven’t been posting comments to your blog in a while. I’ve read a lot this summer since it’s been way too hot here to do anything else. My boys are back in school now. I hope I can catch up with all your posts and become one of your groupies again. *smooch*

  52. Denise Patrick

    August 30, 2007 6:12 pm

    Great TT! You guys are a hoot! Thanks for the wonderful laughs.BR/BR/And, thanks for visiting my TT!

  53. Red Garnier

    August 30, 2007 6:38 pm

    OMG, is this a record of comments?? Susan there’s barely space for me here, LMAO!!! Big hugs!!! Miss ya!

  54. Susan Helene Gottfried

    August 30, 2007 6:41 pm

    Cheesy, you will ALWAYS be one of my groupies. I love you, darling; have you read anything good????

  55. Susan Helene Gottfried

    August 30, 2007 6:43 pm

    Nope, Red, not yet. I just wish you guys would flock to me the rest of the week, too! It’s not only fun here on Thursdays, you know!

  56. Bob-kat

    August 30, 2007 7:03 pm

    Ah, yes Groupies can be quite ruthless in their quest to get close to their object of obsession. Are you sure you want some Susan?! LOL!BR/BR/Michele sent me this time 🙂

  57. cheesygiraffe

    August 30, 2007 7:29 pm

    Thanks! *hug*BR/Yes I just finished A Thousand Splendid Suns. Very beautiful!

  58. FRIGGA

    August 30, 2007 8:54 pm

    Wow, you really do have a ton of groupies. And I’m one of them. Oh that Mitchell. But no, I won’t go around slipping any of them any tongue 😛

  59. cajunvegan

    August 30, 2007 8:57 pm

    I like Trevor — he’s a little ADD. BR/BR/Happy TT. Check out mine; it’s about the Zombie Jebuses — they are fictional too but without “groupies” currently.

  60. Rhian / Crowwoman

    August 30, 2007 9:45 pm

    “Are we done with the groupies yet? I’m bored.”BR/heh.BR/oh crap – i’m gonna have to fight off more Trevor fans now aren’t i?BR/damn. the things i go thru for him. sigh.

  61. Samara Leigh

    August 30, 2007 9:56 pm

    I love that “Kerri’s better”, that there are no pics; and that there won’t be a tell-all book. We’ve had quite enough of those.

  62. Robin L. Rotham

    August 30, 2007 10:09 pm

    These guys are just becoming entirely too real, LOL!

  63. Teena

    August 30, 2007 10:24 pm

    Ha! #13! Ha!BR/BR/Thanks for visiting mine 🙂

  64. MissMeliss

    August 30, 2007 11:32 pm

    Great post – very entertaining.

  65. Lara Angelina

    August 31, 2007 12:38 am

    Hi Susan–BR/well, you gave me a good giggle (which I needed after the week I had)! My son is in a band and he got his little sister a t-shirt that says “Groupie in Training”. I only let her wear it as pajamas!!!BR/Great post!

  66. Susan Helene Gottfried

    August 31, 2007 7:43 am

    I need one of those shirts!!!

  67. Karen

    August 31, 2007 7:51 am

    Wow! What a post! Hilarious! BR/BR/Michele sent me today! Have a great day!

  68. Sparky Duck

    August 31, 2007 9:09 am

    Trevors a virgin isnt he?

  69. Sue

    August 31, 2007 9:56 am

    Thanks for visiting today from Michele’s. I have to come back when I have more time to read — what I have read is cracking me up and now I will have to start from the beginning LOL — will I cry? 🙂

  70. Haley-O

    August 31, 2007 3:59 pm

    I LOVE YOU TREVOR EEEeeeeEEEeeEEE! I’m such a groupie…. 😉

  71. Carmi

    August 31, 2007 9:59 pm

    I wish I had a groupie. Any advice?BR/BR/Maybe Michele can help, too. She sent me back!

  72. Susan Helene Gottfried

    September 1, 2007 9:04 am

    You have plenty of groupies, Carmi. You simply call them by a different name.

  73. Sophisticated Writer

    September 2, 2007 8:00 am

    LOL this is hilarious, Susan!

  74. West Of Mars — The Meet and Greet » Blog Archive » Thursday Thirteen #52 — Thoughts about Fire
  75. West of Mars » Blog Archive » Thursday Thirteen #73 — Back by Popular Demand

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