Maybe I’ve been remiss in not adding my own two cents to the new collaboration between Lou Reed and my beloved Metallica.

That’s because I don’t like to be negative. Or to ride on bandwagons (usually. Some are worthwhile).

But here’s the thing: while I don’t like Lulu, in my eyes, it’s performance art. More power to Lou and Tallica for bringing performance art into realms it hasn’t previously gone. Or if it has, history’s erased it pretty quickly. Just the fact that this is Lou Reed and Metallica… yeah. Not fading into the archives so fast, you know? Even if it never meets with anything other than disdain and derision, it’s earned a spot in musical history.

Not helping the cause any is a recent interview Lou gave to The Telegraph. Really, really bad move here, Lou.

Saying you’re more literate than most people who interview you? That you made Lulu for literate people?

Dude. There aren’t many more literate than me. Or most of the people who read my blog. After all, literate means (according to Merriam-Webster online) Educated, cultured. A second entry says, “Versed in literature or creative writing.”

Nowhere in the definition does it talk about being a snob. Or a dick.

And I don’t care if you’re notoriously scary to interview, worse than my fictional Mitchell on his worst days (because, as many of you know, Mitchell’s merely putting on an act. Lou seems real.). Putting down the people who may get what you’ve tried to accomplish just isn’t very smart PR. Don’t alienate the people who’re going to spend money on you, Lou. Not in this economy.

Lou, every person who stops in here at West of Mars will probably shock you with their literacy levels. I doubt you made Lulu for a single one of us. Stop putting us down, stop looking down your nose at us because we don’t conform to your idea of what a literate person is.

And while you’re at it, get away from my Metallica boys. While I’m glad to see them stretching their musical chops and working with you, I don’t want to see what sort of ways in which you’re going to bring them down. Because after reading that article? I don’t see how anyone who spends any time around you can be anything BUT a downer.

Blech. I know people you can hang around. Better you than me, dude. I don’t have the time or energy for the lot of you.


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