Susan Speaks: Mitchell’s views of marriage


An online friend of mine is getting married this weekend and as I was wishing her luck, I said, “Remember, it’s just a formality.”

That’s stuck with me since Mitchell said it. (yes, he did say it. I just channeled him ’cause Lord knows I’d never thought of it in those terms) The wedding is nothing but a formality because you made the commitment to each other long ago. You know… when you decided to go on ahead and give her the ring. Even though when he gave Kerri her ring, they both tried to pretend it didn’t even mean an engagement to wed but a promise to be faithful while he spent six weeks in Phoenix, recording the Freaks of Evolution album.

But think about it and you’ll see he’s right. The wedding is just making public what you and your love have already agreed to. Because if you didn’t agree, why are you putting yourself through that much stress?



  1. karen!

    May 6, 2006 10:49 am

    I think Mitchell is right…BR/BR/I wonder why people get engaged and then spend 2+ years engaged and planning their wedding. It seems so insane to me. BR/BR/I will say that getting married is a huge deal to me… and I’m still depressed about a friend from college who got married in 2002/2003 ($140,000 wedding). They separated within 3 months!

  2. Susan Helene Gottfried

    May 6, 2006 4:46 pm

    I can’t get over the cost of that wedding… ouch! And then to separate so soon. That’s sad. :(BR/BR/I am so firm in this belief about marriage that I’ve oven thrown anniversary parties for me and the Tour Manager. I figure if they were there to celebrate with us the first time, why not each time afterward? 😀

  3. bunnygirl

    April 29, 2007 5:05 pm

    I’m with Mitchell. I felt married to Dan from the day I agreed to marry him. And once we realized how truly impossible it is to do a traditional wedding on a small budget and with no hassles, we said screw it. We went to the JP and had a party for our friends and family afterwards.BR/BR/We celebrated eleven years earlier this month, so I know we’re doing something right. It’s not the wedding that matters; it’s the marriage! 🙂

  4. Susan Helene Gottfried

    April 29, 2007 8:02 pm

    I always knew the Tour Manager was my guy. At the time, I was 12 and he was a nerd. But I knew.BR/BR/Congrats on eleven! We just made ten in March.

  5. spyscribbler

    April 30, 2007 7:53 pm

    We’ve never really gotten married. A reason to has never popped up. Susan, it’s so true! It’s expensive! If we have extra money, sure. But in the meantime, we love each other.

  6. Susan Helene Gottfried

    April 30, 2007 8:40 pm

    That is one of the sweetest things I’ve ever heard. BR/BR/You rock, spy.

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