Thursday Thirteen: NOT ripped from the headlines

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My kids have been home for five days now, thanks to the snow. We’re all a little bit stir-crazy, even though we’ve been getting out.

Here are thirteen headlines that were ripped straight out of my imagination…

1. Snowbound kids turn 22 inches of snow into 20-foot snowman.

2. 20-foot snowman Crushes Neighbor’s Car

3. Kids Buried Waist-Deep in Snow. Freeze while Mom takes pictures for scrapbook

4. Mom serves doctored cocoa to kids. Takes bath while they sleep off the effects.

5. Heavy snow breaks skylight in local home. Kids build snowmen in bathtub.

6. Husbands around region bring sleeping bags to work. Seek to avoid family with cabin fever.

7. Man has heart attack clearing spot in grass for dog to pee on.

8. Mom Climbs Walls — and Refuses to come Down until Spring.

9. Bored kids plead with school board to reopen schools.

10. Snow Reminds Seniors of The Winter of 1900! Fifty inches over five days. Five hundred dead.

11. Libraries glad city shut down. Fear all books would be gone otherwise.

12. Vampires asked to help fill blood donor shortage. (Okay, inspired by a true story)

13. Punxy Phil laughs himself to six more weeks of hibernation.

Wait. That last one seems to have happened.

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21 Comments

  1. Lesley

    February 10, 2010 11:22 pm

    Those are hilarious!!! Are you sure it’s not the parents pleading with the school boards though? hehe

  2. Stacy

    February 11, 2010 12:27 am

    That doctored cocoa sounds great right now 🙂
    .-= Stacy´s last blog ..The Sister, by Poppy Adams =-.

  3. bunnygirl

    February 11, 2010 2:33 am

    Funny stuff. I’d go nuts cooped up with bored kids. Heck, just being snowbound with a spouse and critters might drive me off the edge! I hope you’re staying warm and appropriately fed, at least. Benadryl in the hot chocolate might help everyone a little…
    .-= bunnygirl´s last blog ..Flash Fiction: On Earth As In Heaven =-.

  4. Anthony North

    February 11, 2010 4:35 am

    That was fun. Could be a synopsis to a horror novel.
    .-= Anthony North´s last blog ..DAMAGED PLANET =-.

  5. Shelley Munro

    February 11, 2010 5:13 am

    LOL – I’m so glad we don’t have snow. I get cabin fever if I don’t go outside every day. I like #8 about Mom climbing the walls and refusing to come down. I hope the snow clears soon for you. 🙂
    .-= Shelley Munro´s last blog ..Mirror, Mirror on the Wall =-.

  6. jillconyers

    February 11, 2010 6:23 am

    Hilarious. #6…my husband has to pack an overnight bag for work and #9…my daughter would call 🙂

    Thanks for the laugh.
    .-= jillconyers´s last blog ..Going Paperless =-.

  7. Hootin' Anni

    February 11, 2010 6:58 am

    These are a riot!!!
    Love, love, LOVE #8….but all of ’em area super.

    Did you compose these yourself? I read they’re not ripped from headlines!!

    Come join me if you can…Mine is Thirteen CAT EXPRESSIONS…not photos, word expressions. Find it HERE. Have a wonderful day ahead.

  8. Nessa

    February 11, 2010 8:11 am

    Each one is funnier than the next.

    13 Random Feelings & Thoughts
    .-= Nessa´s last blog ..Flash 55 – Buried Secrets =-.

  9. Janet

    February 11, 2010 8:25 am

    gosh, I can’t believe how much you guys have gotten! And nothing for us…weird!
    .-= Janet´s last blog ..shooting from the hip =-.

  10. Adelle Laudan

    February 11, 2010 9:26 am

    I love your imagination. You really need to write a children’s book. Very clever list. Happy T13!
    .-= Adelle Laudan´s last blog .. =-.

  11. Wylie

    February 11, 2010 1:16 pm

    OH LOL!!! That was good. Very imaginative 🙂
    .-= Wylie´s last blog ..Huh? What was that? Speak up please! =-.

  12. Celticlibrarian

    February 11, 2010 2:51 pm

    #11 For the Win!

    7, though. Yeah. I could see that. Egad.

    I hope that you get a thaw soon!
    .-= Celticlibrarian´s last blog ..Snowpocalypse Recent =-.

  13. Alice Audrey

    February 11, 2010 6:18 pm

    Doesn’t mater how bored they get, they’d never ask for more school. They might, however inspire the headline, “Mom found in backyard igloo, hiding from kids.”
    .-= Alice Audrey´s last blog ..13 Ways to Tell He Loves You =-.

  14. Calico Crazy

    February 11, 2010 6:29 pm

    That would be my dog, he panics at the sight of rain and snow.
    .-= Calico Crazy´s last blog ..Thursday Thirteen #23 =-.

  15. Thomma Lyn

    February 12, 2010 2:19 am

    Bwahahahaha! Those are a hoot. 😀 Hang in there, my friend. That snow’s gotta melt sometime!

  16. carol

    February 12, 2010 12:09 pm

    Those were hilarious.

    Our kids went back to school today, thank goodness.

  17. Norma

    February 12, 2010 4:13 pm

    This is hilarious. I know a 40-something mom in DC with only one kid and she’s going bonkers. My TT is up http://collectingmythoughts.blogspot.com/2010/02/thursday-thirteen-normas-laundry-tips.html
    .-= Norma´s last blog ..Friday Family Photo–Mother’s girl friends =-.

  18. Julia Smith

    February 13, 2010 5:54 pm

    ‘Kids Buried Waist-Deep in Snow. Freeze while Mom takes pictures for scrapbook.’

    LOL, Susan! Because I would do that.
    .-= Julia Smith´s last blog ..5 on Friday – Set 1 =-.

  19. Patrice

    February 13, 2010 7:59 pm

    #9 actually happened here last week!
    .-= Patrice´s last blog ..Brown Sugar Baby Cakes and Special Packaging =-.

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