I’ve been following this for awhile now, meaning to blog about it but always winding up with the tab in Firefox closed before I can. (How’s THAT for an excuse?)

Rocktober seems like the right time to talk about it.

Here. I’ll put it the way Brave Words did:

BEHEMOTH frontman Adam “Nergal” Darski is releasing his autobiography, Spowiedz Heretyka – Sacrum Profanum, on October 17th in Poland via Publisher G&J, with an english version to follow “if there’s interest,” he says. The book is being promoted through a series of trailers that feature Nergal reading portions of the book, as well as acting out portions of stories, which Nergal describes as “some funny, some sad, some evil…some related to the band, some not.”

Yeah, okay, so first there’s the issue that this will be published in Polish. There’s no English version, and my Polish… I’m not sure I could figure out how to say yes, no, or thank you. Even if I was on the Amazing Race.

Okay, I’m selling myself short. But you get the point. I sure am not going to be able to read the book without a translation.

Another thing holding me back… well, it’s stupid and shallow. But LOOK at the man.

That’s the book cover.

Like I said, it’s shallow.

There’s something about him that disturbs me. Like… I’m looking at a seriously disturbed person. The one trailer I watched didn’t help convince me of anything other than something strange going on… And I’m certainly not a fan of Behemoth or most other death metal — I simply don’t get it. Over the years, especially in its early days, when bands like Deicide and Cannibal Corpse and Death and Obituary and Sepultura and personalities like Scott Burns were defining the genre, its early fans tried to convince me how great it was.

I didn’t get it then, and I don’t get it now.

But back to Nergal and his book.

I’m facing the question, then: Would this book of his be a really cool Rock Nonfiction read, or would it be a frightening look into a disturbed mind?

I guess it’ll have to be translated into English for me to be able to tell.

Talk about a bad song that will NOT die.

Yep, it’s Warrant’s Cherry Pie, a song that made me embarrassed to be a woman back when I was something like 16. It still does. That song… ugh. Talk about one of those songs I actively run from.

The rest of this post has very little to do with that song (I think and hope). It’s really about Jani Lane’s ex-wife, Bobbie Brown, and the autobiography she’s working on. There aren’t a lot of details about the book; rather, talk was mostly about the upcoming TV show she’s starring in, which will be all about her and some other ex-rocker wives and how they’ve reinvented their lives.

Uhh… sure. I mean, why not? We saw the great Married to Rock fizzle and die after only one season. Maybe this will succeed where that one failed. Who knows?

All I know for now is that there’s another Rock Autobiography in the works, that there’s a TV show that’ll only be on Canadian TV (bummer), and that Jani Lane continues to have passed on into another world. One where, hopefully, there’s no cherry pie.

Read the press release for yourself.