Following on the tails of last week’s semi-rant about how easy it is for anyone to get the wrong idea about the quality of self-published books, I got a new assignment from TWTBC.

My eyes bugged. My jaw dropped open.

The book is only 150 pages or so, barely long enough to call a novel.

The only commas are there so you can accuse the author of comma splices, rending most sentences unreadable on the first try.

The paragraphing is bad — there’s dialogue and then, instead of a new paragraph, there’s narration. Right after the dialogue. Except, the narration and action (usually someone shrugging or sighing) is attributed to the next speaker.

So it goes like this.

“Whaddya think?” Trevor sighed.

“You know thinking’s bad for your health, dumbass. Quit bothering me.” Mitchell giggled.

“What makes you think you’re always right?” Trevor shrugged.

It SHOULD read:

“Whaddya think?”

Trevor sighed. “You know thinking’s bad for your health, dumbass. Quit bothering me.”

Mitchell giggled. “What makes you think you’re always right?”

Trevor shrugged.

Did you notice that the characters aren’t particularly nice to each other? There are also a couple of adverbs that describe how EVERYTHING happens. Thoughtfully. Carelessly. Okay, those aren’t the real ones, but imagine if they were, and used in the wrong spots, too. Actions completed thoughtfully, during a fight scene? (Not to mention, in the above example, Mitchell giggling. First of all, it’s out of character. Second of all, it’s not appropriate for the scene.)

And yes, there is MORE. On the one hand, I feel terrible for the author. S/he’s got his/her name associated with this hot mess of a book. On that same hand, I wish I could edit it for him/her. But on that other hand… I’m glad I didn’t. A hot mess this bad would have cost way more than the book review eventually did. And while I know I’m a really good editor, I also know that one can only do so much with what you’re given. For all I know, the author DID hire an editor, and then refused to listen to what s/he had to say. In a year since I returned to editing, I’ve had that happen. (The client didn’t pay the full bill in the end, either. Go figure.)

This is one I can’t wait to be done with. And sadly, when people want a poster child for what’s wrong with self-publishing, it’s this book they’ll turn to. It’s so much easier to be negative in today’s world, after all, and overlook the good stuff… and let me say it again: there is PLENTY of good stuff out there.

I think I’m going to start featuring it. Once I finish this hot mess.

(If you’re new here and don’t know who Trevor and Mitchell are, well… shame on you! But use this link to learn everything you need to. Welcome to the Trevolution.

**Thanks to my own impromptu editor, Robin at Around the Island, for catching a rare Susan typo!

Okay, so that’s a heck of an incendiary headline up there. I did that on purpose; I want you guys to be reading what I have to say.

You know I work for The World’s Toughest Book Critics. I am a paid reviewer for them, and they assign me to read indie books, or self-published books, or whatever term you want to use for books NOT put out by an organized business such as Harper Collins, Penguin, and the like. Not even books from places like Coffee House Press or The Mysterious Press. You know: us people who are riding the wave of the Kindle, the Nook, and the iPad.

The books submitted to The World’s Toughest Book Critics that find their way to me are submitted along with money from the author to the reviewing source.

We can argue the value of a paid review until the cows come home. But I’d like to point something out: the big publishers have the finances to help fund these book review sources via advertising. We indies usually don’t have a couple hundred — or more — to throw into an ad that may or may not sell books. (Better to give that kind of money to a good editor or…)

The review sites need to find a way to replace the lost revenue, after all. And so, the paid review was born. It’s a win-win for everyone involved, or so the thinking goes. The site or publication (or, in today’s world, both) doesn’t take a hit in their revenue stream. The author hopefully gets to brag about their really good review from The World’s Toughest Book Critics, or the World’s Oldest Review Publication, or The Librarian’s Favorite Review Source.

Notice what I said there, about the author? HOPEFULLY.

That’s because of the 20 or so books I’ve read for TWTBC, I’ve been lukewarm, at best, about three of them. The most recent book WOULD have been fantastic if it had been copy edited by someone with a clue and an eye for more than their bank account. (Yeah, I’m talking to you, lady, who thinks it’s fine to add an apostrophe s to a plural in one line, but not when the same word, still a plural, appears on the next.)

Now, take a step back and pretend you’re a famous author of the best-selling variety, and some journalist has called you up and asked for a quote about the self-publishing phenomenon overtaking the world. And you go to those review sites and look a few over before answering and … all you see is negativity. Why on earth would you NOT say you think all that’s coming out is garbage? Those reviews you just read… they didn’t exactly give you the warm fuzzies.

I’m not advocating that us reviewers change our policies and stop telling the truth. Not at all.

You guys know where I’m going… I’m issuing a challenge to us writers. Improve our craft. Expand our storytelling. Find the right editors to work with. Don’t be in such a rush to get something on the market that you become one of those authors who gets an e-mail from a book blogger, saying, “I’d have loved to have read this like I said I was going to, but the typos are so bad, I can’t.” — and then the author says, “I know, but I wanted to get this on the market and start making money.”

Up your game, folks, and there won’t be a reason for anyone to put us down anymore.

That says it all, doesn’t it? My editor self — yes, sometimes, I DO feel like I’m more than one person: writer, book reviewer, editor, publicist, small business owner, mother, friend, daughter — has taken over. I began this week with one major, book-length project, one novella, and two short stories to complete. Now. Today. Yesterday would be better.

My clients understand that I’d like to get away for the weekend. Or that my kids need me. But that hasn’t stopped them from piling on the work.

Bring it, I say. While I’d still prefer, on some level, that my book royalties equal or exceed the sort of money I’m making via the editing work, I continue to love what I do. While I’d still prefer, on some level, more time to write, the hours I spend on other people’s manuscripts is every bit as energizing as working on a good story of my own.

And I have to admit that in most cases, the manuscripts my clients deliver to me are better than the books I get from the World’s Toughest Book Critics. Those books, I have to weigh in on. I can’t tell you how many times I wish I could reach out to an author and say, “Next time, hire me to edit your next book. It’ll be SO much better.” Of course, I can’t, and not just because the World’s Toughest Book Critics also offer an editing service to authors. I can’t because I’m supposed to be anonymous in all this.

However, it seems that my thoughts have become quite valuable.

I’ll take it.

So… I’m back at it. There are words to work with, stories and novellas and novels to shape. Writing is a craft, people. Remember that.

And remember all these long hours that authors (and their editors) put in. Say thanks by buying books, not grabbing only the freebie offers or using (gasp) piracy sites. Ask your local library to pick up books you like. And take a few minutes and jot down some words. Reviews are the best way to say thanks to an author, although buying a copy for eight of your closest friends comes in a close second.

Believe me. From any side of the writing world — writing, editing, reviewing — a TON of work goes into the creation of a book. Don’t just read. Show your support.

There’s been a lot of huff and puff over the revelation that Amazon doesn’t pay out the full 70% royalty they promise on Kindle books. There’s been other talk, as well, about royalties. I know I’d prefer if you all bought my e-books via Smashwords because my royalties are higher.

I mean, I get it. We’ve got bills to pay. I’m not the only one in this boat; a well-known author friend has long talked about how her book sales fuel her mortgage payments. Now that I’m responsible for the mortgage around here — along with everything else — that has taken on a new resonance.

You can probably imagine my shock on Monday, when the Boy Band announced the reason we don’t use Spotify in the house is because a song has to be played on Spotify over 4.51 MILLION times for a major label artist to earn the equivalent of a month’s worth of minimum wage payments — that’s a bit under $1200 a month. (For the record, that’s not the reason I don’t use Spotify. I don’t use it because… well, no reason, actually. I just haven’t signed up.)

The Boy Band had other royalty numbers for one other music source — and iTunes. Since we became an iTunes family in 2009, I’ve wondered what the royalty rate is for a major label artist for a 99c download. It’s a fair comparison, no? I sometimes sell certain books for 99c, and my short stories are ALWAYS 99c.

So… the Boy Band, instead of showing off his math skills, Googled something or other and found this article. It’s not quite a year old, but the terms probably haven’t changed too much. The headline says it all: A Major Label Artist Makes 8 Cents On a 99-Cent iTunes Download…

It’s based on figures from Chuck D, who can’t be confused with an artist I listen to, but I doubt the numbers are much different for my beloved artists in the rock and roll world.

Eight cents.

Somehow, 35c on a 99c book seems better than it did before — and I was firmly in the camp that 35c was pretty darn good. (To be clear, that’s the percentage I get from Amazon’s Kindle platform. I get higher royalties from Smashwords and their affiliates, who I use rather than dealing directly with the various retailers, such as B&N. And yes, I’d get even more from those other retailers, but I’m willingly and knowingly giving up that higher royalty — and faster sales reporting — in exchange for the convenience of not stressing that I won’t get a payout from this retailer or that one or the other one. It’s cut down my stress level quite a bit, especially when I look at those mortgage coupons and my royalty statements and … ouch!)

I’m still not a fan of this new culture of the free book that Amazon’s been championing. Because when I look at it… even 8c is better than 0.

Like I said, I’ve got a mortgage to pay.

Back on July 18 came a headline in my music feeds: there’s a new clothing line. It’s called TatCo and it’s got the power of the guitarist from Saving Abel behind it.

Say what you will about Saving Abel, but Addicted never fails to crack me up. They’re a fun band. Not destined to be my favorite, but you guys know me. I have discriminating tastes.

Word of this new clothing line came with a list of stars who are helping launch it: Members of Buckcherry (okay) and Shinedown. Shinedown!

So. Rock-inspired clothes… yeah. You guys know where I like to spend my book royalties. Before I can, though, I need to go take a look.

Guess what? I’ve been trying ever since I read about TatCo to get in and take a look at the site and … no go.

I am very sad.

Let me know if you manage to connect, and if this is stuff you can see me wearing. Until then, hope springs eternal here at West of Mars… So eternal, we won’t talk about what a publicity gaffe this is…

I have always loved to bake. Hobby? Maybe. Definitely something I’m proud of.

Over the past year, I’ve ramped up the baking again, having taken a too-long hiatus while the kids were little.

And… maybe I’m a bit overeager ’cause I found a recipe for peanut butter and honey cookies on Pinterest, picked up cheap honey instead of the expensive, local stuff I prefer to use, and … wondered if the recipe should have flour in it.

After making it, I’m convinced that yes, that recipe wasn’t complete. After all, peanut butter, honey, baking soda, and an egg… what’s there to bind it together? What’s there to absorb some of the moisture?

Well… nothing.

It was too wet to put into a cookie sheet, so it went into an 8×8 baking pan. One of my All-Clads, in fact. I baked and baked and it rose and rose, and when the edges started to smell burned, I threw in the towel.

It’s soup.

Yeah, I hear you guys. “Stick to writing, Susan!”

I shall.

And when you see a character who makes a flourless peanut butter and honey cookie, you’ll know EXACTLY what inspired it.

In fact, I know just the character!

That’s a pretty major judgment for me, who doesn’t like to make such judgments on this blog.

If you don’t know the story, I was following it on a time delay; days behind in my feed reader (I still am, in fact!), I hadn’t wanted to comment or say anything, and yes, the situation is on my list to spend some time letting Chelle rant about. I probably will still let her.

Here’s the story: Randy Blythe is the frontman for Lamb of God. He was arrested in Prague because at a LoG show, a fan died. The authorities are, rightly or wrongly, holding Blythe accountable.

After his arrest, Blythe was thrown in jail. Bail was set. Bail was posted. Blythe wasn’t released. He spent a month in the slammer, in a foreign country. It must have sucked.

But… Wednesday, as I was trying to get ahead in the stupid feed reader (didn’t happen!), I came across this statement Blythe has made. Thanks to Blabbermouth for printing it and for letting me link to it.

What a classy, classy dude he is. My hat’s off to you, Randy. And gosh darn it, would you come spend some time teaching my kid to be as awesome as you are?

Mid-month, I took a look at how the Smashwords Summer/Winter July sale was going for me. The results were interesting, so if you missed it, head on over and see how the month was shaping up.

Now that the month is over, I have even more fascinating facts to report.

First is that even though I have one new title out since last year’s sale, I sold eight fewer books. This is despite having two books for free that had never been free before, including Trevor’s Song.

Demo Tapes 1 and 3 tied for top seller. If you recall, mid-month, Trevor’s Song was tops. It actually came in fourth of my six books, trailed only by the standalone short story, Mannequin, and my non-free title, King Trevor.

Conventional wisdom holds that novels sell better than short stories, especially short story anthologies, and the Demo Tapes are, I think, marked pretty clearly that they are short stories. Not only are they short stories, they all appeared on The Meet and Greet in a less-edited fashion.

I don’t know. I don’t get it. Maybe the opening of Trevor’s Song is too rough for people; he’s too hard to like. Maybe you really do need that intro of the Demo Tapes to come back for the novel. I’m not sure. Maybe it’s that The Demo Tapes were more visible, since more people write novels than short stories. Maybe it was the phase of the moon, the severity of the sunspots, the colors of the Northern Lights…

In short, who knows? Only the people who bought the books know for sure what they were thinking, and even if they leave reviews, we may still never know what led them to their purchasing choices. We’ll only know what they thought of their reading experience — and so long as that experience is good, that’s ultimately all that matters. It’s those reviews that help power sales. We all know this.

Which means I’ll wrap up with a big thank you to the people who’ve joined the Trevolution for the first time; a lot of gratitude for the repeat offenders, so to speak; and a reminder to leave even a few words in a review. “I liked this because… but I didn’t like…” Fill in the blanks, folks. That’s all it takes, and us authors will be your fans for life.

I was editing, of course, the other day — well, yesterday, in fact — when I caught the Tweet: Machine Head had released the video they’d finally made for The Darkness Within. (Here’s the site that was linked to. That’s some enthusiastic fan writing their copy. Umm…wow.)

I’ve gone on record before about my love for guitarist Phil Demmel. Love? Okay, fine. Crush. And about the song, about what it evokes from my own musical past. It wasn’t that long ago; surely, you remember. I’m not the only one who seems to have loved the song. After all, the band’s CD containing the song came out in 2011. And here we are, in 2012, and there’s finally a video. Dare I say this song could break Machine Head out and bring them a whole new audience?

A LOT could be hinging on this video.

So I dropped the work I was doing — who needs to get paid when there’s Machine Head videos? — and went to watch.

Utter disappointment.

It’s not that it’s not a good video. Well, maybe it’s not. It’s full of images of religion and darkness and maggots and girls cutting themselves and torture and kinky nuns and … yeah. I had to yawn. Some of those images and ideas are OLD and TIRED.

Not to mention there wasn’t a single image in the entire video that meshed with my interpretation of the song. It’s a long song!

Oh, I know. I’m hardly the be-all, end-all guru whose wise words are listened to and who sets fashion trends and all that — although, of course, I should be. But this seems like … a cop-out. All those cliched images and not one tie-in of music and religion.

Did the director not get a copy of the lyrics? Did he (or she, but I’m pro-woman enough to hope a woman wasn’t behind something so lacking in vision and innovation) miss the part that goes, “Music my savior/Save me” over and over again? Or “Mystery’s forgotten chords/I strum in vain to please the Lord”? Or “Music, it will set you free”?

HOW???

The worst part is that the band did the heavy work for the director. They did the innovating, with the music-as-religion theme. All the director had to do was follow along. It shouldn’t have been that hard. The climax, the epiphany… it’s all right there, in the music. That song — and one of the reasons I love it — has a serious denouement in it. Not many these days do.

Missed opportunity.

And I ain’t talking about the lack of Phil Demmel in the video, either.

I’ve been liberated, in more ways than one.

Over at Amwriting.org, I’ve posted a new piece of fiction, called Liberation Day.

This is NOT a story of the Trevolution. At least, right now, it’s not.

Instead, it features a character I’ve been trying to work with for a long time now. I never saw this particular story coming, but sometimes, I guess, a character needs to sit and think and grow before you can unleash him or her (or both) onto the world.

I daresay you’ll be seeing more of these two, although probably not soon.

Stay tuned, and be sure to stop in at Amwriting today. Leave a comment, why don’t you?

The lovely — and for once, I mean that and am not sneering as I type — folks at Amazon have decided to include The Demo Tapes triplets in their 4-for-3 promotion.

That means you can buy all three Demo Tapes anthologies in print (instead of the Kindle format) and get something thrown in for free!

Go on. What are you waiting for?

Oh, you already have Demo Tapes 1, 2, or 3?

Well, go browse around! Check out my list of other Rock Fiction you may have missed. See if any of THEM are on the sale. Maybe it’s Demo Tapes 3 that you’ll get for free…

Go find some new reads while supporting your favorite author.

Hey! What do you mean? *I* am your favorite author.

Right??

Right.

One of my clients, Kenya Wright, has been posting a series of Q&As with editors — me and two others who she has worked with.

Stop in and check it out. She’s giving away a 20-page edit, but not from me.

If you want to work with me as your editor, you’d better hustle. My rates go up to new clients as of August 1, and I’m currently booking dates in late October, November, and December. Better get a move on!

Talk about a bad song that will NOT die.

Yep, it’s Warrant’s Cherry Pie, a song that made me embarrassed to be a woman back when I was something like 16. It still does. That song… ugh. Talk about one of those songs I actively run from.

The rest of this post has very little to do with that song (I think and hope). It’s really about Jani Lane’s ex-wife, Bobbie Brown, and the autobiography she’s working on. There aren’t a lot of details about the book; rather, talk was mostly about the upcoming TV show she’s starring in, which will be all about her and some other ex-rocker wives and how they’ve reinvented their lives.

Uhh… sure. I mean, why not? We saw the great Married to Rock fizzle and die after only one season. Maybe this will succeed where that one failed. Who knows?

All I know for now is that there’s another Rock Autobiography in the works, that there’s a TV show that’ll only be on Canadian TV (bummer), and that Jani Lane continues to have passed on into another world. One where, hopefully, there’s no cherry pie.

Read the press release for yourself.

Honestly? I am so busy with editing that I haven’t been doing much writing. I miss it terribly, but by the lack of demand from you guys, I’m wondering if my little endeavor, started over six years ago, has lost some of its charm now that everyone and their sister is posting fiction online.

You tell me.

Maybe you want more Chelle, more Roadie Poet. More of the non-Trevor characters. Or maybe you miss Trevor. You tell me.

I’m also not reading terribly much, as that place who pays me to write reviews keeps assigning me stuff to read. Pesky people; don’t they know there’s a whole world of Rock Fiction I need to continue exploring? Sheesh. You’d think if they are paying me, they’d be more accommodating to my schedule. No?

(Yeah, okay. Truth is I’m extremely grateful for them and their books and their payments and the challenge of writing a 400-page book review. There’s a true art to writing a review that’s so short, and I love that I get to practice it so much.)

It’s all about balance, and right now, balance is hard to find. Balance between writing, editing, reading, and taking care of the house and the kids. And cats; I picked up another foster duo yesterday (who brought some little pesky friends with them from the feral colony they were born into. How long before the Frontline takes care of it?). It’s summer, so the kids are home. My work schedule has changed.

And I love it. I really do.

Every day is different, every day a challenge.

So if I’m slow getting back to you about an e-mail, if you’re waiting on an editing sample, if you want anything from me and I’m slow… well, you know what’s goin going on. It’s nowhere near as easy as I made it seem a couple of years ago.

But that’s okay. It’s exactly what it should be.

Last year, the fates conspired against me and I had to split my time between a dance recital and Boy Scout Camp. THAT is one hard transition to make, let me tell you.

This year, I’ll be wrapping up the Dance Mom part of my life in the nick of time. The recital is (was, depending on when you read this) tonight, and tomorrow morning, I’m shoving my First Class Scout into the car and heading off for a week.

My agenda goes like this:
1. Dodge raindrops.
2. Avoid the lake.
3. Hope tent doesn’t leak on Nook.
4. Read book for the people who pay me to write reviews for them.
5. Do some writing for the Troop.
6. Earn Adult Merit Badge.
7. Excel in the part of the Adult Merit Badge that’s dedicated to taking naps.
8. Avoid being eaten by bears.
9. Keep 54 Scouts and 11 Scouters in line.
10. Bring brownie batter to camp already made. Pour into Dutch Oven. Stick on campfire. Prove the naysayer wrong and watch them turn out beautifully.

Ahh… now THAT is my kind of week.

Hope yours is every bit as good!

I’m over at 1001 First Lines today, talking about … first lines! (Bet you couldn’t figure that out on your own.)

Stop in and join me ’cause there’s some fun stuff happening.

As a Rock Fiction author, I sometimes think I have an image to maintain. A rep to protect, as the famous line from Grease goes.

Here’s some help.

It’s called Wear Your Music.

Now, maybe the site’s not so well-named. I mean, this doesn’t really fly as clothing, now does it?

Still, clothing or not, I’ve longed to have one. Maybe one day, for my birthday, someone will surprise me.

There are other lovely surprises on the site, as well. How many of you remember this Thursday Thirteen post I wrote back in 2007? Maybe that’s where the inspiration for guitar string bracelets came from. Wear Your Music even has bass string bracelets.

They also have something I hit on in that Thirteen post from almost five years ago: real-life guitarists have donated used strings to the site. They are then turned into bracelets, with a portion of the proceeds going to a charity designated by the artist — and the range of charities is interesting. Prices range from $50 to $500 for Eric Clapton‘s strings. $500! Wow!

In between, there’s members of Breaking Benjamin, Avril Lavigne, Carlos Santana, lots of folk you may not have heard of before (although you may recognize band names) … and two dudes named Hetfield and Hammett.

Honestly? I’d be happy with the original, non-star-used bracelets. You know what I’m gonna say… buy books. Let me afford it…

My friend, author Emily Casey, has interrupted my editing nirvana to remind me — and everyone else — that I am a born writer. She’s doing it in one of the most clever ways possible: by giving books awhile WHILE trying to educate even the most bashful reader about how important it is to support your favorite authors.

Here’s what she has to say about the Boost a Book event:

You, the reader

When you read a good book, you want to tell people about it! But aside from trying to convince your friend that they’re really going to like this random book you just found, what can you, as a reader, do to help an author?

How To Help
Word of mouth is of course really helpful, but did you know that just by leaving a review, you can make a book more visible to other readers? The review can be on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, your blog, Goodreads, Shelfari, it doesn’t matter. If it’s where readers can find it, you’re helping. The more times a book shows up on the internet, the more people hear about it.
[Note from Susan: If you post a review of any of my books on your own blog, I’ll link back to it.]

You can click the “like” button at the top of the book’s Amazon page, or the “Tags People Associate with This Product” at the bottom of the page. These help the book come up in search results and the “Readers Who Bought…” section.

You can also tweet about the book, mention it on facebook or Google+, or request the book at your local library or bookstore (if it’s in paperback).

The Good Stuff
The Boost a Book authors have some great fans and we know you all do some of these things already. So as a thank you, we’d like to offer some free ebooks. And, as an added bonus, we think it’d be fun to offer more books and more contest entries for each book you boost.

So grab your free entry below for a chance to win a free ebook from one of our Boost a Book authors. And if you want to discover even more new authors (by winning free ebooks) you can let us know how you’ve boosted a book and get extra entries.

How cool is THIS???

I’ve got some books in this give, myself, helping bring the grand total of books to be given away to 45. Yes. 45. How ’bout THEM cookies?

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Whoops! This interview with Vanessa Eccles almost slipped past my radar.

Stop in and see why it’d have been a shame if you missed it.

Nine more days of school and I am SO not ready for summer vacation. Or am I?

Check out my plan for getting work done AND entertaining my kids during this year’s upcoming break, over at WorkingNaked.com.